[psych16m]

okay, so, i think i lost my sexual desire and i might know the reason, but knowing the reason doesn't help me. my T helped me figure out the reason but i still need help to solve the problem. please help.

okay, so, this is why i lost my sexual desire (according to my T)

just to let you know, i am 16 years old, male, and gay.

when i was 8 years old, me and my best friend somehow became interested in each other after school one day and this is what sparked my sexual desire. we never did anything more this kissed and messed around, nothing serious. shortly after, he moved. this was disappointing but shortly after he moved, i moved to. to arkansas, where i met another guy when i was about 11. he was the same age as me.

anyway, me and him seemed to click as soon as we met, and before i knew it, we were boyfriends and i could have never been happier. and this is the one guy i consider my first real bf because we were serious, we did everything.

unfornately, he moved last year because his dad found a new job. we both hated this. 4 years togethor just ended like that. it was probably the worst day of my life, but we couldnt help it, and before i knew it, he was gone. even worse, we have no way to talk to each other. i have a cell phone, but he doesn't and i dont know where he lives exactly. we never told out parents because we didnt want them to know.

this was almost a year ago.

recently, i found another guy that i really like but i have no sexual desire. we're happy togethor and all, but i want to be complete with him you know. like i was with my last. i know i cant get my last back, but i want what i had with him with my new.

i know it takes time but can anyone help me? please. thank you in advance.

[Rhapsody]

It is hard when one looses their first love and while we may move on we will never forget the one that first helped our heart feel complete... please hang in there and continue on with your therapy even if it takes years for you to improve and move on.

[psych16m]

yeah.. i guess.
just wished he never moved. then everything would be perfect

[cantstopcrying]

If you don't have any sexual desire with this new bf, maybe you just aren't close enough yet. Especially at your young age, all relationships don't have to have sexual desire as a component. It's ok to be just boyfriends without wanting sex. It's just a step through your long path of life. There are many levels of intimacy and they don't all include sex or sexual desire. Maybe your inner self is holding your sexual desire for the one person that it's really right for and that person has not appeared (or reappeared) yet. If you care about your bf, spend time with him, show him you care about him and frankly at your age your showing respect for him and you by not having sex. Give it time, trust your mind and heart and body to know when it's right. Keep talking to your t and reaching out.

[psych16m]

thanx. that helps alot. maybe i'll just wait and see what happens. having just moved and all, i think my life is a little too chaotic. just need to settle in and all. well, i have to go. thanx for the advice. we'll see what happens

[Slothrop]

Well, to be honest, no sex drive at 16 seems unusual...

Do you take any meds? They can really mess up your sex drive.

Or maybe the new bf just isn't The One...sometimes everything clicks but that.

Sorry you lost someone that way. Such a total break must be really hard.

[psych16m]

no meds. well, i used to take them but i recently got off of them.
just been going to my T twice as much.
and so far... still nothing.
guess i just need to get back into my old habit of life.
idk but i'll wait and see
thanx for the help tho

[Rhapsody]

Also remember that sex is 90% mental and only 10% physical (even though it feels like it is the other way around) - therefore, if the mind is wounded the body may not function as before.