Afraid to go to sleep

Each night I get about four episodes of sleep paralysis and then lately I've had disturbing nightmares. I never used to get either so frequently but now the paralysis is nightly and the nightmares are at least once or twice a week. I've tried shifting my position, like not laying on my back as I've heard that can induce the paralysis but it didn't work. The only difference it makes is not being able to get out of it faster, feeling things/"people" touching my back, and then sometimes the nightmares. I don't know if other people have experienced this at all. Nights have always been hard for me with my mind not shutting off and insomnia but now I don't want my mind to shut off. I try to be a man about it and not get terrified as I see someone lurking in my door or feel things running up my arm. The only reprieve is knowing I can control, somewhat, my breathing (how fast or slow but not how shallow) and if I shut my eyes.

The nightmares are different though. I can't leave them until, it seems, some dies a horrible death. It seems centered around my past and friends I'm no longer associated with. I have no ill will towards any of them and sadly someone or someone they're presumably close to in my dream is being killed. Like, heads crushed in front of me then they walk back from the dead and tell me I did that to them or I come back to find animals painting with their blood, it's horrifying. Last night, someone was killed in my dream and I picked them up and set them on a table to I guess see if I could revive them. As I was going in to check for a pulse their eyes rolled back in their skull, their head turned 360 degrees, and they realigned broken vertebrae in their neck to make it "straight" again. Maybe I just chicken AF but I bolted out of bed and fixed myself a cup of coffee and said "nope, I don't need anymore sleep tonight."

I'm not really looking forward to going back to sleep tonight.

Hello steelcurtain27: I'm so sorry you are having these awful nightmares! They sound simply horrible! Years ago, I used to experience episodes of sleep paralysis. They were terrifying. So I do know something about that.

For many years I didn't know anything about what sleep paralysis entails, which made the experiences all that much more disturbing. I would simply wake up & be unable to move or make any kind of sound whatsoever. I taught myself to simply focus my attention on the index finger of my right hand & keep trying to move it until I actually could move it. Once I could move just that one finger, then the paralysis would disappear.

I do also recall, a few years ago, when I was in the hospital following an overdose I had taken, I had some very vivid & disturbing dreams. (I'll spare you the details!) Fortunately, as my brain recovered from all of the med's I had taken, the dreams subsided. I hope you can find a way to resolve the ones you are having too.

Skeezyks, thank you for your response. Perhaps, I went into too much detail about my couple of dreams. I never thought about meds playing a possible factor in my nightmares. Maybe I'll have to talk to my psychiatrist about that. I'm sorry you've had to experience sleep paralysis as well, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I've tried moving my arms but maybe I'm focusing too much on a larger limb and should focus on moving just a finger, as you did.
Thanks again for your response

I also noticed that some meds I have taken in the past could give me some pretty strange dreams. I have read several books about SP and I have found this one the most user friendly. Someone once said that knowledge is the antidote for fear.

https://www.amazon.com/Sleep-Paralys...paralysis+book

Thanks Shoe! I'll have to see if that book is at my library or local bookstore, I'm cheap. And now I think I'll even do my own research about my meds to look into so I have information for my next appointment with my psychiatrist.

My friend had similar symptoms and she got diagnosed with sleeping apnea. Please find a doctor and see if that is the case.
For nightmares I live a little light on when I go to sleep. Good luck!

Brasucasulu,
I saw a doctor once before when I was only getting it a few times a year. He was pretty matter of fact about everything and completely clueless about the sleep paralysis. I mean, there's not much that is known but what he did tell me I already knew from a simple Google search but had I said to him, his ego would have been fractured. But I think I might try to find a different doctor now that I'm getting so frequently.