[Lifeistrulyaride]

I'm not really sure whether to put this under the abuse thread or here. All of my nightmares and night terrors revolve around my repressed sexual abuse. Other than nightmares, this is the second time that I believe to have experienced a night terror. The first time was about a month ago when I was visiting my mother..and the next day she recalled in the morning that I had sat up, screaming help me..crying hysterically..to the point where she had to sit with me for about an hour or so calming me down. I don't remember this incident. And I questioned in my past blog in the abuse thread..whether this was a nightmare or whether it was a night terror. It did occur in the first 90 minutes of sleep and I had no recollection of it ever occurring..so that's why I'm considering it a night terror.

Okay.. but this happened again..specifically last night..and it's freaking me out..and it's embarrassing. Last night my girlfriend spent the night..we've been together for over a year..and she has been my best friend for years. So I'm comfortable around her. But I live in an apartment with 3 other roommates. I share a room with my one roommate. So it was me, my girlfriend and my roommate in the room last night. My girlfriend fell asleep before me..I wasn't tired..this was around midnight..she had to wake up around 6 for work..so I decided not to bother her and to take a hot shower so I'd feel more cozy for bed. I got in bed, closed my eyes..and eventually ended up falling asleep. I don't remember anything after that. This morning at 6..my girlfriend kissed me goodbye.. but I said I had to pee so I got up with her..she told me in the hallway that "Everything will be okay." I felt confused and asked her what she was talking about. And she was like "You don't remember..oh it must have been another night terror. I just felt really bad for you."

Apparently in the morning.. She tried putting her arms around me to hold me while we slept..and I backed away and screamed.."Don't touch me..Don't come near me." She said she felt really, really bad and wasn't sure what to do..but she knew that I've been like this before but it was her first time seeing it and I suppose realizing that I'm not just saying that this happens to me..but that it really does happen. It's just kind of freaky, and scary that I can't recall this stuff from happening..

My girlfriend just started texting me this morning..after I had woken up..and she's been like "Those night terrors you have are scary. Right before it happened you were clenching your teeth." I told her I'm sorry she had to see that. They happen like that.. and I never recall them..but that hey now you see that I'm not just saying that this happens but that it really does..that both her and my mother have been witness to it..that I have some sort of problem..that I believe that I'm repressing memories of sexual abuse. She responded by saying.."Yeah you must have been molested at some point back then otherwise why would you breathe heavy and get scared and say don't come near me?"

I told my mother the other day that I need help..therapy specifically..and this is one thing I want to bring up in therapy..I just really don't know how to bring it up..any suggestions? Or any suggestions about how to relieve this..I don't know if it can be prevented?

[Perna]

We are whole and our night dreams and body functions are what we need and helpful to us. It sounds to me like you might have anxiety during the day that you are either trying to keep under wraps or that is otherwise very uncomfortable to you and it is coming out in your dreams and night terrors. I would first go to your regular medical doctor and get a physical, blood, and urine tests and make sure you do not have a hormone or other problem. If your adrenals are out of whack (I have an adrenal tumor), or any of the part of the HPA axis:

http://www.nichd.nih.gov/news/releases/stress.cfm

how it is "expressed" could be what you are seeing and fixing a physical problem might fix your dreams/night terrors. But it could just be good old daytime stress and you might want to try some therapy or stress-reducing activities like yoga, meditation, exercise, etc. If you have a particular problem, addressing that in therapy might help.