I don't often dream (or at least I don't remember them), but of the dreams I remember, they are almost always about sex to the extreme. It's almost like watching porn at times, and it seems like I'm having sex with anyone and everyone. That isn't me in my waking hours at all. Are these dreams trying to make up for what I'm losing being celibate or my mind trying to "normalize" these thoughts (make sex seem less gross)? Or is it because that's what on my mind when I go to sleep or because I obsess about it when I'm awake? Is it normal to only dream about one thing?

[hiddeng3nius]

If you don't minde me asking, aside from you celibacy, is there anything else sexually you are repressing?

Maybe what gender I'm interested in? Or maybe I'm interested in both...I'm so confused that I don't think I'll ever figure it out.

[hiddeng3nius]

Hmm, is there a specific reason why you are celibate (if you don't mind me asking)? You don't have to get into details too much. I've always associated extreme sex with some type of sexual repression especially in your case where you are dreaming of being the opposite of what you are in person.

It's hard to explain completely. I guess it's mostly because there is no one interested in me in that way (ever) so it feels better to be "celibate" so at least it seems as though I'm in control and it's not just because I'm not attractive.

[hiddeng3nius]

I understand what you are saying. It's kind of like a "before someone can use my looks against me, I'll tell them it's my choice to be celibate" kind of thing, right? So are you really celibate by choice or by circumstance? Maybe your subconscious is telling you that you are lying to yourself. Not that you are a raging sexaholic but that celibacy isn't really your ideal choice.

No, it's not really my ideal choice, but it seems like the only choice. I think the only way for me not to be celibate is if I went out to a bar or something and had sex with anyone who showed interest. And that's not a sure shot either. It's unlikely anyone would show interest. So I guess it's true that I'm celibate by circumstance rather than by actual choice.

[hiddeng3nius]

I wish I can give you way more hugs by the way.

I just wish there were actual answers too. I've been waiting for years and years. Maybe everyone just sees me as ugly inside and out?

[hiddeng3nius]

No one knows you enough to determine how ugly you are on the inside. And looks are relative. I don't fit society's ideal either but there are way more of us "average/ugly" looking people than there are the Hollywood beauties people have grown to fawn over. I've seen people who looks much worse who still manages to find love. Maybe it's a subconscious vibe we give off that makes us seem undesirable.

[Perna]

If we have thoughts, questions, or issues about something, we dream about it to help us get more clarity. Too, sex is very physical, something our body is very interested in, libido having a lot to do with our overall energy, etc. If one is suppressing that, it has to come out in some way, we cannot truly "control" or emotional/thinking/body systems. Our bodies and "selves" have minds of their own and are doing their best to protect us, despite our own "personal" hang ups, handicaps, or brain-only decisions. Think of the "phantom limb" phenomenon, for example. Sounds like you are more-or-less engaging in a phantom sex phenomenon in trying to control that area of your life.