[oceansoftime]

About 30 yrs ago I had the most horrific dream. It shook me to my entire core. This is not a reoccurring dream while I sleep but everyday flashes of the dream go through my head. I could be grocery shopping or at work and I could walk through the dream and I can see it and feel it. It's like I just woke from the dream. It upsets me so much but I can control my emotions around others.

As I get older the dream comes to me on a daily basis or many times throughout the day

[CANDC]

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[Thunder Bow]

Can you tell us about the dream, as it appears today to you? What are you feeling?

[oceansoftime]

Well it starts off with myself and a small girl in a kitchen. It almost seems that we have just recently moved in, we are unpacking. The kitchen is painted in a super bright yellow. Boxes everywhere opened with white tissue paper. It's bright and cheery. I feel overwhelmingly happy, joyous!

I tell the girl that I want to go look in the pantry which is directly beside us. I'm inside the pantry checking out the shelves and stuff when I find a false panel. I push it away and crawl through it.

When I stand up, I'm in very long hallway. The stench makes it hard to breath. Almost pitch black but very old antique lights on the walls give a tiny glow. Multiple doors along hall but too dark to see end of hallway.

There is red and black carpet. The walls have black panelling half way up. The rest is in gold brocade. Heavy gold framed paintings are on the walls. Antique hall tables are sporadically placed beside doors.

I may have moved a couple of feet but I am literally frozen in fear. All of a sudden I get a sense of horrific sadness. I can feel as if many people where tortured in the house. I know that people where mutilated and abused. I can feel the pain of every single one of them. I am too scared to even breath. Then I wake up...

Sometimes the dream continues and I very slowly take one step then another all awhile I feel intense physical and emotional pain.

I find the room, it's not marked but the numbers 101 come to mind. I grab the door knob, it's the old fashioned oval type. It seems I'm in the 1800s .

I walk in the room and I get the sense it's my grandmother's room. The room never ends, I just keep walking around the room. Some furniture has dust cloths over them. I keep thinking I'll find my grandmother's body or worst I see her standing there dressed covered head to toe in black mourning lace.

I see in my mind another room. It's empty, clean and sterile. In the middle is a gurney with a white sheet covering a body.

I wake up

Years ago I asked my mom if she had ever been in a house like that and much to my surprise she told me my great grandmother owned a mansion that had many hidden rooms and passages but she has only been in it once but she was a baby and there was no possible way I was ever in it.

Everyday I have flashes of this dream go through my mind. Even if it's only the gurney in the room.

[MusicMike]

Do you remember how old you were when you first had this dream? It seems to be saying something about your relationship to death, and I wonder how you would have been aware of death at the time you dreamed it.

[oceansoftime]

I was 18 and I'm 48 now. At 18, my mom's parents both passed away but I was too young to remember them. I have been very sheltered from death, my family is very small and I did not experience death until wayyy after the dream.

[Thunder Bow]

Reads like the hunted house movie "House Of Bones" I saw on the SyFy channel the other day. You got a good imagination. This dream could mean the death of an old phase in your life.

[MusicMike]

Sometimes when a family tries to shelter you from something, it doesn't really work -- you know about that thing anyway, and it just seems all the much more scarier because you aren't allow to talk about it in your family. This may be a about a metaphorical death as Thunder Bow says, but I wonder if death is presented as so terrifying in this dream because maybe you never got to talk about death frankly with your family.