[exarch]

Hi everyone

I was tempted to post this because during the last 3 years I keep having this recurring dream that appeared about 10-15 times and I feel the need to find out what it means. But first I must give the background story that would help with interpreting the dream.

Where I used to work 4 years ago I fell in love with a co-worker the moment I saw her. During the first months our relationship was confined strictly to professional matters but slowly we opened up to each other. Then at some point we did build a rapport but it was nothing definitive enough. But the problem was that no matter how much I wanted her, the "reasonable" part of myself was telling me that I should not get involved because she seemed to be a really dangerous woman that would lead me to much trouble in my life if I got involved with her. She had a volatile, aggressive, often sarcastic character that I thought was too much for me - though at the same time I celebrated these traits as part of her allure. I also felt that I wasn't good enough to be with such an attractive woman. So, in the midst of a terrible conflict within myself, I became increasingly cold and distant and one day I quit my job only because I wanted to be away from her and forget her. Which of course I haven't since I still love her and think about her and I regret my decision ever since. It has caused me depression and problems with moving forward with my life.

So here's the dream:

Common theme in most dreams I remember where this woman features is that I go back where I used to work with her, sometimes we share the same office (like it was in real life) , sometimes we are in different parts of the building, but nothing extraordinary seems to happen, we do not speak or if we speak it's only about trivial work-related matters. There is no resolution or any kind of romantic and intimate approach in the dream.

What bothers me the most all this time is that there was no closure between us and that I never found out how she really felt about me. Could the dream be hinting at that or something related to it? I really want to find out because I know that a dream that persists - especially one showing up so many times - is really important and will keep coming back if we do not pay heed and act according to what is trying to tell us.

[medkev13]

First, the dream is not so much about her as it is about how you feel. Taht your old work, and her, feature in the dream is simply because your subconsciosu finds the memory of both easiest to relate to your problem. You said yourself that the descision you made has kept you form moving forward in life. I think the dream is presenting the whole image as a dance of sorts. It's a cold hearted sort of tango, where you are dancing effectively with yourself, but never really approaching the problem....the root of your stagnancy...head on. Instead you dance around the issue, bantering lightly at it and skirting the possibility of discovering what about the whole even truly led to your emotional conundrum.

Your dream is challenging you to face the depression head on. It's a calling to get past the superficial part of it and dig into what is really keeping you in your rut. Most of all, the dream is a mirror held up to your own self, as you shuffle around trying to avoid the issue. "See," it says, "You can't get any progress when you're dancing like that."

[exarch]

Thank you very much medkev13. Your analysis makes much sense and you make it sound so simple that it makes me wonder how could I have missed it all this time.

So the problem is that I dwell on it too much in a sterile manner that leads nowhere, with no real insight and understanding about the situation that would help me go on with my life, and this predicament is symbolized in the dream by being around this woman without having any substantial and meaningful relation with her or a resolution that would clear things up.

[exarch]

Could this dream that I had yesterday point to something less vague and more specific?

I was again with this woman. This time we weren't in the workplace, it seemed like a holiday resort or something and I was trying to flirt with her but, although she was somewhat responsive and flirted back with me, she wasn't interested in proceeding further to a relationship. Then I thought what could I do to make her like me more and I realized that she liked watches and another kind of jewelry that I can't remember exactly what it was, and that she had a big collection of those. So I thought that if I could buy her a really nice watch and a nice piece of this jewelry she would be impressed and could finally agree to enter to a relationship with me.

I also had the following dream the same night:

I'm making many attempts to study many subjects with no success and then I finally I decide to study medicine and become a doctor. The response to this decision from the people around me was that they were very surprised and somewhat discouraging because they believed that I had no inclination for it.

[medkev13]

:: laughing :: Third party makes some things so.....simple to see. Okay, so there's still this theme of a romance. In fact, I think loving and being loved is probably the very thing your subconscious is trying to point your attention to. There's an old addage, though...and it fits perfectly here. "In order for you to love others, you must first love yourself."

In psychology there is a belief that how we interact with others is based wuite a bit on the projections we subconsciously apply to other people. We dislike others because we see the things within ourselves that we detest, and we like others because we see our best traits in them. So I have to ask - what traits in this woman do you place a high value on, and what of them do you have within yourself? You may not think it so, but the clue is if other people have acknowledged these traits to be there. This is a dream about self love...about the relationship you have with yourself, and the connection you have with the female part of your personality. So you look into something she likes...as you look at yourself...and you consider what it will take to get her to love you. A closer look shows that you are evading the task of loving one's self by putting your focus on things...on time. Are you putting showing yourself affection because you don't have enough time in the day? More importantly, your dream shows that you are trying to be in a place where the world is effecting you, instead of you effecting it ("making -her- love -me-"), when in reality the only thing you have control over is yourself. The irony is that you need to be opening yourself up to loving yourself. That means you have to be the one making the effect.

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Most might call this a surface dream, reflecting that you are trying our different interests, and are afraid of losing support over the changes. I challenge that, though. I think it's less about what interests you, and more about who you want to be as a person. Others might be thinking that you're not doing it for yourself, and that's a fear that could be valid in the dream. This is simply your subconscious asking "Who do I want to be?"