[panzerman]

I have progressed from a recurring, specific, very articulate nightmare of an event that never occured in my 3 tours to Iraq ( I even wrote it down because it was so vivid and the emotions so strong) to dreams that I cannot remember but cause me to either speak in a horrible tone; yelling, swearing, and screaming at something or dreams that I cannot recall but my wife has had to hit me to get me to let go of her hands. This latest bit of information my wife just gave me this evening as she took a break from work. I am EXTREMELY concerned and intend on seeking medical help tomorrow thorugh the military. Up to this point I simply thought that I was going through a bit of PTSD and that it would work itself out but the fact that I am grabbing and squeezing her hands , causing pain for her, frightens me. I feel horrible to even wirte this but feel I should.....

(((((panzerman)))))
Maybe what is in your nightmare really did hapen and that's why you are having such a strong reaction to it?

Stay safe
-kaika

[panzerman]

Originally Posted by Kaika

(((((panzerman)))))
Maybe what is in your nightmare really did hapen and that's why you are having such a strong reaction to it?

Stay safe
-kaika

First of all Thank you for posting, I appreciate it.

Many things happened over there that would be understandable if they were bothering me now in dreams or flashbacks but not this partiuclar dream. It is so real that when I wake I can smell the stench of Iraq; dust, unwashed bodies, cordite, gun oil, death. The sweat that pours from me carries the smell as well, it takes me many minutes to make myself believe that I am not there again. I can handle all that though, it is this new twist; I am grabbing my wife while I sleep and dream ( I assume) and causing pain. I have no memory of this, no memory of her hitting and yelling at me to stop and let go, no memory of a dream..nothing except a few bumps from where she hit me in the face with a book to make me let go of her. I am not playing the part of some whacked out vet, in fact quite the opposite as I have been a rock of stability during my tours. I have no regrets from my tours and actively seek to go again to Afghanistan this time. I am not looking for anything or asking that my actions be excused. I am, however, very concerned that something, that I have no control over, is taking control of me and I do not want to hurt anyone, especially my family.

It is so hard to write this, I read it over and over and think "this can't be me, this **** doesnt happen to me". Maybe it isn't and I am making something out of nothing but the looks from my wife tells me otherwise.

I have an appointment with Mental Health tomorrow to talk a few things over.

[possum220]

Dear Panzerman,

I am glad you are going to see a medical professional tomorrow. I hope you are able to talk to some-one who knows what they are talking about. The whole scenario sounds serious. Obviously your previous tours have had a serious impact on your subconscious, whether you are aware of it or not.

Minds can do weird and wonderful things just to protect us in the moment.

Please take care.

Possum

[(JD)]

Originally Posted by panzerman

I have progressed from a recurring, specific, very articulate nightmare of an event that never occured in my 3 tours to Iraq ( I even wrote it down because it was so vivid and the emotions so strong) to dreams that I cannot remember but cause me to either speak in a horrible tone; yelling, swearing, and screaming at something or dreams that I cannot recall but my wife has had to hit me to get me to let go of her hands. This latest bit of information my wife just gave me this evening as she took a break from work. I am EXTREMELY concerned and intend on seeking medical help tomorrow thorugh the military. Up to this point I simply thought that I was going through a bit of PTSD and that it would work itself out but the fact that I am grabbing and squeezing her hands , causing pain for her, frightens me. I feel horrible to even wirte this but feel I should.....

Recurring dreams do mark an event or unresolved issue. When PTSD enters the scene, imo the brain works harder at trying to file the memories, without much success due to the changes in the brain chemicals. Files are scattered all over the floor of the memory department, to put it one way.
Brains use dreams to process information. When a horrific recurring dream (nightmare, night terror) enters it denotes having been triggered IRL to the events again. PTSD does this "all on it's own" imo.

Normal "processing" of the dreams don't appear to work when PTSD is involved. You can understand this because even "normal" conscious memory work fails to immediately allow you to put the memory away, such as is normal. PTSD gives you a new normal, and it's very beastly tough!

PTSD requires the assistance of a professional expert in the field. Once you begin to learn how to process the memories, and be consistent in countering them through therapy such as CBT, then the nightmares will lessen considerably.

It's a long haul, my friend. Please stay on the path though, it is the right one.

[panzerman]

Originally Posted by _Sky

Recurring dreams do mark an event or unresolved issue. When PTSD enters the scene, imo the brain works harder at trying to file the memories, without much success due to the changes in the brain chemicals. Files are scattered all over the floor of the memory department, to put it one way.
Brains use dreams to process information. When a horrific recurring dream (nightmare, night terror) enters it denotes having been triggered IRL to the events again. PTSD does this "all on it's own" imo.

Normal "processing" of the dreams don't appear to work when PTSD is involved. You can understand this because even "normal" conscious memory work fails to immediately allow you to put the memory away, such as is normal. PTSD gives you a new normal, and it's very beastly tough!

PTSD requires the assistance of a professional expert in the field. Once you begin to learn how to process the memories, and be consistent in countering them through therapy such as CBT, then the nightmares will lessen considerably.

It's a long haul, my friend. Please stay on the path though, it is the right one.

Thank you. Although the nightmare is powerful and disturbing I am able to cope with it. However, this new twist of acting out, the physical grabbing of my wife, no memory of a dream or her actions to get me to let go are frightening. I thought she was joking with me at first but I have done it 3 times now in the past 10 days; grabbing her hands or shoulders and screaming at her, swearing violently. She says that I sound like a demon and cannot really understand what I am saying other than the swearing.
I did check into post deployment health yesterday and have an appoinment with a psychologist on the 7th.

[Shelle]

Originally Posted by panzerman

I have progressed from a recurring, specific, very articulate nightmare of an event that never occured in my 3 tours to Iraq ( I even wrote it down because it was so vivid and the emotions so strong) to dreams that I cannot remember but cause me to either speak in a horrible tone; yelling, swearing, and screaming at something or dreams that I cannot recall but my wife has had to hit me to get me to let go of her hands. This latest bit of information my wife just gave me this evening as she took a break from work. I am EXTREMELY concerned and intend on seeking medical help tomorrow thorugh the military. Up to this point I simply thought that I was going through a bit of PTSD and that it would work itself out but the fact that I am grabbing and squeezing her hands , causing pain for her, frightens me. I feel horrible to even wirte this but feel I should.....

Im sorry about your nightmares, thank you for the service you gave to our country.

[wickedwings]

I hope you can get tested for any sleep disorders, as well. I've heard that acting out while sleeping and, possibly dreaming, can be due to a sleep disorder. I'm glad you're seeking out for help. I thank you for your service to the country.

[possum220]

Dear Panzerman,

I am pleased to hear that you are seeing a psychologist. Hope it helps you to get things out in the open.

Possum

[panzerman]

Originally Posted by Shelle

Im sorry about your nightmares, thank you for the service you gave to our country.

Both you and wicked wings are quite welcome, I appreciate the thanks but none needed it is my honor and priveldge to serve in the US military.

Talking alot the last couple nights during my sleep (unintelligable according to my wife) but no screaming rage about something (s) and no grabbing my wife. Have an appointment with the psychologist on APril 7.

[WMcW2]

My problem is I have been having nightmare all of my life.Specifically the same nightmare over and over.What I find very out of the ordinary is that I have two kids(now grown up) who are having the same nightmares that I have.All of which have been there for as long as I can remember.How is that possible?