Flashbacks?

I feel like I keep having flashbacks or something while I am half asleep/half awake. Like staring at moving picture. They feel real and it consumes my vision. I just feel like a terror in my gut when it happens.

The first one was a thing with my dad. He was arguing with a woman and then he punched her and knocked her out. Then he is just standing there looking over her. I reach out to touch but then I flood back to my room and I am tired laying in my bed. Every time these happen they take place in my old home. So it feels weird when I come back because *completely different surroundings*

The one last night was the kids I would normally hear outside the house. I was hearing them from outside the window talking about how they weren't feeling well and I was hoping they wouldn't see me. I was afraid. I've always been an agoraphobic. Again I reach out to touch the window and I am seeing the window from my old house and it wasn't really there. I always feel lost in the end. The usual terror in my gut because I feel like I am there.

Yes, those are flashbacks. Keep working with your therapist on them.

I don't got a therapist though

have you head one before?. are you thinking of getting a first/ another?

how do you feel about therapy..

I usually feel like it doesn't help. I go and then I feel bad about myself.

Seeing a therapist means you want to heal. That is some thing to be proud of. Many do not want to heal. So feel good when you go to a therapist. It is the best thing you can do for yourself.