[dutchess376]

Hi

I'm having a lot of trouble with my dreams at the moment, and my life in general

I have been married for 4 years and last year I crossed the line with a colleague of mine who became a close friend. We got drunk and kissed. Rather than trying to forget about it and move on we stared communicating by email and text as we were both confused about why it had happened (both being in what we thought were stable relationships). We realised that we both felt something for each other and didn't quite know how to handle it. We spent 2 weeks commiunicating, the messages were very emotionally charged, and quite intense but nothing sexual.
We got found out when my husband read my emails. It has destroyed him...he is really struggling to get passed what happened and can't forgive me. He has been incredibly horrible to me as well in the sense that he checks my phone, controls who I'm friends with, doesn't let me go out, doesn't want to
Go out with me..I feel quite trapped but what do I expect I guess?
I go to work and then come home. That's my life. I'm trying to deal with it and I am trying to make things right with him but he is making it very difficult for me to want to be with him when he is treating me like this.

Sorry, this is a back story to what I am really here for!!

So this person that I cheated on my husband with...we work together but not in the same place, same company different offices, so I may only see him once a week for 5-10 mins and occasionally we speak on the phone. After our betrayal became public we weren't aloud to talk or see each other, that's pretty much still the case.
We have not had chance to sit down and talk about what happened and get closure...I openly allowed myself to have feelings for this man and then suddenly I have to stop them completely which is proving harder than I thought.

The thing that isn't helping are my dreams. Whilst I can get through the day okay, I am suddenly faced with these recurring dreams about him. Almost every night!
In all the dreams it's just him and I trying to find the time to talk, with other people always around us watching our every move. Nothing sexual but just the sheer frustration where we just want to spend time together and have a chat and a drink! Occasionally there is more to it but that is the general gist. I wake up feeling really low because I can't seem to get him out of my head and I'm exhausted.i really don't know what this means. I have to stay away from him if i want my marriage to work, plus he has a partner as well but how do I interrupt these dreams!

Anyway ideas, advise??
Please.

[Thunder Bow]

Dreams are all about our feelings, thus the dreams are expressing the feelings of guilt. Best to sit down and talk and get some closure. Other people should keep their noses out of this and not judge you.