Alright, around the time when I was 15-16 I had fallen into a severe depression, a lot of things were going bad in my life (if you wish to know the details on that, see my introduction post). And around that time I just stopped dreaming, completely. Shortly after I stopped dreaming I started having these six nightmares that just kept reoccurring. They did not reoccur every night, there were some times where I had a nightmare every day for a week, and there were other times where I'd have one nightmare then for a week or two I just had no dreams at all before having another nightmare. These nightmares were usually extremely vivid and detailed, and despite the fact that I lost the ability to feel emotions in real life, I can feel some emotions in these nightmares.
I'm now almost 24, I've escaped all the bad things that had been going on in my life and am no longer depressed. My life is on a great path now. However, I still do not dream and I still have 5/6 of these nightmares on a seemingly random basis.
These nightmares concern me, I often wake up feeling depressed, upset, worthless, helpless, or afraid after having one of them and these feelings cling to me throughout most of the day. Two of the nightmares even leave me with suicidal thoughts and urges for a little while after waking up. I am not suicidal anymore, I overcame that two years ago, I should not be having those thoughts or urges. Yet some of these dreams bring that back, and that scares me a little.
I am going to post all five reoccurring nightmares here, in one topic, so that I do not spam the dreams subforum with five different topics. I will use trigger tags so that this topic remains neat and not a giant wall of text. If this dream contains a trigger, I will also mention it before the tag just so there's no confusion. However, for safety's sake, assume they all contain a trigger because I am not sure what would trigger people, and none of them end well.
While I am posting all five here, I am not asking any individual person to actually read all five. That would be a very long read since they are all kinda lengthy. If you'd like to read more then one, that's awesome, go ahead. But if you'd like to help I'm perfectly happy with you reading just one and giving me your thoughts on that. An interpretation, some feedback on why these nightmares won't go away, or some way to make them stop would be great. In the end, I just want to make them stop because they are making me feel terrible the day after and are interfering with my life. I have tried lucid dreaming, and it did not help or work. (incase someone was going to recommend that)
These are posted in order of concern, the ones near the top concern me the most as they have the worst effects after I wake up. Ones near the bottom concern me the least, because the aftereffects of those do not mess me up too much, but they still concern me.
Thank you for your time.
Perfect World:
Possible trigger:
There was a big clearing in the middle of a dense forest. In the very center of the clearing was a large and clear lake, with various types of flowers growing along the edge of the lake. On the west side of the lake was a wooden pier that went out partway over the lake. To the south west of the lake, not too far away from it, was a small two story log cabin with a wooden fence surrounding it. To the north of the lake was an open grassy area, and to the south of the lake, just a little east of the cabin, was beautiful garden that was full of various flowers.
Between the garden and the lake a group of about nine kids who looked to be around nine or ten were running around playing tag. I was among them, remaining a little distant and watching more then playing, but I was there and I was the same age as the rest of them. We were all laughing and playing, running around and having a ton of fun, it seemed to last forever before we began growing tired and one of the boys suggested that we head back to the cabin to take a break.
Everyone was tired so they all agreed and we walked back to the small log cabin. Well, I walked back and everyone else ran back, they were all so energetic even when they had worn themselves out. But that was normal, they were my friends and I knew they were always like this. I did not know any of these people in real life though, I only knew them from this one dream.
It wasn't too long before I caught up with everyone and reached the log cabin. I looked around and saw that everyone had broken up into groups. Two of the boys were kicking around a ball in the grass off to the side, a group of three girls were sitting together in the corner of the fenced in area chatting with eachother, a boy and a girl were sitting together on the front steps of the cabin, another girl was sitting on the fence alone. I smiled at the girl on the fence and she smiled back, I don't know why but I felt more attached to her then anyone else. She felt special in some way.
As I walked through a gap in the fence and up to the house I looked around at everyone and smiled a little, I was happy, I was content with the way everything was. I glanced inside the cabin to make sure everything was alright, and it was exactly the way it should be. Completely empty. I simply nodded a little, assured that everything was the way it was supposed to be, nothing changed, nothing was different, that was a good thing.
I walked around to the side of the cabin where everyone was again, walking past a crate of apples on my way there. I instinctively reached out and grabbed an apple as I walked past and began quietly taking small and slow bites out of it. I took one last glance at my friends before leaving them and walking away from the cabin while happily munching on my apple. I walked towards the lake, taking the short walk to look around and admire the clear water of the lake, the pretty flowers scattered around the edges of the lake. Once I reached the pier I took a seat at the edge, with my legs dangling off the side just above the water, and quietly looked down at the reflections in the water as I ate my apple.
'This place is perfect. But, of course I would say that, I made it this way after all.' I thought although the area had a distinct lack of, well, everything, and I was well aware of that. A nagging part of my mind wondered if removing everything from the world except food, shelter, and friends was a bad thing. 'It is a little empty... But I can't risk having anything else in here, what if someone gets hurt? What if it breaks? What if something happens? Empty is better then broken, everyone is much safer now that I removed everything. Nobody can get hurt this way...' I thought. But the concern was still nagging at the back of my mind. Was empty really better? Was there really no bad effects from removing every single unnecessary thing from the world? I shook my head to try and get rid of the thoughts, of course empty was better, just look, everything is perfect.
I gasped as my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the feeling of someone grabbing the back of my shirt and pulling me up onto my feet. Once I was standing I spun around to see that it was the girl who had been on the fence, and before I could question her she spoke up. “There is a carnival in the clearing just north of here! Come on, we are all going.” She said with a cheerful smile. When she saw me hesitate and saw the concerned and scared look that crossed my face she spoke up again. “Come on, it would be no fun without you.” She insisted.
How was there a carnival here? I made this world, I did not put a carnival here, I never would have allowed such a dangerous thing to be in this world! It was foreign, it was not supposed to be here, this world was supposed to be void of anything but food, shelter, and my friends, how did it get here? How did it get through the woods? I know I made those woods as a barrier to keep everything out... I was scared, but I knew I would have to remove it immediately.
And then I looked back at the girl, the look on her face, she wanted to go so badly... And I saw everyone else waiting at the other end of the pier, they also wanted to go. I bit my lip, maybe I could go check it out first, see if it was safe and let them go just this once. I could always remove it after... I try to fake a smile and nod “Thank you, lets go I'll be right behind you.” I said, and with that we all turned and began walking off to the carnival. We walked through the grassy field on the north side of our clearing, then walked through a narrow path through the woods, heading north until we came upon another huge clearing with a big colorful gate and a ticket booth next to it.
There was a box of candy beside the gate, which everyone ran over to and grabbed handfuls of candy. I knew I shouldn't, candy wasn't safe, but I couldn't help but to take one for myself and put it in my pocket for later. I watched as all of my friends ran off to the ticket booth to start buying tickets, I instead walked over to the gate and looked through it to see the carnival on the other side, trying to inspect it and see if it was at least a little safe.
But as I looked it over, it slowly started to fade away until it disappeared completely, and the gate turned into just a pile of rocks. That was strange... Why did it disappear? I didn't do that... “Hey did you guys see that?” I asked as I turned to my friends at the ticket booth, but the ticket booth had also become a pile of stones and my friends were all gone. I was alone. I start looking around for my friends and I spot the box of candy, and upon closer inspection I realize that it was no longer a nice, clean, well built box of full of round candies. It was now a rotten, falling apart box full of pebbles. I was confused, I reached into my pocket to grab the candy I had taken and I looked at it, and it also was no longer candy, it too had become just a candy-sized pebble.
I am starting to get worried now, what was going on? Where did everyone go? As I frantically look around I start spotting more and more things that were not the way they were supposed to be. That thick forest that was surrounding my little clearing? It was dead, it was as if a massive drought had killed all the plants. The grass was dried up, dead, and gone, the trees had no leaves and were all dead, there wasn't even the slightest bit of green anywhere. And then I noticed another peculiar thing, I was no longer a child, I had changed to my real age, not only that I was covered in a mix of dirt and mud as if I had just been digging. Did the carnival do something? Did whatever put the carnival here do something? Had time passed? Had what I was seeing before all been in my head?
In a panic I turn and rush back down the path, thinking that maybe my friends had returned to the cabin to rest. But as I returned to the clearing I had started the dream in, I was struck hard by the sight of utter devastation. The once perfect world I had been in before was long since dead. Every tree surrounding it was dead and dried up, the grass was dead and gone. The lake was dried up and the stench of the rotting dead fish filled the air. The flowers were all dead and gone.
I was just struck with a complete and utter sense of loss, helplessness, confusion. What happened? Why was everything gone? I couldn't understand. I rushed along the lakeside to get to the cabin, hoping to find my friends there. But they were not there, the log cabin was falling apart, it looked like it had been abandoned for centuries. It was covered in moss and vines, some of the inner walls had collapsed, the ceiling had collapsed in a few places, it was covered in cobwebs, there was holes in the walls. I shook my head in disbelief and walked back around to the side of the building, instinctively reaching out ad grabbing an apple from the crate as I walked past. I had done this so many times in the past that it just felt natural and I did it without thinking about it.
But then I stopped and looked down at the apple, it was nothing more then a rotten core, just like all of the other apples. I threw it to the ground, thinking that maybe my friends went to play tag, I ran back to what used to be the grassy area between the lake and the garden where the dream had began. But nobody was there, and the area was no longer a happy grassy area, it was just a dead patch of land.
I was at a complete loss, I didn't know what to do. As I turned around to walk back I glanced at the garden, and it was different. It was no longer a garden, I saw many tall and thin stones out there instead of flowers. I didn't know what else to do, so I walked over to the former garden to get a closer look, and what I found sent chills down my spine. It was a graveyard now. I didn't want to know who the graves belonged to, but I had to know. I walked up to them and began reading the names each one, with each of the eight gravestones I read, I pictured the face of the friend who they belonged to. Every one of them was gone. I could feel my eyes getting watery and I felt a stabbing pain in my chest that was hurting more and more with each name I read. I felt so devastated, I was at such a loss, I didn't know what to do. And then, I noticed that there was a ninth grave, I only had eight friends in this dream.
Curiosity got the better of me and I walked over to the last one, right next to the grave of that girl I liked. And written on the headstone of the grave was my own name. I froze in a mix of fear and confusion, and then I took a few steps back and looked at it in disbelief. It was then that I noticed something, my grave had a hole in it, it had been dug up. But... Not from the outside. As I looked down the hole, the casket had a hole busted through it, and it was empty. And it appeared like something had dug it's way out of the grave. I looked down at my hands, which were still covered in a mix of dirt and mud, then looked back at the grave. I was speechless for what felt like forever. A million thoughts were flooding through my head. “What happened? Did I die? Where did everyone go? Why is everything dead? What is going on? I don't understand.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and tightly grabbed my head, my mind was racing through a million thoughts all at once and it was giving me such a headache. I opened my eyes and ran, I ran straight to the pier which was falling apart, half of the pier had fallen into what used to be the lake, and the rest of the pier was full of holes with boards hanging off of it everywhere. The pier was where I always went to reflect, to think, to manage my world, but I just did not know what to do.
I sat down on the edge of the pier and I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. It hurt, everything hurt so bad, everything was gone, everything was dead. “I don't understand! What happened? I made this world perfect! I made it safe! I-I removed everything so nobody would ever get hurt! Why is everything dead!? Why am I dead? I don't understand! I don't understand! What happened!” And the dream ends there.
I wake up feeling hopeless, helpless, confused, lost, feeling like I just lost everything. This dream causes me to wake with suicidal thoughts and urges in my mind.
Escape: !!Trigger warning!!
Possible trigger:
I was sitting in a small dorm room (Side note, I do not nor have I ever been in a dorm). There was a bed pressed up against the back wall on the left side, and on the right side of the room, across from it, was a desk where I was seated. There was a bookshelf beside the desk, pressed up against the right wall but in the front half of the room, and there was a window on the back wall beside the desk. I sat there at the desk, quietly writing out my homework on a piece of paper.
After a moment I stretched and stood up, taking a quick break from my homework to clear my head. But as I stood up I sensed that something was wrong, very wrong. I didn't know what it was but I had an urge to look out the window, so I did. As I looked out of my window I could see that my dorm was up on a mountain side, there was a small city down below me that was surrounded on three sides by mountains. The only side of the city that didn't have mountains blocking it was the side opposite of the one I was on.
But as I looked down on the city below I saw something, a huge black mass slowly moving into the city through the gap in the mountains on the opposite side of the city. As the black mass reached the city it began spreading out through the city streets, I could tell that it was many people wearing black cloaks.
I was panicked, I wasn't sure why but I knew I had to run, to get away. I turned and dashed out of my dorm room, then sprinted down the hallway. I didn't see anyone else which confused me a little but it didn't matter, I had to get out of here. At the end of the hallway I was faced with a choice, the first choice of many. There was an elevator and stairs, the elevator would be faster so I pressed the button and waited for the elevator to open.
Wrong choice.
As soon as the elevator opened my eyes went wide, there was three cloaked figures hovering in the elevator. They wore black cloaks, had no faces, no legs, and had bones for arms and hands, they reminded me of the grim reaper without a scythe. As soon as they saw me they let out this ear-piercing, horrifying scream. As soon as I heard that scream I was just completely overwhelmed with fear, I was frozen in place, my entire body started to shake. I could only watch as the cloaked figures drifted towards me, still letting out one never ending, horrifying scream. As they got closer to me I collapsed to the ground and I saw them lean over me to grab my throat, choking me. Then, little by little my vision faded to black, and then the screaming slowly faded away as I felt my body go numb.
Next thing I knew, I was in my dorm again, sitting at my desk and working on homework. I was confused, I stood up and looked out the window and just like before I saw the black mass of thousands of cloaked figures approaching the town and swarming the streets. I felt that urge to run again. So I ran again. I dashed out of the dorm room and down the hall and I once again found myself standing at the elevator and stairs. I ran straight to the elevator and reached out to press the button, but I stopped and hesitated. I remembered what happened last time I tried to take the elevator and was hesitant to try that again.
I backed away from the elevator and ran down the stairs instead. I rushed down the stairs as fast as I could and made it to the bottom in no time. Once there I found myself in what looked like a butcher house, there was long metal tables in the room, chains hanging from the ceiling, blood everywhere. I did not like it here, I rushed through the room as fast as I could and found myself back in the hallways again. I still do not know the purpose of that room was, it seemed terribly out of place.
I rush down the hallway but as I run I can hear televisions and people talking in the dorm rooms I pass by. Why were they not running away? I had to stop and help them, I turned and knocked on one of the doors, shouting to them that they were in danger. But there was no answer. On a whim, I tried to open the door and it was unlocked! I opened the door and went to walk in to warn the people, but as soon as I opened the door I saw that there was no people in there.
Wrong choice.
There was just two more of those cloaked figures waiting right behind the door. As soon as I saw them the horrifying screeching started again and I was frozen again. And just like before, they slowly drifted over to me and grabbed my throat, pinning me to the floor and choking the life out of me until I eventually died.
Once again, I found myself in my dorm room, working on the homework. I look out the window to see the cloaked figures swarming into the small city again, and I feel the urge to run. But this time, I shake my head and stay seated in my room. Running hasn't done me any good thus far. So, I stayed there and just kept doing my homework, ignoring the growing sense of fear and danger. It was working, nothing happened for a while.
Wrong choice.
It only lasted for so long before suddenly my door was kicked in and as I turned to see what it was I once again saw the cloaked figures. And once again the screaming began. And again I froze, I collapsed, and they choked the life out of me. And again when I came back I was back in my dorm, doing my homework again. There must be a way out of this... I turn and run out of my dorm, down the hall, down the stairs, I run past the people in the side rooms and leave them to die. I find myself in the front lobby of the building, and still I don't see anybody here. It didn't matter though, I rushed out the front door and was finally out of the dorm building. I was at the top of the mountain looking down on the city, I figured that must be where I need to go next. So I started to walk down towards the city, but as I start walking I hear a familiar voice. It was my little sister. I was confused, I live very far away now (Note, in real life I lived with my sister when this dream started, and two years ago I moved about 5 minutes away.), why is she here? How is she here? I turn and look up, I can see her in the window of my dorm room, all the way back up there, and she is screaming for help. I have to go back. I turn around and run back into the building.
Wrong choice.
As soon as I open the front door to go back into the building the cloaked figures are there, and the screaming begins again. I would say that that horrifying scream was so scary it would haunt me in my dreams, but, well, this was my dream. It sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it.
The dream restarted once again, and I was back in my room doing homework. Terrified, dreading running into those cloaked figures again, and not knowing what to do. I did not want to run into those things again, it was horrible! But I couldn't just stay here, and I couldn't run away, what was I supposed to do? I had to keep trying, I had to find a way out, there has to be a way out right?
I rushed out of my dorm, down the hall, down the stairs, I left the people to die, I rushed out of the building, I heard the cries for help from my loved ones and I stopped again. It was so hard, but I knew what happened if I turned back. It wasn't really them, it couldn't be. I bit my lip and ran down the side of the mountain and into the city. I saw that there was one main street that went straight through the city, straight across to the way out, the one side where there was no mountains blocking my path. There was also several side streets and alleyways as well as the homes in the city. I ran straight down the main street, sprinting as fast as I could to try and get to the other side.
Wrong choice.
But as I tried to run for it the cloaked figures stepped out of the alleyways and cut me off, letting out that horrifying scream again. Once again I was choked to death, once again the dream restarted. In a complete panic I rushed back out of my dorm immediately, down the hall, down the stairs, past the people, out of the building, down the mountains, into the city, and I took the first side street on the left.
Wrong choice.
Second side street on the left? Wrong choice. The first side street on the right? Wrong choice. Second side street on the right? Wrong choice. The alleyways? Wrong choice. The houses? Wrong choice. Wrong choice. Wrong choice. WRONG CHOICE.
The dream restarts again and I am back in my dorm once again, I am so scared I am shaking, I'm panting heavily, I am panicking, and I hadn't even left the dorm yet. I rush out of the dorm, down the hall, down the stairs, past the people, out of the building, down the mountain. And this time I decide not to go into the city. I instead stick to the very edge of the city, between the city limits and the mountains surrounding it. Instead of going through the city I circle around it, and I make it to the other side safely!
I was shocked, here I was, at the gap in the mountains on the other side of the city. I made it. Beyond here was just a long grassy field, the sunset, flowers. Finally! I start running out into the field, trying to get as far away from this city as I possibly can. I run through the grass and the flowers, running towards the sunset. It is a clear path in front of me, there is nothing between me and freedom. I turn and look over my shoulder to make sure I am not being followed, and thankfully there is nothing there. So I turn back to face forwards so I don't run into anything.
And suddenly, I see thousands of the cloaked figures appear in front of me. There is so many of them that they completely block out my view of the sun and they take up the entire field. But this time I am not frozen! I cuss loudly and I spin around to try running back, but as soon as I turn around I see thousands more of them walk out of the city and block the way back, I am surrounded.
The horrifying screaming starts again, and it's not just one of them this time it is all of them. I am so scared, my heart is racing so fast it feels like it is about to explode. I start shaking uncontrollably, I still am not frozen but I am surrounded and I am so scared. I drop to my knees, clutching my head. Why isn't there a way out? Why can't I get away? What am I supposed to do? I feel that familiar feeling of a hand clutching my throat, the air leaving my body, my body going numb and limp.
Wrong choice...
And once again, I find myself back in my dorm. In a complete panic I start rushing out of my dorm, trying every door in the building, every house in town, every street in town. Wrong choice. Wrong choice. Wrong choice. Wrong choice. Wrong choice! Wrong choice!! WRONG CHOICE!! WRONG CHOICE!!!! With every wrong choice the fear got worse, with every death I grew more and more scared, I started to fear running into the cloaked figures more and more. My head was spinning, the same thoughts were running through my mind again and again. I had to get out! I was scared! I just wanted it to stop! I just wanted it to go away! I was so scared, I had to get away, it had to stop! I had to make it stop! Why was there no way out?! How do I make it stop?? It has to stop, I can't take it anymore! I didn't want the cloaked figures to find me again, I would do anything to not be found again. I had to get away! Please just make it stop! I had to make it stop, to make the fear go away. I glanced at my window. Anything to make it stop...
Without a second thought I threw myself through the window and plummeted to the ground below. I hit the ground and it all finally stopped. No more fear, no pain, no screaming, there was no cloaked figures, I did not suddenly find myself back in the room, the dream did not reset. I just died.
The dream ends there. I wake up shaking, crying, in a state of complete and utter panic. I feel so scared that I feel like I have to run, but at the same time I'm too scared and shaky to move. For most of the rest of the day, I can't shake this powerful and constant feeling of fear and danger, and the strong compelling urge to run somewhere, anywhere but where I currently am.
The lost Children !!Trigger Warning!!
Possible trigger:
The dream starts with me waking up in my room. Seems like any ordinary day, but I feel the urge to go for a walk. So I do. On my walk the city streets are the same as the real streets I live on, however there is one section of a couple streets there that isn't supposed to be there, and that's where I go on my walk.
On my walk I pass a bus that stops and drops off a large group of children. I don't think much of it and I just keep walking, aimlessly wandering the streets. After a while, the dream resets. I find myself waking up again, however I don't seem to notice that the dream has reset in the dream. I get out of bed to see that it is now the next day, and I have that urge to go for a walk again. As I get ready to go out I pass the TV, there is a news report on the TV. A kid has gone missing, and the picture on the TV is one of the kids I recognize from the bus stop.
It strikes me as odd, but I shrug it off and go for my walk. I pass the bus as it drops the kids off again and sure enough, that one kid is not with them. But, I just keep walking and wandering the streets until the dream resets again.
I "wake up" the next day, and like before I have the urge to go for a walk, and the TV reports that another kid from the bus stop went missing. I ignore it, passing the kids as I continue my walk until the reset.
Next day, another kid went missing. Now I'm getting concerned, what is happening to them between that bus stop and their homes? This day, on my walk, I do not walk past them. I stop to talk to the kids, asking them where their friends are going. They don't know, they haven't seen anyone around. So I offer to walk them home and make sure they are safe.
We have idle conversations as we walk, nothing special and not much that I remember, the types of silly things kids often talk about. Until eventually we reach this one long street that has many side streets on it. I don't know where their homes are, so I'm just sortof walking alongside them. When we get here, each time we pass one street one kid leaves the group and walks down the street.
I ask where they are going, to which they reply "home". Apparently, every kid lives on a different street. I can't follow all of them home if they are all going to completely different streets. So I stay with the group and walk the last kid to leave the group home. Their parents are thankful for me protecting their kid. Dream resets.
Next morning, another kid has gone missing. One of the ones I was not able to follow all the way home. Over the next several repeats of the dream I keep trying to follow different kids home, their parents are always thankful for me keeping the kid safe. However, no matter who I follow nothing ever happens to the kid I'm with, and one of the ones I didn't go with disappears.
I actually start getting a little emotionally invested in this. I'm talking to them the whole walk home, they are so realistic they seemed like real people, so they almost became friends of mine. They had their own personalities, their own stories to tell, it hurt to lose them just as much as losing a real friend would.
And what made it worse, as the dream went on and the group started getting smaller, I could see it in their eyes and demeanor. They were all getting scared, with each day they became less happy and cheerful. They expressed concern for their lost friends, they expressed fear that they'd be next. As the group got smaller and smaller, the idle chat slowed to a stop, the walks became silent.
They knew that whoever I went with would be safe. Eventually, every time we reached a street one of the kids lived on everyone in the group would turn and look up at me. The one leaving the group would give me that look, terrified to go alone, the look was silently saying "You're going to come with me and keep my safe, right? Please?" and the rest of the group gave me the same look, as if begging me not to leave the group. The ones I didn't go with were crushed, I could tell.
And it kept going, every day one kid would disappear. Every day i had to choose just one to protect, and I'd have to wait and see who we lost. Until there was only one left.
I woke up, I had the urge to go for a walk, I saw the news reporting that the one kid I hadn't gone with last time was missing. I knew, this was it. There was only one left, I knew I'd face whatever was taking them this time. So before I went on my walk, I grabbed a knife. Nothing was going to stop me from keeping this last one safe, and I hoped to find the others.
I walked to the bus stop, the kid was dropped off right as I got there, as always. We walked in complete silence, and I walked the kid down her street. We were almost home when a hooded man stepped out of the bushes, his hood was up and I could not see the face beyond the hood. But I just knew, this was it. I pushed the girl behind me to keep her safe and out of the way, and as I did I saw the man reach for his pocket. So moving as fast as I could I reached into my pocket. I was faster, I drew my knife and without second thought rushed forwards. I took one step, then I saw him pull out a gun and before I could react I heard the gunshot and felt the sharp pain in my chest as I collapsed. The kid screamed, and everything went black.
And the dream ends there. I wake up feeling useless, worthless, feeling like I failed something major, feeling like I just lost many people who were very important to me. I sometimes wake from this dream with suicidal thoughts, but no urges. The feelings I wake up with stick with me throughout the day.
The Final Boss:
Possible trigger:
**Note. I am a gamer, I have noticed that several of the oddities in this nightmare as well as the theme of it appear to be game-like in nature. So I'm not sure if those parts (pulling a bike out of nowhere, referring to challenges I have overcome as 'bosses'.) are just my mind reflecting that I like games, or if they have a meaning to them.**
I crawled out of the wreckage of the plane, unscratched somehow but I wasn't going to question why I was unharmed, I was just glad that I was. I took a deep breath and checked to make sure I had everything I needed. My sword? Still on my back. My pouch of money? Still attached to my belt. Yep, it was all still here. I glance back at the wreckage of the plane, it had crash landed on the edge of a forest and right in the middle of a street, why the street abruptly ended and turned into a forest I don't know, nor do I care.
I had somewhere I needed to be, my adventure was nearing its end. I had overcome the challenges before of me, I had defeated all of the bosses, monsters, and every other obstacle in my way, I had won. Well, I had almost won, I had one boss left to go but I was not worried, I felt confident that I could defeat this last one. I was prepared for it. I meant to land the plane a little closer to this last boss, this last big obstacle in my way, but it seems like I didn't quite know how to land a plane, oops. But no matter I had been expecting to crash so I will simply take a bus, I will get there one way or another.
I walk over to the bus stop and right as I arrive the bus also arrives and stops. I turn to get on but as soon as I try to step into the bus it speeds off down the road without me. I shout after it and try chasing the bus but it was no use, it drove away far too fast for me to catch it. I grumbled quietly, frustrated with my luck, but I wasn't going to allow it to stop me. I had come so far, this was the happy ending to my adventure, I wasn't going to stop just because I crashed the plane and missed the bus. I was prepared to miss the bus.
I held my hand out and suddenly my bike appeared in my hand. Of course I had been carrying it with me the whole time in a magic bag like in any video game. I quickly got onto my bike and rode it down the street, rushing off towards my destination. Everything was going fine until I hit a bump in the sidewalk and was thrown off my bike.
I shouted out in pain as I hit the sidewalk and I laid there for a moment, but I got back up. I wasn't going to let anything stop me. But then as I look up I see somebody else grab my bike and ride away with it. “Hey! Get back here!” I shouted out at them as I got up and tried to run after them, but again I was too slow on foot to keep up with a bike. I silently cussed and looked at the end of the incredibly long road. There was no way I could make it in time now, I had a time limit to get there and I could not make it on foot. I had lost.
Or had I? I turned to see somebody walking past with a scooter, I hated the idea of taking it from them but this was important. I had to do this. I grabbed the scooter and jumped on it, then sped off down the road. Shouting back to the man “I am sorry! But I will bring it back as soon as I save the world!” In retrospect, considering the fact that I was saving the world he really shouldn't mind me borrowing his scooter, but I apologized anyways and sped off down the street.
Finally, I was making progress without anything stopping me, there was no more road blocks in my way. As I got closer to my destination I saw that there was a carnival between me and my destination though, I had been expecting that too. Once I arrived at the carnival I put the scooter aside and started walking through it, heading straight for the big brick building on the other side. Although, as I walked through the streets into the carnival I bumped into, well, everyone. All of my friends, all of my family, everyone I cared about was there, waiting for me. I smiled a bit and greeted them, they told me how proud they were that I managed to get this far in my adventure and thanked me for defeating all the monsters on the way here.
We talked for a while and they asked me to join them in the carnival to have some fun, go on rides, play games, and such. But I shook my head and explained to them that I had one more boss I needed to defeat, one more obstacle in my path. “I promise, I will come right back once I defeat it. I am prepared for it, it will be quick and easy.” I told them, and I gestured to the sword that was strapped to my back. They all nodded a little and wished me good luck, and told me that they would wait here for me to come back.
So, I left them and headed off into the brick building. Smiling and happy, I couldn't wait to get back to them. As I walked into the brick building I found myself in a long, dark hallway. The hallway was almost completely black, except for a few very dim lights hanging from the ceiling, there was metal doors on the side walls. It was not a very welcoming or friendly place, and I knew my greatest challenge was in front of me. But I had been expecing this and was prepared for it. I took a deep breath and walked down the hall.
I knew exactly what door it was, the second to last door on the right. I walked up to the door and braced myself, then walked into the room. It was a small room with white brick walls and a concrete floor, just like the hallway had been. As I stepped in I heard the door shut behind me and lock. And then I looked up to see the final boss of my adventure.
I was looking up at myself, an older version of myself. This did not surprise me though, I had been expecting this to be the final boss. I knew it would be my biggest challenge yet, but I came prepared, I had a sword, and he had nothing. I was shaking in fear, but I reached back and grabbed my sword and held it in front of myself with the point of the blade pointing at my older self. I took a deep breath and steadied my shaking, I can do this, all I need to do is stab him. The older me just stared back at me, not moving, not speaking, just staring with this cold and dead expression in his eyes.
I pull my sword back and thrust it forwards, aiming to stab and kill my older self. But, before my sword hits him, it suddenly turns to ash and is blown away as if there was a breeze in the room. My eyes went wide and I was shocked, I had not been expecting that. Suddenly I went from being prepared, to having nothing. There was no way I could win now, he was bigger and stronger then me, I needed that sword.
But, I thought back to my family and friends, they were all waiting for me outside. They were counting on me to win and come back, I had to win. I'll figure it out, I will find a way to win. But, then I watched as the older me reached up into the air and a sword suddenly just appeared out of nowhere in his hand. I raised my hands up in a defensive stance, and I watched as he walked toward me. Keeping this blank, empty, emotionless expression on his face. He seemed like he was looking through me. When he got close to me I moved in to try and throw a punch at him but before I could get a chance to hit him he grabbed my by the throat and slammed me back into the wall, pinning me there and choking me. I couldn't reach him, his arms were longer then mine. I desperately struggled, kicked, squirmed, trying to fight my way out of his grip, but he was too strong, I couldn't get away.
His grip on my throat tightened and I could feel myself choking, I was rapidly losing air. I was starting to feel lightheaded, I couldn't breathe at all. I looked up at my older self and he still had that blank, emotionless, dead cold, expression. I struggled, and struggled, but little by little I felt my body going numb and my vision started to fade away, until eventually I felt myself go limp as I lost the strength to move and everything went black. And then, I felt something sharp stab through my chest, for a moment I was in extreme pain, but after that moment I felt nothing at all.
The Hero
Possible trigger:
I awoke early in the morning, which was unusual for me. I walked through my house to see my mother and my sister sitting in the living room. Although, one thing is different. This is not my house, or rather, not my house any more. This home used to be my home when I was a little kid (Age 3-10), it was where I lived just before life took a turn for the worse. But in the dream I had not noticed this, in the dream this was simply my home and I considered it as such for this dream and things were how they used to be back then.
I smiled a bit and greeted my family, I stopped to talk with them for a little while, we didn't talk about a heck of a lot just everyday things. I was happy, they were happy, everything felt really peaceful and good. When I finished talking to them I stepped outside and looked around at the town I lived in. It looked more like a small village, there was only about seven or eight houses in the entire city, no streets, just one stone road that went to a central hub-like area in the middle of the city, then the stone roads stretched out to each house. The central hub was nothing more then a circular area made out of the stone roads with a platform that raised just a little off the ground.
As I looked around I saw my neighbors wandering town. There was one nice elderly lady next door who was sweeping her steps, and a few others were idly talking to each other in their yards. It was a nice and peaceful little town, everyone was happy, everything was cheery, I was smiling and I don't think I have ever felt so content. Although, as I looked up and spotted somebody new walking down the road into town my smile turned into a frown and I grew both afraid and concerned.
There was a figure in a black cloak that seemed to be hovering off the ground. It had broken chains hanging off its cloak and gave off this vibe that just sent shivers down your spine when you looked at it. As far as I could see, there was nothing under the cloak, it had no face, hands, or legs. Everyone started to whisper about the new, strange and scary thing entering the town and I just watched in shock, hoping it would pass by and leave us alone.
But, of course, it didn't. Why would it do that? I watched as a skeleton-arm and hand reached out of the cloak. The cloaked figure rose its hand and a small, blue, orb-like thing appeared in its palm. Then all of a sudden it looked like everyone and everything was sucked into the orb. The houses were all gone, the neighbors were all gone, my own home was still there but I was afraid of what else was gone now. In a panic I rushed into the house to check on my family, but they too were gone. Everything in my house was gone, every room was empty and bare.
I stepped back outside, it hurt to see my family disappear like that, I had to get them back. I turned to the cloaked figure and glared at it. Watching as it slowly walked over to the central hub in the middle of town. Then... It just turned around and stared at me, as if waiting for me to do something. I so badly wanted to rush down there and attack the cloaked figure, to defeat it and get everyone back. I knew that was the only way I could save everyone, I had to be a hero.
But I was also not a fool, I knew I could not defeat this thing with my hands alone. I needed a weapon, but where could I get a weapon when everything in town was gone? I looked around for a moment or two before my eyes came to rest on my home. Suddenly, I knew what I was expected to do, and just thinking about it sent a sharp pain through my heart. I didn't want to, but it was the only way to save them. I would have to tear down my entire home to get the wood I need to make a sword. Dream logic. This home held so much sentimental value to me, it was so important to me, and meant to much. It killed me to destroy it, but I had to tear it apart piece by piece. With each piece I ripped apart I felt it crushing me on the inside a little more. It was like I had just destroyed one of the most important things in the world to me. By the time I was finished I felt a little dead inside, like something important was missing, like I had just suffered a huge loss, and I as trying very hard not to cry.
But, I had my sword. I took a deep breath and bit my lip as I looked over the small wooden sword. I knew I could save everyone with this, I knew we could rebuild the house later and return to being a happy family. I just had to face the fear and fight that monster, head on. I was the hero, I was going to save everyone. I took another deep breath to calm my nerves and marched off towards the cloaked figure.
It just watched me, it had been watching me the whole time. I approached the cloaked figure and took on a fighting stance, but it did not move. It didn't even acknowledge my presence, it just kept watching. I hesitated for a moment, I needed to get everyone back, I didn't want to fight but I had to. So I bit back my fear and swung my wooden sword for the cloaked figure's ribs. And still, the cloaked figure did not move, it just stood there. And much to my disbelief... My sword went right through its body as if nothing was there. My sword was completely useless against this thing, I had just done all of that for nothing. What do I do now? I can't get them back, I can't get any of it back...
My eyes went wide and I was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense of dread and hopelessness, loneliness, pain. I could only watch as the creature reached out and grabbed my throat. I started to choke and struggle, trying to get free but it was useless. I couldn't break out of the cloaked figure's grip. The more I struggled and fought the faster I started losing consciousness.
I was still awake but unable to move as the cloaked figure lowered me to the ground, and finally moved out of that spot it had been standing in this whole time. It dragged me across the ground as it walked away. As my vision slowly faded to black, the last thing I saw was the remains of the village little by little disappearing into the background as I was effortlessly dragged away.
When did you write all these dreams down? You remembered them very well, almost to well. Are you a writer? How long ago did you have them? Dreams are all about our feelings, as they relate to one self and real life situations. Your dreams do seem to mirror how you post here.
Before I stopped dreaming I used to have very vivid and detailed dreams often, and it was normal for me to remember most of the things that were in the more detailed ones. I can still remember large portions of a few detailed dreams I only had once as a child. I have very good visual memory, which is how I remember most of these dreams. There are even some dreams where I no longer remember anything that happened, but I remember what several places in the dream looked like.
But, in addition to that I took up a habit of writing my dreams in a journal when I woke up around the age 13-14, if I remembered enough of them and if they seemed interesting enough. I did this because I noticed that my dreams often revisited locations I had dreamt of before. It was in a different dream, but it took place in the same location. And sometimes (not often) actions I had previously done in other dreams effected the location. It interested me so I often wrote them down to see if the connections had some sort of meaning. (Which they did not, as far as I could tell).
So I wrote these nightmares down the first time I had them. Almost 10 years ago. Not too long after that my dream journal went onto the PC, because typing is easier then writing. This also allowed me to edit the dreams I had previously written. Since these dreams reoccur, I'd occasionally remember new things I had not remembered before. Using the "perfect world" dream as an example, the original dream I had first written down was more or less a skeleton of it. I remembered the locations (Lake, Pier, log cabin, grassy fields, et.) and the key parts. (Played with kids, went to cabin, took apple, went to pier to think and eat apple, went to carnival, suddenly aged and everything died, etc.). But as I had the dream over and over for years, I could recall smaller details such as roughly where the kids sat/what they did while at the cabin, and I added them as I remembered them. That's pretty much how the dreams ended up becoming so detailed, just the repetition and having them for such a long time.
As for being a writer, I'm not sure. I personally hate writing and the English language. However, I am writing two stories despite that. I only took up writing these stories because I was originally making games out of them, and my computer got fried, thus making it impossible for me to continue making the games. Building the games was my escape from an otherwise not so happy place, so when that was lost I took up writing to continue those two stories replace my escape hobby, and I just never finished the stories so I'm still working on them.
And I agree, dreams are about our feelings. But things have drastically changed in my life, and I mean very drastically, for the better. But these dreams did not change, nor did they stop. Which confuses me. I am curious though, what do you mean when you say my dreams mirror my posts?
You do seem to have a good talent for writing. You also have a good mind and talent for writing and story telling. Keep developing the stories into a finished form.
What are the dates of the dreams posted here? Are these old dreams from years ago? If so, please post your most recent dreams here. Write you Newer dreams here. Sharing your recent dreams, with out reffering to your old ones will be very helpful.
Your dreams are long, like your posts here. Long and well written by your mind, while you were dreaming.
I noticed that a good portion of your dreams end with choking. Do you have sleep paralysis? Many of my nightmares ended with me drowning, being crushed/smothered or being strangled. Then I "wake up" to complete darkness, unable to breath, see, or move for what seems like forever before snapping awake in the morning. The ending of your dreams reminded me of how many of my dreams/nightmares use to end before I was prescribed prazosin. This med really help to manage my sleep paralysis and a certain recurring nightmare that would scare me so bad that I would sometimes wet the bed. Thanks to the prazosin, the last time I had this nightmare was two years ago.
All of your nightmares have to do with failing someone or being helpless. All of my recurring nightmares have to do with me disappointing someone (usually my family) or me being brutally victimized all over again. Do you see a therapist? You need to talk to someone especially trained for that. Maybe you need meds, as well. IDK but personally prazosin is the best thing I was given for my recurring PTSD related nightmares.
__________________ I'm a nurse that has:
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Major depressive disorder
Generalized anxiety disorder
But I'm getting the help I need.
Medication as of 2017:
Trintellix 10 mg
Topamax 100 mg
Buspar 10 mg
Prazosin 2 mg
Vistaril 50 mg
You do seem to have a good talent for writing. You also have a good mind and talent for writing and story telling. Keep developing the stories into a finished form.
What are the dates of the dreams posted here? Are these old dreams from years ago? If so, please post your most recent dreams here. Write you Newer dreams here. Sharing your recent dreams, with out reffering to your old ones will be very helpful.
Your dreams are long, like your posts here. Long and well written by your mind, while you were dreaming.
Thanks. I do still work on the stories, it's just a very slow progress. ^.^ These dreams started in the late-ish summer about ten years ago. I do not have the exact dates as I did not find them important at the time of writing them. But based off other events written in the journal I can guess that they started around late-ish summer. And these are the same dreams I still have today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NurseCollie
I noticed that a good portion of your dreams end with choking. Do you have sleep paralysis? Many of my nightmares ended with me drowning, being crushed/smothered or being strangled. Then I "wake up" to complete darkness, unable to breath, see, or move for what seems like forever before snapping awake in the morning. The ending of your dreams reminded me of how many of my dreams/nightmares use to end before I was prescribed prazosin. This med really help to manage my sleep paralysis and a certain recurring nightmare that would scare me so bad that I would sometimes wet the bed. Thanks to the prazosin, the last time I had this nightmare was two years ago.
All of your nightmares have to do with failing someone or being helpless. All of my recurring nightmares have to do with me disappointing someone (usually my family) or me being brutally victimized all over again. Do you see a therapist? You need to talk to someone especially trained for that. Maybe you need meds, as well. IDK but personally prazosin is the best thing I was given for my recurring PTSD related nightmares.
I had not actually noticed that, but looking back, yeah half of them do end in choking. I have never had sleep paralysis though. I'm not so sure I want to try any medications, unless prescribed by a psychiatrist as a last resort. Glad it was able to help you though, sounds like your nightmare was by far worse then mine 0.o
I did notice they all ended in failure, loss, or helplessness though. It made sense for the time I had them, I didn't really know what they meant but when they started I lived in an abusive home. I was watching my mother fall into an addiction to pain meds, she was becoming more and more abusive as time passed, and there was nothing I could do. So, I'm not surprised that the dreams included those feelings. But I got out of that situation two years ago, and yet the dreams have not stopped.
I used to see a therapist, however there was so many other things that took more importance to talk about first. (As I had literally just left an abusive home). Before I could get all those things worked out with a therapist, I lost contact with said therapist. It was a school therapist at my college, and I don't know what happened but suddenly she no longer worked at the school. Never got a chance to bring up the dreams because of everything else. So I no longer have a therapist.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annaflower
have you tried therapy or sleep meds like zopiclone or melatonin?
I answered the therapist part in the above paragraph. As for medications, I have not tried any and would only try medications as a last resort. I avoid all medications unless absolutely necessary.
Sorry for the delay, with finals coming up and all it's been a terribly hectic week.
My thoughts on that, while it is an interesting perspective, before these nightmares started reoccurring I used to have a lot of really in-depth dreams that would've made great stories. These nightmares have been kinda detrimental to that in a way, and they also started long before being a writer was even a foggy thought in my mind, and continued after I started the hobby.
Along the lines of what Thunder Bow is saying, I think it might not be appropriate to keep editing a dream and adding detail. Even though it may have seemed like the same dream, because your life situation is always evolving the dreams were likely different or saying different things. It would be best to write down a dream once as best you recall it, and in particular recent dreams would be relevant to your life now. If you have a similar dream later, write that down as best you can recall what happened on that specific night rather than editing a prior dream.
Apr 12, 2015, 10:38 PM
I'm a nurse that has:
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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