[BluesyQ]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I felt like I needed to share this. I have been broken up with my ex for almost three years now. Have been in relationships since, but never really got over him, despite many reasons why I should have. But it haunts me almost daily.

What's worse, is that I have dreams about him almost twice a week. Very vivid ones. Usually it entails me going to a party or something at his house. Being worried that he will be mad I'm there, his friends all being kind and engaging with me (as in the dreams they are the ones who invited me). Ultimately I see him and he just says hi or nods and is nice, but that's it. Even his girlfriend (who he is now engaged to) speaks to me and engages in these dreams. Only in one dream did we end up talking and I said to him over and over "I guess the heart wants what it wants".

Every morning I wake up happy that I saw him and want to go back to sleep because something is always about to happen.

I know that is weird. But this has been going on for too long. It's doing a number on me. After almost three year I should be done and rid of this, but at the same time I feel like these are signs that I need to address things? I don't know. Never had recurring dreams like these other than the anxiety dreams (teeth falling out, going onstage not knowing my lines. . .etc).

Any advice?

[healingme4me]

Maybe not having him in your waking life is a step towards settling your subconscious down? 'The heart wants what it wants,' seems to say there are still feelings there. Plus where he's about to get married, that's naturally unnerving.

[*Laurie*]

At some point in my life I got away from a boyfriend who was cruel, abusive, and mentally imbalanced. I was definitely not in love with him. Very early in the relationship we had fun times and were friends, but there followed many years of hardship and dissension. By the time I left I was downright afraid of him - and awful feeling.

After I left the relationship I would have dreams, nearly every night, of the boyfriend and in the dreams, he was gentle and kind - his very best self. I would awaken feeling unsettled and upset. Why dream of this man for whom I did not have loving feelings, a man who it was only good for me to be away from?

Perhaps my subconscious was looking for 'the good' in that man I wanted, at one time, to believe in. I don't know. But after a while I just did my best to accept the dreams and move on, not give them a bunch of attention. I knew I had done the wise thing by leaving the relationship and I decided to allow my subconscious mind to do it's work without me interfering. Eventually the dreams stopped.

[Sesiley]

Usually this is seen when you have lost your virginity to this person....or said, your first. It's totally normal to have these dreams.

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[RoguePhobic]

Hard for me to share but I will try. I will try and make it short BluesyQ . I dated a girl when she was twenty. It had been 22 years since I saw or heard from her. Over those years sure I remembered others but she was THE ONE I thought about. Earlier this year she got in touch with me. Said she had been looking for me for years. I thought WOW, I have been the one she couldn't forget, cool. This might work she knows my quirks and all and still likes me, LOL. Well, to cut it short the woman she was now still had a lot of the bad the younger version of her had. Without respect and trust, No happy ending here. Even though the "heart" wanted it.

[briannathomas06]

if you are thinking of him too often by day, then there is a big chance that you will be dreaming about him at night too. Maybe you should talk to someone about it like your best friend just to let off steam. Maybe its just a phase, it will just pass along.