[HelloWorld18]

So when I was little, I would constantly have dreams about me WANTING to become famous, and for some reason, those dreams have reoccured, leaving me feel as I did when I was younger. I have no idea where this obsession comes from. And it really does prevent me fully living my life, as once I have these types of dreams, all I think about is that subject for the day, or even days to come.

There is a small obsession of becoming "instafamous" (which mean's becoming "famous" on Instagram). I will never truly consider myself Instafamous until i reach 20,000 followers, which i know is an attainable goal to achieve. I currently have 4,506 Followers, and i watch that number like a hawk day by day. the number of follower I have is rather impressive considering i haven't even been on instagram for a year. I was hesitant at first because i was worried i would never have followers, guess i proved myself wrong LOL.

[CANDC]

Dear HelloWorld,
It seems like you have many people following you now. But you don't seem like you are very happy about that. How will having 15,494 more people listening to you make you instantly happy? Don't get me wrong, I am glad you find some joy in that expression. Maybe being joyful and accepting where you are today would make you even more attractive to people and by unintended consequences reach your goal.
You are not alone, everyone has things like "If I only had... I would be happy."
or "If I only could get rid of this condition...I would be happy." In my case none of them turned out to be true. What makes me happy is to have a contentment with who I am today knowing that life will probably change that and I can be content tomorrow. I guess everyone finds their own answer to their questions.

[HelloWorld18]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Dear HelloWorld,
It seems like you have many people following you now. But you don't seem like you are very happy about that. How will having 15,494 more people listening to you make you instantly happy? Don't get me wrong, I am glad you find some joy in that expression. Maybe being joyful and accepting where you are today would make you even more attractive to people and by unintended consequences reach your goal.
You are not alone, everyone has things like "If I only had... I would be happy."
or "If I only could get rid of this condition...I would be happy." In my case none of them turned out to be true. What makes me happy is to have a contentment with who I am today knowing that life will probably change that and I can be content tomorrow. I guess everyone finds their own answer to their questions.

Sadly, I'll probably never be truly happy. Once I reach 20k i'll want 50k then 100k then so on.

[CANDC]

I know what you mean. That is how leaning on the outside is - it is not your fault. Look at the movie stars that get 100 million $ per film. They want 200 million $.
I keep asking myself every day "What is my great joy?" Maybe that is the key. Doesn't mean you have to stop what you are doing but when you tap that well of joy, whether you have 1 viewer or 100k won't matter. The challenge is there for all of us. Some days it is just hard to feel the joy. For me yoga or exercise helps me get over the hump. Or music. Or nature. But I keep my joy sensors on so when my joy wells up I don't miss it.