Subconscious message suggesting suicide?

To really explain this dream I need to explain who a few people are.

Myra: My grandmother, now deceased. She was never nice to me. Verbally abusive.
Jackie, my best friend's mom: Like a 2nd mother to me. She invited me to live in her home because of my current life situation and then abruptly decided that she couldn't handle mental issues and sent me on a greyhound back to my parents.
My mother: Disabled. Addicted to strong drugs for her pain. Hears things. Very angry person.

Anyway, it started with me inside Myra's house, which happened to be a huge, decrepit mansion with many rooms. I was there with my best friend Laura for a reason I can't describe, and we were exploring. A woman that shifted between my moher, Jackie and Myra was the only other person we lived with.

We discovered a room filled with books on topics that we really enjoy and started to go through them, when Myra/Jackie/Mom came in and yelled at us to not touch anything.

Saddened by this, we kept exploring. We tried hard to find those interesting books again but we found nothing...only a hidden door that led into a strange chamber. In the center was some sort of device. I pressed the switch and the ground opened up, a pedastal rising with great white light surrounding it. The light was so attractive as to want me to reach out and touch it, but I didn't.

As I pressed the switch again to close the device, the light faded. A household pet jumped down into it as it closed, and before we could rescue it it was too late. The lid had shut and somehow we knew that the animal died a peaceful, painless death.

To inspect the situation, I pressed the switch again and opened up the marvelous glowing cavern, the pedastal rising as if it wanted me to climb aboard.

Thats when I woke up.

No, this sounds nothing like suicide.

The house is both a representation of your physical/emotional being, as well as your current life situation. t's decrepit, and the prime factor for this is the antagonist of Myra/Mother/Jackie. It's almost as if you're searching yourself for some hidden understanding. But the antagonist/s is keeping you from being able to get to the bottom of things. Speaking of, did the chamber go up or down or just deeper within? If it's up it represents into your mind/spirit. If it's down, it's literally "to the cottom of things", or to the root cause of where you are. If it's to the center of the house, it's to the core of your being...closer to your "true and complete" self.

Laura is the part of yourself that you relate to her positive traits. Think of her as your guide, giving you access to the good things you see in her and in yourself. Realize that the good things you see in her, regardless of is you see them in you, ARE in you as well. Projection, which we often read as relating to negatives, works just as much on positives. Realize your strengths and go with them.

Inside this chamber, you find a button that opens a glowing white pedestal. You want to lift yourself up...put yourself on this pedestal. You want the peace. The hosue pet (which is the primitive and cross gender part of you, by the way) dies...but it dies as the pedestal is being lowered back down. This doesn't mean that going on the pedestal is going to kill you, it means allowing the pedestal to remain hidden will. It sounds to me more like your subconscious is calling you toward self-empowerment.

A final note here :: All characters are you, so the antagonist is also you. This needs to be addressed...

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Questions to consider...

-What traits do you see in Myra that you also see in yourself? Are they negative or positive?
-What traits in Myra are striking to you, regardless of if you see them in yourself?

-Apply these first questions to your Mother and to Jackie as well.

-In what ways do you portray the negative traits in the antagonists?
-In what ways can you make an effort to avoiding doing so in the future?

-What strengths, self-perceived or not, do you see in Laura?
-How can you portray these strengths in yourself?
-In what ways have you already shown these strengths?

-What is it that you seek within yourself?
-How do your mother, Myra, and Jackie prevent you from achieving this discovery?

~~Realize that this is a self-discovery, so any obstacles others put before you are all in your head. This is nothing physical at all, else it would not be so hard wired into the dream.~~

-In what ways can you take pride in your strengths and show yourself as the person you want to be?

First off, I'm going to have to say that that was a very amazing interpretation. It rings truth and I'm going to reflect on those questions a lot tonight.

As for the pedastal, it only went down. So what it really means is that I need to get to the root cause of my current situation, which is something I think about every single day. I know the cause (or at least I think I do) and the chore is to figure out how to fix it.

It says you have "Hugs given". How do I send one because I think you deserve it.

Edit: Its been figured out

lol thank you

Tiamat, what an interesting dream, thank you for sharing it. I was struck by the "transition" images. If this were my dream, here's what I'd think:

I start with Myra, my grandmother and being in her decrepit manor (the family I was born into) and move through it with my "sister"/twin/guide/best friend Laura into a room of books I enjoy and am trying to explore only to have the Mother/Jackie/Myra (did you notice the order you put them in?) tell me not to touch. I almost got out of the problems with my birth family and away from my sick mother when I moved in with Jackie (I assume Laura's mother?) but that was not to be. I am sent home where the knowledge in the books are not/can't be found but then, "within a secret chamber" (that would be one's self) I find a pedestal device rising up with a white light.

I am reminded of being "put on a pedestal", as one site says, being made a "paragon of the ideal, but not the real" (http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_b...ages/1065.html) but then you say you reached out to the white light (rather than the pedestal). White light means "healing" to me. That the dog, (I like medkev's "primitive" part of you interpretation) was taken by the light and you resisted being "put on the pedestal" also seems good to me.

If it were my dream, I'd feel I was free of Myra and my mother's influence and of any residual disappointment or hurt from Jackie. I would feel healed of some of my past which I would feel had been holding me back. I might be grateful though, that my mother/Jackie/Myra figure had kept me from further exploring the books; books are "dead" and not as good as the white light; if I had been allowed to stay with the books, I might not have discovered the secret chamber?

Thank you for the alternate meaning for the house Perna. I hadn't considered it being dual for the family as well, though do consider that one of the three antagonists is -not- blood family, so "being born into it" doesn't apply so much. The secret chamber as one's self, though - dead on ^_^ :: am noting that down for later use in interpretations ::