[Lizabelle]

I have a lot of strange dreams, but I try not to think about them a lot (as they usually are nightmares). However, there's one that's been bugging me a lot lately that I had about a week ago. Especially the fact that I woke up wanting it to be true. I think about it now and still feel remnants of that, even though I know that's sick. Anyways, here's how it went:

I was in a hospital, in a private ICU-ish room. I couldn't walk around much, because I would get dizzy and fall over. Eventually, I made my way to a "playroom" where there were other children my age and younger. I got the sense that it was a mental hospital, but also a regular one, somehow.

Somehow I ended up outside, having a nurse or some lady high up in the trees with us, stepping around branches and climbing higher and higher. All I wanted to do was fall backwards into the huge pile of leaves that I just *knew* was below us (it was a REALLY big tree). I did end up falling, and that was really scary. I don't remember landing in the leaves, but when I woke up, I just kept turning around and around in the pile of leaves. It was never deep enough, for some reason. I eventually figured out that the leaves wouldn't get scattered (and would then feel deeper) if I just laid there, so I did. I just laid face-first in the leaves before I became unconscious (in the dream).

I woke up in a bit of a daze in the "playroom", where this older-man psychiatrist (?) was handing out these sheets of paper to everyone in the room (all the kids). It was where we had to write the letters of the alphabet out, like "AA, BB, CC, DD, ect..." with a crayon. I felt like it was stupid, but tried a little at first anyways. I ended up just drifting back to my room. (Or ending up there somehow, I'm not sure.)

This is the scariest part for me. I went back to my room and was packing up everything (I think I was being moved to a regular room later) and this man came up behind me and raped me. I don't remember details of it, or what he looked like other than being tall and wiry. (This is one of the reasons why it's so horrendous for me to wake up wanting the dream to be real O.O)

Somehow I ended up back in the playroom. I looked down and I saw my alphabet paper. The doctor had checked only one box at the bottom (like what the alphabet paper shows about us or something). For mine, he had checked "Other" and wrote "Sometimes shows signs of extreme stubbornness." I got mad or something and tried to finish the alphabet paper, but it was really hard because my hands were shaky and didn't want to move. It was lined paper, and I ended up using a bunch of sheets because I wrote "D" at the top line, then the other "D" on the last line of the paper (but in the same spot below the 1st one), and the same on for all of the other letters.

Then I saw my dad and all I could think when he looked at me was the he thought I was faking everything about this. And I started to wonder if I was faking it. I didn't think so, but I couldn't be sure after he looked at me.

That's it. Anyone have any clue???

[Eyes of Blue]

The dream indicates a situation in which you are using a point of view focused upon the idea of being critically ill, (in ICU-ish room) but within the context of the situation being one in which a cure can be found for whatever ails you. (in a hospital) There appears to be little emotional support from within yourself for the idea of being critically ill. (a private room) People usually get “dizzy” going round and round. You are unable to make much progress (couldn’t walk around much) because of your impression of dealing with a repeating cycle where being very ill is concerned and there is a failing in this impression. (get dizzy and fall over) You eventually get into using a point of view that would not take being so very ill seriously. (made my way to a "playroom") The playroom in the hospital might also suggest the idea of playing at being ill.When doing this you are functioning very innocently (as a child) – meaning also lacking in knowledge or naïve. With this mental attitude in mind you have emotional support from within yourself. But some of this support may come from aspects of yourself that lack even more knowledge than you see yourself as having. (with children my age and younger). [Note that if you are older than you see yourself in the dream the idea of thinking with less than the adult knowledge you should have would be emphasized.] You have the perception that what ails you is specifically mental in nature but this may not be so. (sense that it was a mental hospital, but also a regular one, somehow)

Looking at things realistically (outside) you have a feeling of being able to look after yourself but you might instead simply be using a feeling that has quality but not this expertise. (have a nurse or some lady with us) You see yourself using knowledge found at a high level of intelligence (high up in the trees) when taking steps based upon various branches of knowledge but the appearance of making gains can reflect some foolishness. [because climbing around branches is a very monkey-like climb. Do you try out a number of different methods of treatment?] The impressiveness of the knowledge being dealt with can be slightly exaggerated here. (a REALLY big tree) You may be setting yourself up for a fall or failing. In your position, all you want to do is fall backwards. This could suggest simply letting go or ceasing the effort to make gains or achieve success.

The idea you are aware of as having acquired more significance is the idea of “leaving” or quitting. (huge pile of leaves) This might include the idea of dying. You seem to be justifying the idea of quitting in the climb towards success upon the idea of “leaving” or dying which you seem to “know” is waiting for you if you fail. (pile of leaves that I just *knew* was below) But, ending up failing and dying is really scary. (did end up falling, and that was really scary) When you stop imagining failing and dying (when I woke up) you do not rest at ease (turning around and around) with the idea of leaving or dying because the idea does not have the depth or quality your reasoning requires. (pile was never deep enough, for some reason) You “take it lying down” - just accept failing and dying – but in a way that you cannot “face the Lord” (just laid face-first in the leaves) Note that things are not looking up for you when you “take it lying down” and you lose all awareness. (became unconscious)

When more aware (woke up) but still not thinking clearly (in a bit of a daze) you are back to using a point of view in which some idea – perhaps the idea of a psychiatrist is not being taken seriously. (in playroom.. with a psychiatrist?) As this is an “older” male psychiatrist, the idea of a psychiatrist seems to be one deserving to be honoured or respected but this may be questionable. (psychiatrist (?)) Using the idea of a psychiatrist, you are giving the innocent, more ignorant aspect of yourself some theory. (handing out sheets of paper to all the kids) Writing out the letters of the alphabet can imply starting at the beginning – perhaps implying before life’s events altered your life - or learning the basics first. The ABC’s can also refer to looking at one’s character. Using the psychiatrist’s perspective you are required to do this in a negative manner (AA,BB,CC) and with a crayon, i.e. by emotionally colouring the events, the basics or your character. While you try this out, you see no intelligence in it (I felt like it was stupid) and drift back to using your own way of thinking. “Drifting” back tends to suggest functioning like “a drifter”, changing your thinking according to the trends of the day in a way that is purposeless. But, you may not need to be so certain of acting this way. (ending up there somehow, I'm not sure)

When you are ready to “pack it in” – to quit using a point of view pertaining to being critically ill – and change your way of thinking about your state of illness an idea from the past – one that seems to reflect the ideal way to think about this issue (man is tall) - starts to use and abuse you. (came up behind me and raped me) In other words, your mind is giving you an idea pertaining to your state of illness that does not respect your real inner feelings about this issue. This is why it would be so horrendous when you come to a state of greater awareness (wake up) to want such a rape or abuse to be part of your reality.

Going back again to using a mental attitude in which things need not be taken seriously, you find that the psychiatrist has come to some conclusion based upon the character or characteristics you have revealed to him (like what the alphabet paper shows about us) but it might be based on something else. (or something) Thinking as a psychiatrist you might put a check on – put some restrain upon – the idea of going back to square one. (The doctor had checked only one box) Selecting the word “Other” in this case can suggest something is “other than” the choices that are usually given. The psychiatrist having written, "Sometimes shows signs of extreme stubbornness", would suggest his conclusion is his own personal one – one not on the list of standard choices or conclusions. This can annoy you. (I got mad) By wanting to finish the alphabet paper, it can implied that there are more aspects to your character than you have so far revealed. You find it difficult to act to reveal more out of nervousness. (my hands were shaky and didn't want to move)

The lined paper being used indicates that the theory upon which your character is to be assessed is such that it follows the line or the rules used by a psychiatrist. Placing one “D” at the top of the page and one “D” in line with it but at the bottom, would suggest the idea of using columns and that when presenting your character you are placing your character in a specific category. One “D” at the top and one at the bottom of the page can imply that the same characteristic can be seen as having both a high as well as a low aspect to it, in other words, there can be both a more and a less intelligent view of the characteristic. The same applies to all the characteristics you may exhibit. Placing only one letter of the alphabet on each page would emphasize seeing each aspect of your character or characteristics positively.

When you look at yourself with from a perspective coming of a way of thinking that should be for your own protection (dad), you might think that you are not being truthful about your state of health. [This might relate to the rape scene in that your thinking is not really honouring your real feelings.] You could start to wonder about this and although you do not think you are being untruthful you might not be so certain after looking at yourself. [Is your way of thinking about the state you are in really protecting you? Does it give you any benefits?]

[(JD)]

It sounds to me as though you have found someone, a therapist, whom you trust and now are allowing some of the memories of being young to emerge... you feel safe with the T?

[Thunder Bow]

You are probably hard to reach at an emotional level (the heart). There may be some repressed memories concerning your Father.

You may yearn for the past, yet you are climbing higher into the upper parts of the tree (personal growth).

The doctors and nurses represent your wiser self that you are not yet fully expressing.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Lizabelle

I have a lot of strange dreams, but I try not to think about them a lot (as they usually are nightmares). However, there's one that's been bugging me a lot lately that I had about a week ago. Especially the fact that I woke up wanting it to be true. I think about it now and still feel remnants of that, even though I know that's sick. Anyways, here's how it went:

I was in a hospital, in a private ICU-ish room. I couldn't walk around much, because I would get dizzy and fall over. Eventually, I made my way to a "playroom" where there were other children my age and younger. I got the sense that it was a mental hospital, but also a regular one, somehow.

Somehow I ended up outside, having a nurse or some lady high up in the trees with us, stepping around branches and climbing higher and higher. All I wanted to do was fall backwards into the huge pile of leaves that I just *knew* was below us (it was a REALLY big tree). I did end up falling, and that was really scary. I don't remember landing in the leaves, but when I woke up, I just kept turning around and around in the pile of leaves. It was never deep enough, for some reason. I eventually figured out that the leaves wouldn't get scattered (and would then feel deeper) if I just laid there, so I did. I just laid face-first in the leaves before I became unconscious (in the dream).

I woke up in a bit of a daze in the "playroom", where this older-man psychiatrist (?) was handing out these sheets of paper to everyone in the room (all the kids). It was where we had to write the letters of the alphabet out, like "AA, BB, CC, DD, ect..." with a crayon. I felt like it was stupid, but tried a little at first anyways. I ended up just drifting back to my room. (Or ending up there somehow, I'm not sure.)

This is the scariest part for me. I went back to my room and was packing up everything (I think I was being moved to a regular room later) and this man came up behind me and raped me. I don't remember details of it, or what he looked like other than being tall and wiry. (This is one of the reasons why it's so horrendous for me to wake up wanting the dream to be real O.O)

Somehow I ended up back in the playroom. I looked down and I saw my alphabet paper. The doctor had checked only one box at the bottom (like what the alphabet paper shows about us or something). For mine, he had checked "Other" and wrote "Sometimes shows signs of extreme stubbornness." I got mad or something and tried to finish the alphabet paper, but it was really hard because my hands were shaky and didn't want to move. It was lined paper, and I ended up using a bunch of sheets because I wrote "D" at the top line, then the other "D" on the last line of the paper (but in the same spot below the 1st one), and the same on for all of the other letters.

Then I saw my dad and all I could think when he looked at me was the he thought I was faking everything about this. And I started to wonder if I was faking it. I didn't think so, but I couldn't be sure after he looked at me.

That's it. Anyone have any clue???

Dream interpretation is subjective. what that means is that they come from our own experiences, fears, phobias, emotions, ....

so the only people that can truly interpert a dream accurately is the person doing the dreaming.

example one night I dreamed I was sitting on a rainbow...

my therapist said maybe that means Im happy...
my wife said maybe you are going to hit a jackpot...
my womens group said well they call being a lesbian being a rainbow population...

the reality of this dream...

my experiences around a rainbow of color...my wife and I have been discussing what colors to paint/paper the nursery.

my thoughts as I fell asleep that night that revolve around a rainbow of colors is that I cant decide on one color, maybe its better to do a lot of different colors, not just blue or pink themed room.

my final interpretation...my mind interpreted that discussion and thoughts and smashed them together into a dream.

my dream had nothing to do with being a lesbian or getting some money or my mood.

only you can interpret your own dreams, sometimes a therapist can help you look at your life and problems and associate your dreams to things in your life, but only you know for sure what your dreams mean.

[Lizabelle]

EyesofBlue- WOW. A lot of that made sense, and some of it didn't.

JD- XD No, I have no T. I have a humongous fear and distrust of Ts and psychs.

ThunderBow- Same as EyesofBlue. I do have a lot of unresolved issues with my dad, though. I *know* that.

Amandalouise- *sigh* I know. The only thing is that I tend to over-analyze everything, and drive myself into circles trying to figure out what's true and real. I kind of tried to shove off that responsibility by asking it here XD

Thanks to all of you (: