Sleepless in Phoenix: Stardate 1.0

It feels like ages since I've slept. Yesterday, I woke up at 6:57pm completely bewildered that I'd fallen asleep sometime between 12-1pm. My sleep has flip flopped. I seem to be on Australian time. I blame that on Illegal Toilet and choocha for being so interesting. Truth is that it's my own fault. I know this.
Nothing works anymore. My sleep cannot be measured in milligrams. Zolpidem, melatonin, trazadone, haldol, seroquel, xanax, ativan, valium, klonopin...let me count the ways I used to love you when I could sleep.

You never helped me like they said you would. I'm always left in a cloud of foggy disbelief, hugging my pillow and whispering sweet nothings into the abyss that time left with us.

I try meditating. I try making it cold in here. I try tea. I try everything. I google: help me sleep. please help me sleep. 1, 2, 3 sheep help me sleep.
My boyfriend snores peacefully beside me.

I pretend it does not matter because I'm afforded the opportunity to be able to not work. The government is nice like that.
School starts in two days. I can't concentrate when I do not sleep right.

Any ideas?

I actually had this problem one year in college. For two weeks solid I wouldn't fall asleep until midafternoon and I'd be up for the next 18 or so hours. It sucked! I tried alcohol (heavy dark stout ales can fill you up enough to get you groggy if you can handle the taste), and I tried all sorts of "get me to sleep" ideas. None worked. What I ended up having to do was actually just the opposite.

Try keeping yourself awake for a full 14+ hour period. Get active and social - it helps to keep you from sitting around and inadvertantly falling asleep). After more than 24 hours pass, go to bed at an appropriate bed time. Now here's the part that's important -- set analarm to wake you up at a decent morning hour, like between 830 and 10 in the morning. Th
en go out and be active for the day so you come home exhausted by the time you go to sleep (SAME TIME AS THE NIGHT BEFORE). Wake up at the same time in the morning. Lather, rinse, and repeat the wake/sleep process for at least one more day and see if that forces your sleeping patterns back to normal.

Good luck! I know I hated feeling off like that!

It was totally choocha and illegal toilets fault for being too interesting in chat the other night lol. I was sleepless too, but sounds like you got it a lot worse than me. Hopefully you've slept by now?