[DemiDeveraux]

Hello!

I'm having a lot of sleep issues, that have now destroyed my relationship with my boyfriend.
I will tell the story as short as I can;

Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for 2 years. BUT, we had a break for 8 months. I was having a lot of issues with my borderline personality disorder, which made him want to leave me.

The breakup was very painfull, he did not want any contact. He was very rude to me en always told me to shut up, though I only tried to contact him about 5 times during all those months.

Worst thing about this, he started a relationship with a close girlfriend of mine, when we were only 2 months apart. He took her virginity, after she had been telling me for months all about what her viginity ment to her. She continued to lie to me about their relationship, so I found out when it had been going on for a month already.

The relationship lasted only 2 months. But it was enough to push me to the break. 8 months later, he contacted me, that he had realised I was "the love of his life". I tried to push him away, knowing that I was unable to forgive what he did. But eventually, I gave in, and told him I would try to forgive.

The point is, he is 10 times the man he was before. I can FEEL that he loves me to his full capacities now. So there are no problems in our relation, but her.

I've been having these dreams for 7 months now. I see him cheating on me with her. I literally see them having seks in front of my eyes ALL the time, every night. I am trying so hard to forgive, but these dreams make it impossible. I am at this point that I can't go on like this, so I asked for a break.

Why do I have these dreams? Why don't they stop, why can't I just forgive?
I hope someone can help me with this, because it is destroying everything I have..

Love, Demi

[Stronger]

I'm sorry that that is happening. That sounds like it's really draining.
Maybe try writing out the dream how it is, then try writing out a slight variation of the dream where it's less horrifying. A couple days later, write out a new and even more positive version of the dream. Keep trying this until you get to a version of the dream that doesn't make you want to rip your hair out.
Writing this out may not make the dreams actually change, but it might help with some of the unsettled stuff in your subconscious.
I don't know. Might or might not help, but either way I hope that you are able to work through this with a T (if you have one) or trusted friend.
Don't let this steal your dreams! (Literally)

[shabur]

There are 2 ways you can look at your dream, and they are both similar.
First, you are all parts of the dream - the cheating, your boyfriend, your girlfriend and sex. If you really think/write about each component you may find the answer.
Second, identify each component - cheating, boyfriend, girlfriend, sex, sex in front of you and anything else that is a constant in your dreams.
With each component write down single words that each is saying to/about you. Once you complete that, write short sentences that each of these is telling you.
Using the cheating as an example (understanding that I know nothing about your situation so this is just my take on it).

Cheating - wrong, let down, unloved, sinful (if you're religious), uncommitted, hurt, ...

What is "cheating" saying to you - You (actually meaning you) are wrong. You can't trust you. You'll never really know if you are the one.

Then finally the outcome, your thoughts (in this case mine): He seems to have changed, but I'm not sure I can trust him. I want to trust him, but I have a nagging feeling I'm not listening to my own intuition. I don't want to be alone and at least I have him. But I will never truly feel, deep down, that he is totally committed to me. I need to have a heart to heart with him. If he won't participate or turns this into what I did wrong then I know my answer, that he is not committed to me or our relationship and I need to move on. I am better than this.

Remember, I am not saying any of this is true for you; this is only an example.
I use the second one all the time. It has yet to fail me. What I find is that what I write down is how/what I am feeling about myself.
I hope this helps.