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Old Oct 19, 2008, 04:51 PM
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura Miss Laura is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,275
Hey guys i am new here so bear with me

I am a 23 years old female. I have been questioning my "identlty" for a while now.

I have had a boyfriend. Way back when i was 12 years old until the age of 14 years old. He said after we dated that he was gay and he came out near the end of our last year at high school.

I have ALWAYS liked men. God the amount of cute guys out there is unreal heehee!!!

However i DO like females too. Not in a sexual way though. But more to do with having to please them or for me to feel good after they talk to m

My mate and i were talking last week and we were talking about few of the people at work etc. We had a few to drink and started talking about sex. She is happily going out with a guy whom she has known for years. Anyways i said i have never had a "proper" boyfriend and told her about the guy above. She asked if i have ever kissed a guy i said yes and she asked a proper kiss with togues and i said yes. I said but i have never had a guy look at me in a sexual or loving way. I have never had sex which she was shocked about. I have never had fantatsies either. She said to me "God are you not gay"??? I said i didn't know. She said i could be!!

I like someone else has said here like older females. I think it has to do with mothering. But i come from a loving family. I am the youngest of 3 and still live at home with my parents. I come from a not so strict anymore Catholic family. I was brought up in the Church. Sex Education was not allowed in my high school as it was deemed inappropriate. So i have never ACTUALLY had Sex Education. My parents did the whole birds and the bees conversation but it was nothing major. I learned how to kiss properly from my mates before i went our with the guy.

I had a friend a while back who like myself was a bit confused about her sexuality. She has had boyfriends but she liked girls too. I confessed then that i too had that feeling inside me. It was great to get it out of my system as no-one in my family would understand.

When i talk to certain females i get all nervous, start to get embarrassed and go all red in the face, majority of the time end up looking like a complete idiot, racing heart and feel all tingly inside.

Can anyone help me out here as its getting too much as i do not have a clue what i am.

Any help would be grateful

Thanks

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  #2  
Old Oct 21, 2008, 02:22 PM
pachyderm's Avatar
pachyderm pachyderm is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Washington DC metro area
Posts: 15,865
"i do not have a clue what i am."

You probably are a human being...
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When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
  #3  
Old Oct 21, 2008, 06:02 PM
bebop's Avatar
bebop bebop is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Ga
Posts: 13,936
hon if you have had basically no experience I don't think you would know for sure.
  #4  
Old Oct 22, 2008, 09:36 AM
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Kendyll Kendyll is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 380
Bisexuality is another possibility!
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They don't ever lock ya up for thinking crazy - they only get ya for actin' crazy!
And just 'cause I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't really out to get me...
  #5  
Old Oct 23, 2008, 04:27 AM
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura Miss Laura is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,275
Ok thanks guys........... but i am so confused. So i haven't actually experienced any relationships "proper" relationships. But i dislike the thought of kissing a guy. I kissed a guy on a drunken night out and it was disgusting. I actually wanted to be sick. I see people in films having sex and i do not even like the thought of that. I must just be a complete weirdo as i don't understand what is wrong with me.

Then you have the love of men and women. What is the deall there. Seriously i am so confused about what the h!!! i am that its quite upsetting.
  #6  
Old Oct 24, 2008, 12:09 AM
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Rhapsody Rhapsody is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
Is there any sexual abuse in your past? - I ask as some people feel as you do when they were abused as a child and are still trying to heal from the wounds left behind.

We (as humans) tend to hate that which hurt us... I know I use to hate men.
  #7  
Old Oct 24, 2008, 03:57 PM
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura Miss Laura is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,275
Hey no sexual abuse

So what is wrong with me??
  #8  
Old Oct 24, 2008, 04:37 PM
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Perzephone Perzephone is offline
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Member Since: May 2005
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 350
I don't think anything is wrong with you at all. However, from what you've written, it seems like you're rushing yourself into things, placing a lot of emphasis on your sexual orientation and trying to be in a relationship, and not just giving yourself time to being you.

Maybe you should take a step back from focusing on having a sexual relationship with someone, male or female, and take some time to get to know yourself better. You've got an entire lifetime to discover who you are, so just take your time. When you meet a person that is right for you to be with, sexually or friendship-wise, you'll know.

If all you want to do is experiment with sex (or flirting or whatever), don't worry about trying to turn a fun experimental thing into a relationship - just use protection and be honest with the other person (or people) so there aren't any hurt feelings or expectations.

Just for the record, I'm bi & found out at an early age that I liked boys and girls I am married to a man, but we have an open marriage - which is based on a lot of trust, communication and open-mindedness.
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For every ailment under the sun, there be a remedy or there be none. If there be a remedy, try to find it. If there be none, then never mind it.
  #9  
Old Oct 24, 2008, 06:13 PM
margthemermaid's Avatar
margthemermaid margthemermaid is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: FL
Posts: 19
Hay there Miss Laura.... Hello to the young lover...
Heck I'm been a man in my soul since I can remember and yet I am a female in body...
My opinion is that women are sexually attractive... No doubt about it for anyone... male or female....Women are the spark... Nothing would generate without a women...I believe ALL sparks originate from the female...Women can be a great turn on for eachother... BUT.... Here is what I think....
Sex can be practiced with anyone or almost anything now a days... But where does that get you...? Maybe a little lose wild acting ... But if you really want to start a relationship and get a family you have to do it right. One of each will make kids... Can't make kids with another female, a dog, a cow, a tree or a toy....or they won't actually belong to you... not to both.
Really putting it on the line... Women will definately be better at sex than men... It is their arena... But men will be a better protector so we each have to deal with eachother's shortcomings and grow and be enhanced by eachother's talents... and then maybe one day... "hay", you'll say to the other!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Laura View Post
Hey guys i am new here so bear with me

I am a 23 years old female. I have been questioning my "identlty" for a while now.

I have had a boyfriend. Way back when i was 12 years old until the age of 14 years old. He said after we dated that he was gay and he came out near the end of our last year at high school.

I have ALWAYS liked men. God the amount of cute guys out there is unreal heehee!!!

However i DO like females too. Not in a sexual way though. But more to do with having to please them or for me to feel good after they talk to m

My mate and i were talking last week and we were talking about few of the people at work etc. We had a few to drink and started talking about sex. She is happily going out with a guy whom she has known for years. Anyways i said i have never had a "proper" boyfriend and told her about the guy above. She asked if i have ever kissed a guy i said yes and she asked a proper kiss with togues and i said yes. I said but i have never had a guy look at me in a sexual or loving way. I have never had sex which she was shocked about. I have never had fantatsies either. She said to me "God are you not gay"??? I said i didn't know. She said i could be!!

I like someone else has said here like older females. I think it has to do with mothering. But i come from a loving family. I am the youngest of 3 and still live at home with my parents. I come from a not so strict anymore Catholic family. I was brought up in the Church. Sex Education was not allowed in my high school as it was deemed inappropriate. So i have never ACTUALLY had Sex Education. My parents did the whole birds and the bees conversation but it was nothing major. I learned how to kiss properly from my mates before i went our with the guy.

I had a friend a while back who like myself was a bit confused about her sexuality. She has had boyfriends but she liked girls too. I confessed then that i too had that feeling inside me. It was great to get it out of my system as no-one in my family would understand.

When i talk to certain females i get all nervous, start to get embarrassed and go all red in the face, majority of the time end up looking like a complete idiot, racing heart and feel all tingly inside.

Can anyone help me out here as its getting too much as i do not have a clue what i am.

Any help would be grateful

Thanks
__________________
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FIST
by Margthemermaid

I'm just a woman
I can't fight back
But I took my lessons in kung-fu
And now I have no face too.

My beauty is now that of a man
But a woman is needed by those who took the punch
Maybe another fight will endear me fonder
To those who believe life is to wander.

I search for love and win a snarl
I lose the fight, and cannot win again
I am a condemned woman by all the men
"If she'd just let them rule her soul, she'd win!"

Each day, I wake to fight again
Then wrought upon by other men.
My bruises are truly past what I can bear
But each look another ravishing stare...
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