Anxious to be Posting This...

OK, I've got a thread in the SI area, and I've focused on trying to get help with that, I always have. I've not once asked for help or delved into many areas of my problematic waste of existance refered to as 'life'. heh

So, I'm really anxious to be posting this because IDK what to expect, I just don't talk about this stuff, unless it's to friends, and even then it rarely comes up.

Sleep, well, it's always been an issue with me, although I could barely ever pinpoint the actual issues in the first place. Ever since I was a baby I've hated sleep. Obviously I do sleep, I just sleep at seriously fudged up times and either too much (and the usual fatigue continues) or not enough. I'm commonly up late at night, well, early morning, I should say. Since I was about 16 I've had worse sleep problems. I really struggle to pinpoint it, I guess it's something maybe you can only understand if you know me, and know my past. During these times I had bad sleep deprevasion for quite some time, on and off, giving me mild hallucinations and extreme paranoia.

Currently I go to sleep at about 4-5am and it's slowly getting worse. I wake up at about 1-2pm. Either I have this refusal to sleep inside of me, and an almost instinctive urge to stay up as long as possible, or I literally can't sleep, hence insomnia (common unless I wreck myself) or I'll be fearful of the silence, knowing my mind would be free of distraction and able to pretty much wonder and think.

I am capable of flipping my sleep around, and it's stressful and tireing to do so, it's very unpleasant; I'm assuming you guys know what it's like? IDK. Anyway, I've done it many times over the years, and it usually ends up with me staying up all night and all day (or attempt to) until I literally overlap it all and somehow end up normal, well, once my body gets at least a bit used to it. But, then ALL it takes is ONE moment of insomnia, or that horrible refusal to sleep that I fight so hard against, or this ridiculous s--t that life gives me. Anything can theoretically throw me off. *sighs*

So, I'm really sorry for typing so much, it's just been a great many years of suffering from whatever the hell I have, in regards to sleep, and I didn't want to waste your time with vague nonsense.

If you have the same problem, please just at least say.. I feel so alone with this problem, and it just further adds to the Depression.

Thank you.

I have a good friend with, what sounds like, your sleep patterns. He goes to bed after the sun comes up, is up all night. Should be interesting as he has to come to our house tomorrow by 12:30 in the afternoon for a Mother's Day party.

Have you had a sleep study done ever or at least bloodwork/medical exam recently? There is a circadian rhythm sleep disorder out there: http://www.minddisorders.com/Br-Del/...-disorder.html

Yes I am in the same situation as yourself, but couldnt and havent solved it after 45 years. It just evades me. I have given up torturing myself over it now and just accept it and keep busy either here or on a project when everybody else is asleep.

Sorry I have no magical solution to this just a shared situation.

You are not alone in this.

Paddy

5am I went to sleep this morning.. *sighs* ..had to wreck myself again. Agh. Woke up just 8 hours later, thank you alarm.

Thanks, guys, for the support.

My nephew is like this. It just seems to suit him better. Hopefully he'll get a night job when he graudates...

Akuma,

I have always had a lot of trouble with sleeping as well. Mostly I've suffered from horrible insomnia, but that has changed now that I am on meds full time. It seems like the meds make me sleepy and that (obviously) helps me to go to sleep. I still struggle with waking many, many times during the night, but overall I sleep a lot more than I used too. Sometimes I feel like I sleep too much. Sleep is an awful thing to deal with. Too little and it seems to ruin my day, too much and I seem to waste my day.

You say that you don't like the quiet, so I will ask a few questions that are probably stupid, but humor me. Do you prefer to sleep in a quiet room? If not, do you listen to music? If so, is it calming or just random? I would go for calming, like meditative types of music. Or try a noise machine. My son brilliantly thought to get me a noise machine this past Christmas and its has worked miracles! It has 6 different sound choices and there is something so soothing to the calm repetition of peaceful sounds. When I have difficulty shutting my brain up, I focus on the noise machine and am usually able to fall asleep.

Also, what is it that you are afraid of thinking about? Maybe if you get the thoughts out during the day when you don't want to sleep you will be at more peace when you are ready to sleep? Blah, blah, you know I talk to much. Those are just some ideas.

Thank you for taking the time to type that out, PS.

It's complicated and personal to go into a greater detail to that which goes on inside my head, late at night, but that said, I do prefer the quiet.

When I was younger, I had such a problem going to sleep, that oddly, I would leave the TV on all night, and I did this for a very long time; years perhaps. Now, that would drive me bonkers.

That noise making machine you spoke of, sounds like a simple yet useful invention.

Unfortunately, due to my anxiety and OCD issues, it's not just a case of emptying my mind of negativity during the day, only to be wonderfully happy at night. I usually have my PC on next to me, and I think, in a sense, it may just help, as it produces an average amount of noise.

By the way, PS, you do not talk to much, in my opinion. As it happens, I clearly talk too much.

Akuma,
I have always had very weird sleep patterns, and am also troubled by sleep walking. One thing that has helped me, ironically, is working nights. Now I am supposed to be up all night and sleeping during the day, which seems to work better for my brain. Also, if I have not been getting enough sleep, which I still sometimes don't, I let myself sleep anywhere in my home that I feel sleepy. I literally have alarm clocks in every room of the house (yes, this includes places like kitchen and bathroom!) If I haven't been sleeping, and suddenly I'm drowsy while sitting at the kitchen table, I reach over, set the alarm, put my head down and go to sleep if I can. This goes contrary to most doctors advice (which has always been that I should sleep in my bed) but if I really need it, I figure I should get it wherever I can! Thanks for posting this. It always helps to know you're not the only one.

Anyone who cares,

That is literally the point I'm at. I've been struggling like hell to sort out my sleeping pattern once again, and I just hope it lasts. It's been horrible. I've struggled so much getting back to normality. I woke up at five this morning, which isn't too bad, considering lately it's been one and two in the morning. Anyway, sorry, nobody probably gives a -h-t, but I thought I'd share mine.

Regards,
Akuma

Hi Akuma! I'm sorry to hear that you are still struggling to sleep. Sleep deprevation always seems to magnify any other trouble I might be having. It sounds like you prefer to have quiet when you are trying to sleep, but might it help to give your mind something to focus on, such as reading? Sometimes that can help me. Or I try to direct my thoughts towards things that are dull. Such as thinking out each tiny step in making breakfast. Or the multiplication table. Any random boring subject.
Don't know that I can be very helpful, but you at least have my empathy! I know what it feels like.

Thanks for sharing, Akuma.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ins...7/METHOD=print
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/default.htm

Good luck.