[xiuxiu]

I hadn't slept in 26 hours. I finally got to sleep by 2:30am, but I woke up two hours later from a horrible dream. As an adult I don't usually remember my nightmares, but they happened on a daily basis as a child and frequently as a teenager. If I do have nightmares I will only remember that they were terrifying, and I will have sleep paralysis with hallucinations of residual dream imagery.

Anyway, in this one I was with a man in a wheelchair. We were in his backyard at night, and we were about to celebrate something. It was a little strange. His daughter was there. She was very nice. He was paralyzed aside from his arms, and he couldn't feel anything. When I touched him I felt pins and needles beginning from my hand up to the rest of my arm. He said he could only feel in his left leg, and I was so sad I rested my head there.

There was an intruder who came in through the fence. Somehow we all ended up on the back porch by then. I realized that the other girl wasn't there anymore, because I had become her. I was actually his daughter. The intruder shot me square in the chest, which is more pain than I've ever felt in waking life (this seems to be the case when I am shot or stabbed in dreams). It felt like my chest had been set on fire. At the same time it was like drowning. I slowly could no longer breathe, and I felt myself fading away. I woke up right before I reached the point of "death".

The first thought I had upon waking was, "I am so hurt." This wasn't in reference to physical pain in the dream though. I mean emotionally in my life. It is confusing and I don't know where that came from. It's not something I've ever said or thought before. It's like how I've only started feeling "empty" this past year. I never even knew what that felt like until now.

I have therapy in 6.5 hours...I suppose I'll just stall until then.

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible night. Have you started a new AD? I feel like the elements of being paralyzed and being in pain could symbolize an overwhelming situation in your real life that makes you feel helpless. Is there anything going on right now where you are having problems dealing with? I hope you can at least rest for the next 6.5h. Are you going to discuss the dream with your therapist? It sounds like a good idea to discuss your feelings about being hurt with your therapist and explore different possibilities as to what it could refer to. Hope he/she can help you a bit. take care

[xiuxiu]

Originally Posted by chocmouse

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible night. Have you started a new AD? I feel like the elements of being paralyzed and being in pain could symbolize an overwhelming situation in your real life that makes you feel helpless. Is there anything going on right now where you are having problems dealing with? I hope you can at least rest for the next 6.5h. Are you going to discuss the dream with your therapist? It sounds like a good idea to discuss your feelings about being hurt with your therapist and explore different possibilities as to what it could refer to. Hope he/she can help you a bit. take care

I've only recently learned that I have PTSD, and I had multiple triggers earlier in the day. I am not usually triggered, so that is a new experience for me I've also just come back to the lab I work in at my university after being gone for a couple of weeks, which has caused some anxiety. The last time I slept a couple of nights ago I dreamt that I was having a panic attack, and all of the people I work with were there.

I think I will just tell her how I felt when I woke up and mention that I remembered the nightmare this time. When I've brought up nightmares before she'll usually ask if I remember them.

Thank you!

That sounds terrible..so sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like you are going through a lot at the moment. I hope you have a good therapist who helps you deal with the triggers and that you will get some relief from your symptoms soon. Take care

[medkev13]

So many "I'm Sorry"s. While you do have my condolences, I don't think that's what you posted for Let's look at the dream...

First, between the hallucinations and the sleep paralysis, AND the description of the pain of being shot/stabbed... I recommend you get yourself to a sleep clinic for testing. It sounds like you might have some sort of issue similar to sleep apnea. :: I am not a doctor, and make no official diagnosis :: But still, get yourself checked out. This at the very least will rule out something more concerning.

Sleep paralysis is fairly common, especially in vivid nightmares. It's basically your body being stuck between waking up and being in REM sleep. The hallucinations may also connect to this, as the REM effects may linger as the waking mind regains control...

Now, as for the imagery... Every character in your dream is you. Not just the daughter, but ALL of them. Even the intruder.

So you and the daughter and this disabled man are celebrating. There is a displacement between you and the daughter, though you describe her as nice. Do you see yourself in a bad light? Something to consider. Then you touch the man in the wheelchair. -I'm going to tangent for a moment- Did you ever have a hand or a foot fall asleep, and then when you start to regain feeling again what does it feel like? Pins and needles???? So you touch the man, and -you- feel the pins and needles. But when you started you said he could only move his arms, and now he's saying he can feel one leg. Your connection to him is healing. This is a standard Jungian interaction - and an ideal one! Now before I get too much more into this connection, I have to address a dynamic here. This man is a father. You have become his daughter. But perhaps you made yourself separate from the situation being addressed? How do you feel about -you- dad? If I had to wager a guess, presuming the wheelchair man is an image of your father, I'd say he is closed off and emotionally distant - not allowing any real chance for you to connect with him, But now here you are, connecting with the father figure! And you have become the daughter! And you are feeling something coming from him, and he can feel his leg. He may not be able to use it, but it's there, and knowing that the feeling is there is quite important.

But as things look up, a shadow self (the part of you that you dislike) comes up through the fence. It's only when this danger presents itself, though, that you realize you are the daughter. There is no real build up or epiphany, and you say being shot or stabbed in the chest has happened in dreams before. I think this more connects with the statement of pain on waking. Especially considering that you show signs that your sleeping and waking mind don't entirely disconnect on waking. I would suggest you look into what is giving you the feeling of emptiness. Is it the disconnect with your self as a daughter? This could be part of the issue since you only realize who you are when faced with the problem. It may also have to do with if you find yourself lacking connection with others, as you are also the man in the wheelchair - feeling nothing. In fact, that connects with the statement of feeling empty.

Bottom line, consider how you relate to your dad. Then consider how and why you feel yourself as numb. Remember to embrace these parts of yourself, as connecting with them can allow you to heal the numbness just as is shown in the dream. Finally, ask yourself why you feel so empty...what is missing? This seems to be a cause of some deeper-seeded pain. And get checked out at a sleep clinic, at least to rule out something like sleep apnea.

[xiuxiu]

Originally Posted by medkev13

So many "I'm Sorry"s. While you do have my condolences, I don't think that's what you posted for Let's look at the dream...

First, between the hallucinations and the sleep paralysis, AND the description of the pain of being shot/stabbed... I recommend you get yourself to a sleep clinic for testing. It sounds like you might have some sort of issue similar to sleep apnea. :: I am not a doctor, and make no official diagnosis :: But still, get yourself checked out. This at the very least will rule out something more concerning.

Sleep paralysis is fairly common, especially in vivid nightmares. It's basically your body being stuck between waking up and being in REM sleep. The hallucinations may also connect to this, as the REM effects may linger as the waking mind regains control...

Now, as for the imagery... Every character in your dream is you. Not just the daughter, but ALL of them. Even the intruder.

So you and the daughter and this disabled man are celebrating. There is a displacement between you and the daughter, though you describe her as nice. Do you see yourself in a bad light? Something to consider. Then you touch the man in the wheelchair. -I'm going to tangent for a moment- Did you ever have a hand or a foot fall asleep, and then when you start to regain feeling again what does it feel like? Pins and needles???? So you touch the man, and -you- feel the pins and needles. But when you started you said he could only move his arms, and now he's saying he can feel one leg. Your connection to him is healing. This is a standard Jungian interaction - and an ideal one! Now before I get too much more into this connection, I have to address a dynamic here. This man is a father. You have become his daughter. But perhaps you made yourself separate from the situation being addressed? How do you feel about -you- dad? If I had to wager a guess, presuming the wheelchair man is an image of your father, I'd say he is closed off and emotionally distant - not allowing any real chance for you to connect with him, But now here you are, connecting with the father figure! And you have become the daughter! And you are feeling something coming from him, and he can feel his leg. He may not be able to use it, but it's there, and knowing that the feeling is there is quite important.

But as things look up, a shadow self (the part of you that you dislike) comes up through the fence. It's only when this danger presents itself, though, that you realize you are the daughter. There is no real build up or epiphany, and you say being shot or stabbed in the chest has happened in dreams before. I think this more connects with the statement of pain on waking. Especially considering that you show signs that your sleeping and waking mind don't entirely disconnect on waking. I would suggest you look into what is giving you the feeling of emptiness. Is it the disconnect with your self as a daughter? This could be part of the issue since you only realize who you are when faced with the problem. It may also have to do with if you find yourself lacking connection with others, as you are also the man in the wheelchair - feeling nothing. In fact, that connects with the statement of feeling empty.

Bottom line, consider how you relate to your dad. Then consider how and why you feel yourself as numb. Remember to embrace these parts of yourself, as connecting with them can allow you to heal the numbness just as is shown in the dream. Finally, ask yourself why you feel so empty...what is missing? This seems to be a cause of some deeper-seeded pain. And get checked out at a sleep clinic, at least to rule out something like sleep apnea.

I'm blown away by the depth of your analysis! I wasn't expecting that. It never occurred to me that all of the dream characters were parts of myself. The other girl in the dream was just standing with her hands clasped together, apart from the father and I. I thought she seemed nice because when I looked at her she was smiling at me. She gave off warm energy.

My father and I actually do have a strange relationship—I was physically and verbally abused by him as a child. I don't think that what he did was okay by any means, and I used to hate him for it. I've since let those feelings go, and when I think about my father now I feel sad and sorry for him. He has distanced people from him his entire life, so yes, I would say that he is very much closed off. I lived with him up until this past year. I now stay with my mother, who tends to be dismissive and cold. He only lives down the street, but I don't talk to him much. I'll see him every now and then because my sister lives with him, and I'm always picking her up to go places.

I have a half sister with narcolepsy who has suggested going to a sleep clinic as well. My sister has told me that she's seen me sometimes struggling to breathe while I am asleep. I assumed it was due to my asthma and saw my other sleep problems as separate. I have experienced sleep paralysis my entire life. Sometimes it will lead to lucid dreaming, which is nice. I started lucid dreaming naturally as a child during nightmares. I used that to wake myself up or change them into something else. I'll also experience what feels to me like astral projection, although that's arguable depending on one's beliefs.

I do often feel distant from people. This has bothered me a great deal, and I have a mental image of myself drowning underwater and desperately reaching out for someone. I have close friendships and good people in my life, but I find myself desiring more. I oftentimes feel like there is a wall between myself and the people I love. Sometimes I myself feel far away, but sometimes I feel as though everyone else is far away. There is a subtle difference in those feelings, and they alternate. I think that perhaps this has left me feeling empty, and it's probably to do with what happened to me as a child.

Thank you so much!