Haunting and Taunting Me

So, I have been symptom free for almost a year now...without the use of therapy or meds during said time. A couple of months ago, everything stated coming back...including the insomnia and the night terrors.

I get about 3 hours of broken sleep on a "good" night...and even then it is riddled with images and videos of different horrifying situations...some that I've have experienced directly and some that are spin offs of my traumatic past.

It seems like its even worse now than before thesymptom free time but that may be just because I've dealt with this my whole life and now I know what its like to actually sleep...and have good dreams...and not cry for no reason.

Anyway...sorry for the babbling...I just needed to vent as I still haven't been able to go to sleep...since yesterday.

Some thing in real life may have triggered this. What is going in your life today?

Ive moved in with my sis and ex husband as they disparately need the help. The problem lies in my past with my ex...we didn't work because he took sexual advantage of me multiple times during our short marriage.

Now he and my sis are engaged...some of the nightmares feature him doing the same to her. Others are centered around my past.

After trying to analyze everything...that's the only thing I can fond that would have triggered all of my symptoms crashing down on me at once. And this all started to happen just after I got here and has only gotten worse. I'm now at a loss of what to do. Its like I've forgotten everything I learned in therapy a year ago.

Entering into this situation is exactly what rubber banded you into this dream(s). You can not rescue your sister and need to move out ASAP. Please take care of your self.

After talking it over with her and various other family/friends, that's what I will do. My fiance and I are currently looking for apartments and have half the first months rent as well as the security deposit needed saved already.

We will try to stay close ish To her if possible, but just in case I am still having issues, we will be doing a month to month lease so we can go father away, if neccesary.