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#1
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I'm 16 now, but I remember when I was in kindergarten and my dreams weren't usually normal.
Of course, I would dream of being a princess, saving animals, or being in different dimensions like a normal child, but I also dreamed of constant death and suicide. Death: This day was so clear to me: one night I was sleeping with my mom. She explained to me when people die, they fall into an eternal-like slumber and move on to a beautiful place above clouds (how it's explained to a child in her terms). I was deeply moved yet terrified. As a 6-year-old, I worried and even cried about not living in my own house anymore, never seeing any normal human being ever again, not eat my favorite foods or play with the latest games, breathing the same air! Death still haunts me to this day, but I've accepted it because I know that the soul moves on from its physical body. Suicide: My parents would always fight almost everyday. Not anything serious like domestic violence but useless squabbles most of the time. I never thought of suicide like wrist-cutting or hanging, but in a form of running away from home or getting hit by a car. I wanted to have actually be hit by a car when I was 5-6 years old so I could escape the pain plus the bullying and racism that I was experiencing during that time. Aside from that, I was a pretty stable child and grew up to be a unique person whose a bit on the crazy side ![]() So back to the main question: was this normal? Maybe it's just a silly fear that little kids think too much about and move on? Last edited by Anonymous52098; Apr 02, 2014 at 11:46 PM. |
#2
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My own childhood wasn't really normal so perhaps I'm biased, but I think what you're describing probably isn't that unusual for a kid who has some unhappiness in their life.
I too would dream of death, as did my sister. When we were in the 4-6 range I had dreamed of being shot and killed by men in suits, while she had told me one time that she dreamed a famous singer killed me. Those weren't the only dreams like those, but they're the ones that immediately come to mind. The suicide thing I didn't have, but I did think of running away due to abuse and fighting in my household. I actually did run away one time, but it was only down the street to try to live at a friend's home ![]() I think young kids begin wondering about death in general around that age range, but for kids whose lives aren't terribly happy, the picture painted about what happens after death probably makes it sound like an attractive thing, rather than merely comforting. My guess is that what you described is fairly normal under the circumstances you've listed... though as I mentioned, I may be biased. Last edited by shezbut; Apr 03, 2014 at 01:09 AM. Reason: Added a trigger icon |
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#3
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I don't think it's typical. But I don't think that means it's abnormal. It sounds like you're really asking if it's pathological . . . like a sign of some emotional disorder. That would depend on if it's associated with a lot of psychic distress. In your case, it sounds like you were dealing with a lot of insecurity. Some children are unusually thoughtful and sensitive, and they think about things that don't preoccupy most children. If the thinking leads a child to a greater sense of security, then I would say the thinking was healthy. If not, then I would say the child is overly burdened with issues that the child cannot resolve healthily. That would spring, I think, from the child not feeling safe. I don't think that's a good position for a child to be in.
What's abnormal, IMO, is not the child's thinking, but the child's living situation that is causing so much stress. |
#4
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#5
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Hmm I can't say what is normal, because I'm not sure there is a normal. I've had bloody and violent dreams all my life. Most of my dreams as a kid were nightmares involving myself or someone I loved dying. Sometimes violently.
I don't think it's that unusual for kids to have dreams about death. Kids are always trying to work over things they don't quite understand yet and this may manifest in dreams. I think the unhappy childhood could have exasperated these dreams.
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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#6
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No, it is not normal.
Thoughts like this are symptoms of a very unhappy child. A lonely, insecure child. I had terrible nightmares as a child. At 7/8 years old I would think of opening the car door and just falling out. I don't know if I wanted to die, but I did want the pain to stop. Maybe if I fell out on the road and was injured mother would decide she loved me after all. At 5 years old I would self harm (bite myself, sometime till I bled) None of that is normal. Neglect, being ignored, invalidated, ridiculed, feeling unwanted, a nuisance, unloved, told or implied that you are a burden and that their lives would be sooo much better without you. This takes a huge emotional toll on a child. Low level abuse can be subtle, and usually passes unnoticed by others. I was blamed for being miserable, whiney, a 'grizzler'. It was all my fault, funny, no body seemed to wonder why a child would be so unhappy. Unless you got bruises no one cares. |
#7
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I was like that too. I remember having vivid dreams about my parents dying, one in particularly, involved them getting their heads cut off (but somehow leaving their skulls in tact), and blood everywhere. I was trying to wake up my mom (though her head was nothing more than a skull.) It scared me so much, that I can still remember it...
I'm not sure if it's normal or not to have those kind of dreams, but I know that I've always been edgy and paranoid, always having those types of dreams, and now I have emotional problems... |
#8
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I didn't have dreams of my parents dying or "loved ones" dying I had dreams of zombies and vampires and others creatures I the night and demons. At first I thought they were dart but then I decided I wanted to be them. I wanted to wreck havoc on ppl and destroy the world a little at a time. I wanted to choose who lived and who died. I wanted to be the feared and have to power and to never fear anyone.
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#9
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you must remember... in order to dream .. the mind needs to have seen these images before in order to recreate them in our dreams.. therefore a young child having violent bloody dreams.. means that child would have had to been exposed to those images , on tv or personally and then when dreaming they would imagine themselves or people they know in those situations.
basically what im saying is.. if as a child u were exposed, or allowed to what violent programs on tv.. or even the news.. . or ur family life was unfortunately a violent unhappy one.. you will more likely have disturbing dreams.. they dont necessarily mean there is something wrong with you, its just your mind processing what it has seen..or experienced in some way, shape or form... therefore... monitor what ur kids watch on tv.. and they will have happy dreams..
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