Serious masochism

I am very masochistic. Some people will call themselves masochistic because of mainstream BDSM culture. They like to be flogged or whatever.

I am far more masochistic than that. I think it ties into trauma and OCD.

Is there another way to fullfill masochistic tendancies without extreme behaviors?

I will not elaborate on my fetishes beyond saying they would probably horrify the average person. I would like to build less self destructive habits, but still somehow appease my masochistic core. Ideas?

I'm sorry I don't think I probably have much of anything to contribute here. But I noticed no one had yet replied to your post. So I thought I would.

Not knowing what it is you're dealing with, what occurs to me to say is to perhaps consider going to a fetish-related website where you could talk about what you're struggling with. I know this can, potentially, be a double-edged sword because there is the possibility talking about what you're dealing with might make you want to do it more too. But I know in my own case "talking" on-line, with like-minded people, about my own concerns has been about the only thing that has kept me going at times.

Unfortunately I haven't had a place to be in touch with like-minded people myself in several years now. I've been toying with the idea of going onto another website that is focused on concerns related to mine so I have somewhere to tell my story & be in contact with others who share similar concerns. I'm still not sure if I'm going to do it. But I leaning that direction.

Beyond that the only other thing I can think of to mention is that it is possible to learn to simply sit with the urges to do whatever it is you are doing... or would like to do. After all the urges are just thoughts & feelings. You don't have to act on them. This is the premise behind the Buddhist practice of compassionate abiding.

Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of how to sit with painful emotions:

How to Sit with Painful Emotions

Several Ways to Sit with Your Feelings

8 Tips For Dealing With Painful Emotions | Cultivating Contentment & Happiness

10 Ways To Cope When Your Life Seems Out Of Control | Cultivating Contentment & Happiness

And then here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice of compassionate abiding:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

Best wishes...

Could reading the erotica in the masochism genre help you at all? Our biggest sexual organ is our brain, maybe living it within a narrative could help.

How much have you actually lived out some of your fantasies? Have you found that experiencing masochism in reality you still want it as extreme as you fantasize about?

I have kind of the opposite problem. I love sexual sadism, and my girlfriend is a masochist. But she doesn't want it nearly as extreme as I do. She wants some spanking and whatnot, but I'd bruise her and hurt her a lot more if she were into it.

Thank you for the replies! Some areas I have acted on and some areas are fantasy because they are probably detrimental to my physical wellbeing. By probably I mean definitely.

I have tried other sites and I attract sadists, which doesn't help. I do need to work on obsessions without acting on compulsions.

I like the idea of reading erotica, but I am concerned it may just amp me up to want it more.