[InTheShadows]

Hi all,

I've known for a long time that my father was taken to prison when we were young. I don't know why the memory has suddenly resurfaced but it has. That fateful day when we were two years old, sitting on our daddy's lap while he read us a book. Police burst in guns drawn, took me off his lap, and took our daddy out of our lives for over twenty years. Somewhere inside me, I am still waiting by that window for him to come back and finish reading me that book. I can't quite make myself understand that he's not coming back. Even if 'he' the person comes back, he's not the same person who was taken away. But, I think that is a large part of our sleep issues.

That little girl doesn't want to go to sleep because she thinks if we go to sleep and he comes back while we're sleeping that he will think we don't love him or care anymore. Then he will leave and we'll never see him again. How do I convince that part of myself that it's okay to sleep, and that if he came back while we were sleeping he would kiss our forehead and sing softly to us enjoying the ability to watch over us again.

Any ideas??

Shady

[medkev13]

Therapy. I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, but it's a very VERY heavy bit of trauma. If it wasn't you wouldn't have repressed the memory for so long. You seem to know just what it is you need, and why it's so hard to get to sleep. Talking to a therapist would be the next step...and they would know what to do to go about getting you to that place of acceptance and peace.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry for your loss. The loss of the man you once knew as your father can be so deep....so entrenched within us. (( I never knew mine until just 4 years ago. Never knew how much I had missed out on. )) My thoughts are with you, Shady.

[Onward2wards]

All I can say is I agree with MedKev. That's a major trauma especially at that age, to have a critical relationship disrupted out of the blue.

[googley]

((((((((((shadows))))))))))))

Maybe let that part write a letter or draw a picture saying how she is feeling about what happened? Not just that your dad is gone, but also about what it was like when the police came. This could be something done with a therapist if you have one. (I can't remember if you have one right now).

[Amazonmom]

I'm so sorry that happened, little children remember this stuff forever. I really think working with a T to help yourself realize it's ok to sleep is the best thing. I wish I could make it better.

Hugs to my good PC friend

[margthemermaid]

[Hi Shadows,
It's very sad... So many bad things happen in the life... but people go thru allot but they are still themselves... Life can change them but they still possess that spirit of holding the little girls ... yes it is still in there only more experienced and more knowing... yes, there are things we don't want to know but don't be afraid... you can pick and choose what you want to make yours...
is your dad still alive? do you think he is visiting you spiritually... Sometimes my dad would visit me spiritually and give me TERRIBLE insomnia and I had to yell at him and tell him that maybe he didn't have a body right now but I did and this keeping me awake was doing me in!!! And to please stop keeping me awake... A nd you know what... he stopped.....
I think he'll know you love him...I think he always knew. Do you have any kids? quote=InTheShadows;2545365]Hi all,

I've known for a long time that my father was taken to prison when we were young. I don't know why the memory has suddenly resurfaced but it has. That fateful day when we were two years old, sitting on our daddy's lap while he read us a book. Police burst in guns drawn, took me off his lap, and took our daddy out of our lives for over twenty years. Somewhere inside me, I am still waiting by that window for him to come back and finish reading me that book. I can't quite make myself understand that he's not coming back. Even if 'he' the person comes back, he's not the same person who was taken away. But, I think that is a large part of our sleep issues.

That little girl doesn't want to go to sleep because she thinks if we go to sleep and he comes back while we're sleeping that he will think we don't love him or care anymore. Then he will leave and we'll never see him again. How do I convince that part of myself that it's okay to sleep, and that if he came back while we were sleeping he would kiss our forehead and sing softly to us enjoying the ability to watch over us again.

Any ideas??

Shady[/quote]

[medkev13]

Spiritual visits tend to not rely on memories, save for the image of how you remember the person...