[webvigator2k]

This can be a bit of a lengthy story, so I'll do my best to keep it short. I'm currently 29 and my ex an I split up nearly 3 years ago after a year and a half together. I honestly believed she was the one and was close to proposing after about a year, which is when things started to go south. Her parents had a lot to do with our breakup. Mind you, I'm clean cut, educated, have a career, my own place, not abusive (if anything was too good to her), etc. She found someone about 6 months after we broke up and I found out about it nearly 2 years ago and I feel into a massive depression since. As far as I can tell, they're still together and are likely engaged, possibly even getting married soon (I don't want to know for sure because the truth could destroy me). I emailed her last year in an attempt to get back with her and she rejected me and told me how happy she was in her relationship with this guy. I still to this date feel like it was a mistake letting her go, even though she treated me less than great the last few months we were together and was the one who initiated the breakup. I just feel like she got everything she wanted since and I've been on a rough path since (which it has been for me in my life for the past few years).

Since then, I've actively tried to date around have found a string of one or two month relationships before they don't work out. Nothing like the love and relationship that I had with my ex. I keep having nightmares my ex several times a week. It's horrible. A lot of times it's her telling me how she's so happy with this other guy, how I was a mistake, and stuff along those lines...they're never happy dreams like us being together. I feel so tormented by this and wish it would stop. Why in god's name can't I get over this woman? Why do I keep having these nightmares?

[medkev13]

We like (and dislike) people thanks to projection. That is, when we see traits about a person that we value highly within ourselves, we like then; and when we see things in a person we have distaste for within ourselves,we dislike them. Since you see the breakup as you letting go of your ex, your subconscious translated that to you letting go of the same traits in yourself. This is a two-fold mourning, in that it's also reflecting on you letting go of who you were when you were still with your ex.

And on a second level, it's your subconscious facing a fear that you wouldn't be able to handle in the waking world.