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#1
May 26, 2016, 02:35 AM
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my fiancé has very vivid dreams about losing myself and our son.
Not that we leave, but he actually loses us and he spends his whole dream searching for us. The story line changes all the time but it's always about losing/misplacing is. What does this mean? I'd love to find out for him, he gets quite upset every now and then and I can tell it stresses him out. Any opinions or ideas would be much appreciated!
__________________
Sometimes life's so much cooler when you just don't know any better and all the painful lessons have not hammered your head open yet.  Anthony Kiedis
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#2
May 26, 2016, 02:12 PM
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The dreams are caused by his own internal anxiety. He fears losing you both. He may be losing a part of himself as well. Does he ever find you in his dreams?
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 addipaddi, Anrea
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#3
May 26, 2016, 05:17 PM
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Fear of losing the connection to what he values.
Before he sleeps, do this with him and tell him why: Look at me, into my eyes. Words may or may not be needed. Feel the feelings and the fears when we look at each other. Try to allow those to show. Let the smiles happen, let the shyness. Don't hide from each other what you feel might be show, try to release walls that may come up. Feel feelings while you look. Say things to reassure. "I am here. You will not lose me. We are safe. We have made certain nothing outside can get in and harm us when we are vulnerable". Etcetera. If his spirit feels safe as he goes to sleep, it may help. Only time can truly heal deep seated fears. Never repression, but always understanding, growth and eventually - wisdom. At least he is looking for you and not running away.  Marriage is a big step, you are engaged and this will put pressure on core ideas - knowingly or not. Marriage means: I will become more, I will owe, I will be owed, I will do, I will fight, I will give, I will demand, what do they need, what do they want, can I become, and so on and so on.... It is deeply, personally demanding to the psyche and not to be entered into lightly. |
| addipaddi, Out There
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#4
May 26, 2016, 06:37 PM
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Quote:
He has found me a couple of times, but other than that he wakes up before he finds me. Last night he found me but I was with someone else and had a couple more children with that other person.
__________________
Sometimes life's so much cooler when you just don't know any better and all the painful lessons have not hammered your head open yet. Anthony Kiedis
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#5
May 27, 2016, 02:16 PM
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He might had a neglected childhood, that is playing into his dreams. How are your feelings towards him?
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| Anrea, Out There
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| Reply |
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