And we don't like it.

Both of us come from dysfunctional/abusive backgrounds. I grew up in Kentucky, and he grew up in California, but we met in Washington and live here now. We've been married for almost 5 years.

He keeps dreaming he's stuck in California, and can't get back here to me. I keep dreaming he has sent me away and I'm moving in with my family at my grandmother's house in Kentucky. Note, her house was the one constant in my childhood, a symbol of security and stability, even though some dysfunctional things happened there too. But she's been gone a couple of years, and the house has been sold. In real life, even if something did happen between me and Mike, there is nothing in Kentucky for me to go back to, no place I could stay. That door has closed. But in the dreams...

Last night, both of us had "that dream" again.

Mine was so amazingly detailed. I could see every trinket. I could feel the gravel under my feet in the driveway. I could see the ruts in the back yard where the dogs had been digging. At the back door, I reached up to touch the eaves. I could feel the wood and the shingles. I wondered if I was dreaming again, told myself, "wake up," but nothing happened. Pinched myself, but it didn't work.

Now comes the part that is more unusual. Finally I "woke up" to my relief in my husband's arms, and he kissed me. Except I hadn't really woke up. It was still part of the dream. The house we were in was actually much bigger than our real-life house is. I started toward the kitchen to make breakfast, and I met my grandmother, the former owner of the Kentucky house. I could tell she was a ghost, because I could see through her. She assured me that my husband loves me, and then she said something to me that I couldn't make out. I told her I was missing her key words, and she repeated it. "Knock nothing out of the hand you're under." Then she started walking away, and as I said, "Thank you, Mammaw, I love you," she vanished into thin air.

The only sense I can make out of her words is that Mammaw loved birds, and as a child growing up on a farm, her favorite chore was feeding the chickens. If you're a bird, or specifically a chicken, and you're under a hand, most likely that hand is full of food. Knock the food out of the hand, and it might fall someplace you can't get it. Maybe Mammaw was telling me to wait for things to come in their proper time, instead of trying to rush at the hand that's holding it, and take a chance on spilling it.

Anyway, my husband and I would both like to see an end to these dreams. Any thoughts?

No thoughts but it's very interesting I think.

[Thunder Bow]

The dreams show that the Ghosts of your past are all gone. As you said in your introduction "That Door Is Closed".

Happened again last night. We both had our usual dreams, but with variations. He dreamed he was stuck in California and kept trying to get back to Washington, as usual. This time I was with him. He says I had a job there, and he saw me drive a van with about 20 kids, as if I were taking them to school. He had a bit of an idea why he keeps dreaming about California. It dawned on him that every time he watches a movie or a TV show, how many of them were filmed there, even if they're supposed to be taking place somewhere else? I hadn't thought of that, but basically he looks at California almost every day on TV.

I dreamed I was giving him a tour of a small town I lived in for several years, but the town was growing beyond belief. I was trying to point out the landmarks and things I remembered, only to find that nothing I remembered was there anymore. Google Earth does not bear that out. It's still a little you-blink-you-miss-it one horse town. The school and church I went to, the places everybody hung out, the town's only traffic light, etc., are all still standing. But it my dream, instead of being a sleepy little pin-dot-on-a-state-map town, it was getting to be a bustling place.

[happiedasiy]

Originally Posted by Lovebird

Happened again last night. We both had our usual dreams, but with variations. He dreamed he was stuck in California and kept trying to get back to Washington, as usual. This time I was with him. He says I had a job there, and he saw me drive a van with about 20 kids, as if I were taking them to school. He had a bit of an idea why he keeps dreaming about California. It dawned on him that every time he watches a movie or a TV show, how many of them were filmed there, even if they're supposed to be taking place somewhere else? I hadn't thought of that, but basically he looks at California almost every day on TV.

I dreamed I was giving him a tour of a small town I lived in for several years, but the town was growing beyond belief. I was trying to point out the landmarks and things I remembered, only to find that nothing I remembered was there anymore. Google Earth does not bear that out. It's still a little you-blink-you-miss-it one horse town. The school and church I went to, the places everybody hung out, the town's only traffic light, etc., are all still standing. But it my dream, instead of being a sleepy little pin-dot-on-a-state-map town, it was getting to be a bustling place.

I don't think you and husband are having the same dream and you are interpreting what your dreams mean to you and your husband's dreams and his interpretations of his dreams meaning to him.

First I would like to say there is a lot of love in your relationship and in both dreams. Then the grandmother giving advice was touching.

Then the 2nd point was about changes and trying to negotiate where you live
and this is where grandmother's advice comes in. Not to rush to judgement or hold a hard line on what you want.

You said husband found a job in California, for him this means security for the both of you.
You hear California and see tv land.

This is not the time to make big decisions, you both want the same things.
It sounds like you have a solid relationship and your awareness in your dreams
is outstanding.
H.