Intense dream about a succubus

I want to say if you are Christian and truly believe in a hell and a devil, you may not want to read any further.

Okay... Lately I've been listening to a lot of ASMR videos. Three of them were sexual in nature, one involving succubi, and another just involving having a lot of sex with different women. Without even listening to the succubi one this time I went to sleep laying on my back, perfectly still. Usually I'd be on my side or on my front. My thoughts were simple, I wanted to have a naughty dream featuring a succubus. I could feel my body becoming heavy and hands and feet going numb. My eyes would close tightly and then slowly open up. Next thing I knew my arms were flying up to the headboard like someone was pinning them down and I kept moving into different positions.

I didn't see, or hear anyone, but I knew someone was there because I could feel it. She acted through my body. When she wanted to slap me, I slapped myself. When she wanted to choke me, I legit strangled myself, you get the idea. I wasn't even aware I was asleep. Normally when I'm dreaming I'm not in my room, I'm in a random location, everything is blurry, and I'm fully aware I'm dreaming even if I can't control anything. This time, I was wide awake fully aware I was in my room, but had very little control over my body. If you saw footage of it it would have been like I was possessed or something. I said things I don't usually say, I did things to myself I don't usually do. Two different times I thought I woke up only to discover that I was still dreaming.

When I finally did wake up I felt different. I was more open about my feelings, I felt more confident, I told my mother things I wouldn't have been open about before because of shame. And I'm still disoriented as all hell, but I know that's going to last a while. Even though I was standing up with the lights on and everything I still wasn't 100% certain if I was awake or not. I even screamed out loud to be sure. I know I'm awake now, though, because my arms aren't moving in the way they were when I was dreaming. The main thing I'm wondering is why I felt so different afterwords, and if anyone else ever had a dream that felt so real you were fully aware (or at least thought you were) that you were awake and in your room with your eyes wide open?

I have had dreams that were so vivid that when I woke up I was actually having a panic attack. It just shows how much power the brain holds over the body.

A growth spurt for you. That why you felt disorientated. The succubus was you yourself, attacking you. You have accepted yourself and opened up more.

Huh.

It happened again. Even though I was laying in bed awake for several minutes I lost complete control of my body again and kept fighting for it back. It followed me into the bathroom and I'm still not convinced it stopped as I'm typing this.

It is a feeling that is following you. You are feeling out of control. Face the feeling next time. Try talking to it out loud.

I think I just want to have sex or something. I also think I'm sleep walking while I'm typing this. Sleep texting.

You are thinking in the right direction.