[StitchIsAwesome135]

Hey guys,

So I have have been having some problems lately that are sort of childish. I have always been the "every else's rock type" of person that recently has seemed to change since dealing with some major depression and it has sort of culminated up to this. Over the last week or so I have been having a very hard time getting to sleep. It's like I am regressing back to being 5 years old. I can't be in a dark room lately. I have a VERY vivid imagination and I will imagine that I'm seeing things or give a mental picture to the "bumps in the night" and the such, and to go with that I also add audible sounds to those visualizations. I know that there is nothing there, and I'm not going to say that I'm actually seeing anything either, but this lack of being able to be comfortable in my own house now is causing some big problems.

Along with these problems I have been having very vivid nightmares, I don't remember any dreams that aren't nightmares and haven't for a good while now. They are getting worse and they are waking me up and disturbing me to the point that I have been sleepwalking. There has been a previous connection with fear and sleepwalking so I assume this is why it has started up again.

To be honest I don't know why I am posting this aside from the fact that it is late and again I'm sitting in a completely lit room with the tv on because when I turn the light off I know I will be thrown into a frenzy. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Anything would be greatly appreciated.

[BatsAndButterflies]

I can definitely relate to the last part of that. If I walk into a room and miss the light switch I will completely freak out and my heart will beat out of my chest even if it is just for a second because I can't see. If I'm downstairs and catch even a glimpse of something I perceive as terrifying then I will have to distract myself long enough to forget about it before I can make it to my room. And I can't be in my room at night without two small lights and the TV on with the volume high enough to hear, but low enough that I can't recognize what is being said so I can actually try and sleep.

I perceive every sound at night as possibly a ghost or demon that some how made it into my room or someone unwelcome coming up my stairs. It's been this way ever since CSI started coming on television though. I love watching action and mystery, but it seriously messes with my mind.

If this is a more recent thing for you. Try and pinpoint what in your life changed when these things started bothering you. Are there any new stresses in your life that weren't there before? Also try keeping a dream journal: write down how you feel and around what time you go to sleep every night, the dream itself, and what time and how you wake up. Try and find patterns with the nights you are haunted by nightmares. Also, by writing things down, you are somewhat encouraging your brain that it's not so important to hold on to, because you have it written down somewhere.

Hope this helps even a little. I'm also reading a book called The Tao of Music: Sound Psychology There is an exercise in there that is supposed to improve sound sleeping. If you want I'll post it as a second thread in the Sleep forum.

[Perna]

I wouldn't judge yourself harshly for what you like/don't like about getting to sleep just because it is different from what you think is the "ideal". I'd buy myself a nightlight or leave hall/living room lights on (I use to do that when my husband went out of town) and think of ways to comfort myself. I have a good imagination too and get to imagining things but either rein myself back in (realizing that I can't know the future and if I'm going to imagine it, I might as well imagine good things as scary ones?) or think of a way to work on whatever I imagine that bothers me.

[Missingno]

Ah, your imagination is keeping you up. I recommend putting on some soft music when going to bed to get your mind off things.

[StitchIsAwesome135]

White noise other than a fan doesn't help. I love music but when I have it on I have to listen to it, it can't just play. Lately the fan on makes my imagination worse because I feel like it's covering up what "should" be making noise.

I thought about bringing it up to my counselor but it's not something I've been able to bring up. It really just bothers me that I am not living up to those male stereotypes that everyone loves to hate.

[Missingno]

Originally Posted by StitchIsAwesome135

White noise other than a fan doesn't help. I love music but when I have it on I have to listen to it, it can't just play. Lately the fan on makes my imagination worse because I feel like it's covering up what "should" be making noise.

I thought about bringing it up to my counselor but it's not something I've been able to bring up. It really just bothers me that I am not living up to those male stereotypes that everyone loves to hate.

Maybe you should try some other form of white noise.

As for the male stereotype thing, no need to worry. Honestly your sleep is more important than your image.

[Vibe]

I have nights too where I'm absolutely terrified to sleep in the dark (although I hate admitting it). When I get absolutely desperate during these times I leave a very dim lamp on in my room at night. I want it to emit just enough light to let me clearly see everything around me but not much more (more than a night light, less than most lamps)- a comforting and relaxing light level. I always sleep with a ton of blankets and I will pull the blankets over my face if I need darkness for sleep, but whenever I start to feel uncomfortable I easily lift the covers and have immediate light. Sometimes I'll leave an area open in the blankets so I can peek through and let a bit of light in. It's easy to adjust based on what I need at that particular moment.

It might also help to have someone with you. A pet, perhaps? Something to keep you from feeling alone. Of course, any animal you bring might make some noise so you'll have to evaluate for yourself whether that would be helpful for not. I've also grown accustomed to having something to grab onto as well - like a stuffed animal or body pillow. Sometimes that can make me feel more secure as well.

The last thing I do is lock the place up before bed. There are people who will testify that I will not sleep with an open door. If the bedroom door can be locked, I want it locked. I get everything I need for the night (water, etc) and barricade myself in. However, I also know people who feel better having the door open because they feel trapped otherwise. So it's all about how your mind works and what makes you comfortable.

[Missingno]

Originally Posted by Vibe

I've also grown accustomed to having something to grab onto as well - like a stuffed animal or body pillow. Sometimes that can make me feel more secure as well.

A blankey can also help here.