I sometimes have a recurring dream of being in my former home state, either as a child still living with my parents, or as an adult moving back there. I don't consider these dreams pleasant, as I moved 3,000 miles away from there for a reason! In fact, the last time I visited, the trip was a fiasco, and I left there saying I would never cross the Kentucky state line again. That was 2 1/2 years ago, and I meant it although my family didn't believe me at the time.

But the dream I had the other night stood out from the crowd.

Some real-life background to set the stage: I have an uncle who took over the family business from my grandparents, and essentially ran it into the ground. He ended up deep in personal debt and had to sell the business to pay it off. The uncle is a bit of a jerk anyway, and is a major part of the reason I won't go back. As for his character, he's in his 50's and has never lived anywhere other than with family or in the apartment at the family business, for any length of time, nor has he ever had any other job besides the family business, for any length of time. I have little respect for him because he has worked for nothing on his own but has been handed everything he's ever had. And then what he was handed, he ruined. Worst of all, he now has power of attorney over my grandmother's affairs and is slowly bleeding her dry.

So I dreamed I bought the business back (where I got the money, I don't know) and fixed it up, and restored it as a pleasant family hangout as well as a business. Hubby and I moved into the apartment above the shop, that the uncle had been living in before he sold the business and moved back in with my grandmother. The only thing that made hubby uncomfortable was the fact that the apartment had only one restroom, and he always wants a place with two (this is true in real life.) In case a toilet breaks down, he wants a backup while he's waiting for the plumber. So I pointed out that there would be a backup--he could always go downstairs and use the one in the shop. With that, hubby was happy to move into the apartment. He got a job doing what he has been doing for 25 years; driving a city bus. But now he was doing it for my old home town, not the city we live in now. The uncle then began working for me, as did other family members that my uncle had refused to train when he was running things.

Everyone in the dream, including myself, was entirely out of character. The family never listens to me, yet here they were, all doing my bidding. I never take control, simply because they *don't* listen, and yet here I was running the show and getting results. It was the happiest back-home dream I ever had.

What can anyone make of it?

[shaggy dog]

I'm sorry to hear you have such a tumultuous relationship with your uncle. Did someone in your family have a milestone like a birthday or anniversary that may have precipitated such an idyllic dream? Maybe you were just remembering a few of the good times you did have with your family and the memories came out by allowing you to have such a pleasant dream.

Actually, it's more of a tragedy. My special-needs aunt, who was a major fixture in the family business, passed away in early March. We are all still grieving.

[shaggy dog]

I apologize LovebirdsFlying and I'm sorry for your loss. shaggy

No apology necessary, and thank you for your sympathy. I kind of thought the dream might be connected to the loss of my aunt, but then why would it be so *happy*? That's what puzzled me.

[Perna]

Since you can't be physically with the family, you might have had this pleasant dream to give you a way to be back with them for the loss of your aunt, a more "togetherness" dream since the reality is anything but.

I think recurring themes about certain times/location are because we're still grappling with what happened there/then. There are bound to be symbols that only you can figure out since it's you creating the dream for yourself. I use to dream about the apartment I lived in 35-40 years ago, long after I had moved, and, in addition, there were always cockroaches in the dreams! I had them in that apartment for real but not like in the dream but they obviously were standing in for something. Therapy got the dreams to not be needed anymore, haven't dreamed about that apartment or cockroaches :-) in at least 10+ years.