[bananasarecool]

firstly id like to state that i do have pretty severe clinical depression and have been in this episode for over a year and a half. ive been with my boyfriend for nearly eight months now and im 16. before ive been able to get properly lubricated and digitally penetrated but even with one finger that hurt. basically, we tried to have [protected] sex today for the first time and he couldnt really get it in... eventually he got the head in but that hurt. a LOT. i dont think that it was my hymen but the pain didnt subside for hours later... and getting it in after that was basically impossible. im not on meds and i dont know why this happened or what to do... i definitely wanted to and i felt comfortable and safe etc... but getting at all lubirated after he got the head in was basically impossible. can anyone help?

[Irine]

It hurts me, too.
I think it gets better the more you have....

[lotusflames]

honestly my first time wasn't that bad.

even though you say you were comfortable and wanted it, there may be something in you that isn't quite ready for the experience. if you have problems with sexual activity hurting, i would suggest just relaxing with your boyfriend, enjoying being together and dont try and force anything

[Irine]

Originally Posted by lotusflames

honestly my first time wasn't that bad.

even though you say you were comfortable and wanted it, there may be something in you that isn't quite ready for the experience. if you have problems with sexual activity hurting, i would suggest just relaxing with your boyfriend, enjoying being together and dont try and force anything

Are you saying that all pain during sexual activity is caused be tenssion? Not anything pure physical?

[AAAAA]

Quite honestly sex was painful for me until I had given birth to my first child, so I do not have any answers for you.

[Eagle3]

For more info where this came from: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/painful-intercourse/DS01044

Causes of entry pain

Pain during penetration may be associated with a range of factors, including:

• Inadequate lubrication. This is often the result of not enough foreplay. Inadequate lubrication is also commonly caused by a drop in estrogen levels after menopause, after childbirth or during breast-feeding. In addition, certain medications are known to inhibit desire or arousal, which can decrease lubrication and make sex painful. These include antidepressants, high blood pressure medications, sedatives, antihistamines and certain birth control pills.
• Injury, trauma or irritation. This includes injury or irritation from an accident, pelvic surgery, female circumcision, episiotomy or a congenital abnormality.
• Inflammation, infection or skin disorder. An infection in your genital area or urinary tract can cause painful intercourse. Eczema or other skin problems in your genital area also can be the problem.
• Reactions to birth control products. It's possible to have an allergic reaction to foams, jellies or latex. Pain may also be caused by an improperly fitted diaphragm or cervical cap.
• Vaginusmus. Involuntary spasms of the muscles of the vaginal wall (vaginismus) can make attempts at penetration very painful.
• Vestibulitis. Painful penetration also occurs in a condition called vestibulitis, which is characterized by unexplained stinging or burning around the opening of your vagina.

Causes of deep pain

Deep pain usually occurs with deep penetration and may be more pronounced with certain positions. Causes include:

• Certain illnesses and conditions. The list includes endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, uterine prolapse, retroverted uterus, uterine fibroids, cystitis, irritable bowel syndrome, hemorrhoids and ovarian cysts.
• Infections. An infection of your cervix, uterus or fallopian tubes can cause deep pain.
• Surgeries or medical treatments. Scarring from surgeries that involve your pelvic area, including hysterectomy, can sometimes cause painful intercourse. In addition, medical treatments for cancer, such as radiation and chemotherapy, can cause changes that make sex painful.

Emotional factors

Emotions are deeply intertwined with sexual activity and may play a role in any type of sexual pain. Emotional factors include:

• Psychological problems. If you experience anxiety, depression, concerns about your physical appearance, fear of intimacy or relationship problems, it can contribute to painful intercourse.
• Stress. Your pelvic floor muscles are very sensitive to stress. So stress can lead to painful intercourse.
• History of sexual abuse. Most women with dyspareunia don't have a history of sexual abuse, but if you have been abused, it may play a role.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell whether psychological factors are a cause or result of dyspareunia. Initial pain can lead to fear of recurring pain, making it difficult to relax, which can lead to more pain.

[Maven]

I was going to give some information about vaginismus and dyspareunia, but Eagle3 beat me to it and did a better job if it!

Pain with sex can be caused by many different things. With a condom, you might want to try an artificial lubricant to supplement your own. Depending how much experience you've had, it might take some stretching for the pain to stop, but it could also be because of any of the things Eagle3 posted. You might want to see a gynecologist for advice.

[RebbieDoll]

I have had that exact same horribly painful experience every single time I've had sex. I don't know why it is, but once it's in all the way it stops hurting after a while. It's so weird and it makes no sense. I wish I had answers, but I don't; just want you to know I can definitely relate.

[ickydog2006]

Been there, done that. Firstly, I want to say that I don't think you should be having sex at that age. That said, I will tell you of my experiences. Buy lube. Personally, I prefer the cheap jelly brand (equate I think) from Walmart. I thought I got plenty of lubrication before I started having sex... yeah, not near enough. Thank you God for lube. My first time, even with lube was very painful and hurt (moderately to mildly) for three days after. It hurt, slightly less, for the next ten times or so. Those ten times it also didn't hurt as much afterwards, maybe only a day or so. I had a pap before having sex, so I did know that nothing was wrong with me down there. The pap also broke my hymen completely. BTW, now that you are sexually active, or at least considering it, it is very important for you to start having regular pap smears. I know, fun fun. Sex still hurts some when he enters me, but after that it is completely fine. It does hurt less the more you do it, but I completely understand the inability to do so after having it hurt so badly. As long as it still hurts from the previous time, I would suggest waiting until trying again.

[lotusflames]

Originally Posted by ladymacabethadmunsen

Are you saying that all pain during sexual activity is caused be tenssion? Not anything pure physical?

no i'm not saying that at all!

but what i am saying is that lots and lots of people aren't quite as relaxed or ready for sex when they have it as they might think they are. and the best way to relax is to slow things down and make sure you really are comfortable.

then, if the problem still happens you have to look at the phsical side.
i'd also say not to rush things or worry too much

[Miracle1986]

I have the same problem. Sex just plain hurts!!!

Sometimes you can have a very thick hymen, I did before my first time, I couldn't even do tampons till after I had sex the first time. Did it hurt, yup! But it went away after the first time. It is normal to have blood too after the first time.

[Rhapsody]

It took my boyfriend three different times of trying before he could penetrate me - I was sixteen and a virgin... and yes it hurt for days and I spotted off and on for about a week.

Just take it easy and keep trying if this is truly what you want to do and it will happen in time... I promise.
just remember: all new things need to stretch to fit right and some times the stretching is done over time, not all at once.

[Seabirdanne]

I read this book by Joyce Maynard, an author who, when she was young, had a relationship with J.D. Salinger, a famous, much older author. She wrote how he couldn't penetrate her, and how she felt so awful for so long because of that. And yet, after their relationship, she eventually found someone who she could have pain-free sex with. She finally concluded that much as she consciously thought that she wanted to be with that first man, something unconscious was adamantly opposed. I'm not saying this is what is going on with you, but at sixteen years of age, many women don't yet know themselves. There is brain wisdom and there is body wisdom; sometimes you should trust your body and wait.

[jerrymichele]

Personally I think that your to young, and your body is telling you no. I had a problem like this before when I was young also. The Dr. told me to get KY. It worked to. And if your bf is making you feel pressure about this, that could be why yout body isn't being reciptive to him.

[Junerain]

I had the same problem....I was too STRESSED so my muscles TIGHTENED...it can be solved by practicing inserting your finger into your vagina, it is YOURSELF so your muscles will be RELAXED, practice, practice, until you get used to the feeling of a presence there..then, you will find visualizing this feeling of relaxed-ness, keeping relaxed muscle wise, it will not hurt nearly as much if at all....

.......................................this worked for me, I read it in Sex For Dummies!