[jrsone32]

Hello, This is my first post. I am a 32 year old man who has lived on my own the past 4 1/2 years. I've developed chronic insomnia in the past few months, initially due to a work stressor. That stress has subsided but the insomnia remains.

I have experienced many sleepless nights in my apartment. Because of this, I started crashing at my parents house a few nights per week. I sleep soundly at my parents, but have trouble at my apartment due to the negative association.

Now my lease is up at the end of the month and I've decided to move home for a few months. Publicly, I tell people this is because my gf and I are saving up for a place (half-truth). The main reason I'm moving home is to sleep better.

I am afraid I'm becoming helpless and running away from my problems. As a 32 year old man, I'm embarrassed to be moving back home and worry that I won't be able to sleep soundly elsewhere.

What can I do to break this negative association and train my brain to sleep better on my own? I know I can do it, I've been on my own off and on throughout most of my adult life. I've just seem to hit a roadblock.

Any and all input is appreciated... thank you for reading.

[gayleggg]

I can understand your frustration. It's not easy to move back in with your parents.

I would take the time to focus on stress reducing techniques, like relaxation and breathing exercises to help with the anxiety, making it easier to fall asleep. This will give you tools to use when you feel ready to move back out on you own. I use apps on my phone, Relax and Buddhify, but there are many other formats. YouTube has many videos for relaxation. Work on building your skills and I think that you will be fine.

[Rose76]

It sounds like you have two problems. One of them is a sleep problem. But there is another problem. Being at your parents' house is fulfilling some need you have. It could be lessening some anxiety. Or it could be that the interaction you have in the evening with your parents helps you to unwind. Or it could be something else.

If you're involved in a relationship, does spending the night with your g.f. help?

I don't think humans evolved to find it normal to be alone at night. But, in Western culture, it's expected that adults should feel okay being alone at night. I'ld say - do whatever is working for you. But you don't want to get it built up in your mind that you have to be at your parents' to sleep. That will tend to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I don't think that giving up your apartment is totally good idea. Move home completely, and you may have a heck of a time facing moving out again. It's good for someone your age to have a place of your own, even if you are temporarily not sleeping there.

I have a hunch that you moving home is not totally because of your sleep problem. Give that some thought. There might be something else that you need to work out. Maybe you really don't like the apartment you've been living in. Maybe you are under financial stress. You don't have to explain or justify to anyone doing what you feel is best for you. But moving back home at age 32 is kind of going backwards in life.

Sometimes we fool ourselves about why we are doing something. Have a good long talk with yourself about what is really comforting to you about being at your folk's house.

[Thunder Bow]

What is the "Negative Association"??