No intimacy for LMo

Aggh - sorry everyone. You were all so kind to take the time to reply to me and I haven't checked this thread in a while. Sorry about that...

I'm ok. Just kind of running low on energy these days.

I don't think I'm lonely, to answer Jennie's question. My husband is more than nurturing enough and gives me plenty of affection. He just isn't comfortable being sexual with me right now. I've talked to a lot of other pregnant women and it doesn't seem to be uncommon. He assures me that after the baby has hatched and I'm feeling better, that he is looking forward to resuming our sex life. So no, not really lonely - just needin' some nookie from my sweetie. I guess I can wait a little while longer.

Thanks everyone...

LMo...you take care of you! Things go by really quick during these exciting times. You could have him go with you to the next OB appointment and have the doc recommend sex to help induce labor when your ready.

Heh - that's a good idea, Jennie - our next appointment is on Friday. He always goes to the appointments with me. Although if he thinks it'll induce labor, then that might GUARANTEE I won't be gettin' any in the next 4 weeks! ha ha!

Aww, come on. 38 weeks is full term, right???? Plenty of reason for some nookie...to get that baby outta there!! (in a couple more weeks...)

I tried to get my hubby to "oblige" when I was 5 days overdue...but he wouldn't.

It was the spicy food from Chili's that finally did the trick and got her out!!

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LMo said:
Heh - that's a good idea, Jennie - our next appointment is on Friday. He always goes to the appointments with me. Although if he thinks it'll induce labor, then that might GUARANTEE I won't be gettin' any in the next 4 weeks! ha ha!

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Maybe consider changing positions? You kneeling on all fours with strong pillows supporting your upper body for support and hubby behind you. That way there is no pressure on your tummy. Your knees and shoulders support all the weight. And the pillows help make sure you don't lose strength. It doesn't exactly excite the clitoris but can help you feel something, especially if you are already warmed up. This is the only way my hubby and I could have sex when I was pregnant. When I was on my back, there was too much jiggling and the belly was in the way. Discuss this with your hubby. You could even put on a TV show for him to watch to distract him if he needs. He might consider it if he realizes you and the baby will be okay...and that it's good for your mental health well-being.

Oh, I've considered it Jennie - the problem isn't whether *I* am willing to be flexible - it's whether my husband is willing to venture into that realm. Which he isn't, and we've agreed to just put the whole thing on hold until after the baby arrives (unless he initiates). I'm ok with it - at least it's all out in the open now and I know what I can or cannot expect.

Thanks

From my own personal experience I will say:

I think my husband feared hurting me, was the main reason he didn't charge in like he had before. Even after me telling him the doctor said it was perfectly okay he was intimidated about the baby who'd be between us....personally, it was a little strange for me too, knowing the baby's there.

Another thing was ME. My son was enormous, I was a friggen house when I was pregnant with him and I felt gross. It didn't neccesarily decrease my sex drive but it made me feel crappy. If I feel crappy about myself then I am not as responsive to him. Men can sense that definitly.

So both issues together can kill some intimacy.

Just tell him you want it, and NOW....tell him his excuses aren't good enough. It won't take that long if it's been awhile for you both anyway....deman what you need, I'm sure you've done the same for him at one point or another.

Hope things get better for you hun, your bundle of joy will be there soon!

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LMo said:
Oh, I've considered it Jennie - the problem isn't whether *I* am willing to be flexible - it's whether my husband is willing to venture into that realm. Which he isn't, and we've agreed to just put the whole thing on hold until after the baby arrives (unless he initiates). I'm ok with it - at least it's all out in the open now and I know what I can or cannot expect.

Thanks

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*SIGH* I hear ya loud and clear. HANG IN THERE!!!!!!!!

is he wary of all sexual contact at this time or just penetration?

nothing. We make out and hug a lot - that's about where it ends.

wow. he doesn't even want you to do anything to him? i am finding this a bit weird...

Hey - I find it weird too, otherwise I wouldn't have posted about it. But before you elaborate, remember that I'm already feeling a bit sensitive about it and I'd really like to try not to theorize in ways that will increase my insecurities. He says that he wants things to go back to normal after the baby is born, so I'm giving him time and will see what happens. I can't or don't want to risk getting overly upset about it over the next few weeks - hard to explain this, but now more than ever, I sense that the baby is aware of my emotional states so I'm being careful to pick my battles.

The truth is that he *might* respond if I were to simply just, uh, go down on him but if there was no effort to reciprocate then I'd feel even worse and more frustrated afterwards. I think I look terrific but I sense that he doesn't find my body attractive in a sexual way right now, which sucks but I can't really dictate to him that he should. He still touches my body and rubs and kisses my belly so I am not thinking that I repulse him - he just doesn't see it as sexual. and he's going through a lot of his own stuff right now - I don't know how good he feels about *himself*.

anyway, thanks for your concern and i'll be happy to give you all an 'update' if/when things change (ha ha - maybe I should save it for PM though!)

hey. i know you are sensitive about this - i don't want to say anything that might result in your feeling upset, either. i just... feel for you.

maybe he is just kinda adjusting to the thought of being a daddy... and part of him seeing himself that way involves seeing you that way... i dunno... people can be funny sometimes. i had some issues with my bf not so long ago... i was really sensitive about them, so i think i do understand. maybe it is something you can talk to him about later once things have returned to normal.

thank you my fiend

typo or freudian slip?

hahaha - a typo! most definitely a typo!

lol
:-)

well you know it seems like he was taking time to adjust to the new you being pregnet and all and you said he is very supportive of you and loves you alot if it was meant to be then it will happen

thabks for resurrecting this. well, I'm happy to say that he's 'back' and his reluctance really did seem to be because there was a baby inside me. the fact that I had a c-section instead of a vaginal birth might have even helped in terms of when he was ready to get back in the saddle.

however, now *I* don't really feel like having sex these days - I barely have time to brush my teeth or eat - but that's another story...

thanks for your support everyone! I survived!

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LMo said:
*I* don't really feel like having sex these days - I barely have time to brush my teeth or eat - but that's another story...

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Now it looks like it is his turn to enjoy being just held / cuddled with.