[dogzrule]

There is a really long back story to all of this, so I will sum it up as quickly as I can. I tried to commit suicide after having a horrible relationship for 6 months. The attempt came a week after my boyfriend beat me up pretty badly. After I was realized from the hospital (both the regular hospital and mental hospital), he told me he wouldn't care if I would have died. I tried to break up with him, probably 5 times, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I finally did after he grabbed me on the street at 3am and wouldn't let go - luckily some cops saw him and he got arrested (after battery on an officer!).

Anyway, I'm in a much better place now and haven't spoken to him since that night. I told his family about everything that happened - he needs help and they're the only ones that will be able to help him. I told them that if he ever came near me again I would tell the police everything and get a restraining order. I really don't think he's going to try to do anything, but I keep having these dreams where he's trying to kill me. Last night was the most vivid.

He was chasing me and I went to my apartment, he followed me there. My upstairs neighbor heard him and came to help me - he said he had heard him beat me up months earlier. My ex was so enraged he pulled out a gun and pointed it at me. My neighbor tried to tackle him, but was shot in the process. Somehow I managed to get the gun away from him, but then he pulled out a knife. I woke up right as the knife was coming for my throat and I was about to get stabbed.

I felt like it was really happening. I was terrified - when I woke up, I couldn't get back to sleep for an hour.

Does anyone have any insight into what all this means? I will probably ask my therapist at next week's session too.

(I also posted this in the depression forum because I thought it would be interesting to hear different opinions.)

Thanks for any help!

[Leed]

Personally, I think you're just reliving the trauma of what happened before, only you're adding to it because of PTSD that you MAY have. Now maybe that's all nonsense, but I do feel it has to do with what happened before.

I really do think you need to put a restraining order on him. Who's to say if he'll come around again and try something? He very well might, especially if he drinks!

You MAY need therapy. Talk with your doctor about it and see what he thinks. If he thinks you DO have PTSD, then he can refer you to a good therapist. I wish you all the best -- please take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[avlady]

I had an ex that beat the crap out of me too. Luckily someone was diving by and saw the whole thing and got out of his car and beat the crap out of my ex. That was how I got away. Before he beat me I was always walking on eggshells as he had also tried to slit my throat in his parent's apartment when they weren't home. That was when I thought I had to get away, but I was trying to do it slowly and carefully so he wouldn't be hurt and try anything else.When he put the butcher knife towards my neck I had to say I love you so he wouldn't push it in my neck anymore. There were also several other incidents, too many to mention. I lived close to his house and couldn't get away from him, I don't even remember how I got rid of him, but I remember passing the church where he was being married at the same time I was walking by. BOY WAS I EVER HAPPY!!!I had tried to get him to stay away, and he must have understood it and got a new girlfriend. Well that's my story, it's true, but Unbelievable but it is true.

[dogzrule]

Thanks for the replies. I am currently in therapy and it has been really helpful. I had another dream last night, it wasn't quite as vivid, but I was running away from him and he kept following me. I hope the dreams are only related to what has happened and not what could be coming... I am still deciding about what to do about the restraining order.

[Meisjes]

hi dogzrule, I had dreams pretty much like yours for a while after I left my abusive ex. He often threatened to hurt/kill people. He never killed anyone but it had damaged my ability to feel safe. Also had a restraining order on him. the dreams turned out to be nothing but nightmares in the aftermath of abuse. I learned to direct my dreams while dreaming by telling myself what to do - basically telling myself in the dream repeatedly that these things were not real, it is just a dream. Eventually the dreams stopped, also had had therapy. I think a lot of abuse victims experience these kinds of dreams. Try not to let them get to you. Take caution to be safe but also try to relax. Document everything that happens concerning ex uin real life and then try to distract yourself with other activities. It does seem like you are reliving the experiences and with time it will get easier.