[hadleyrae]

I had something extremely triggering happen last night and took 20-30mg of melatonin so I'd pass out and not be able to hurt myself (and just to avoid being conscious). I vaguely remember writing a suicide note before I fell asleep and telling whoever found me not to let a few people know I'd died (I knew I wasn't going to die; I'm not entirely sure why I wrote it). Then I only remember a little bit of my dream, but I killed myself and saw my ex talking to someone about how he felt about not being invited to my funeral.

[Skeezyks]

[kal1995]

Hadley, I think I understand very much what you're feeling. I had a dream a week or two ago very similar to yours, and it was difficult to put out of my mind and move past. However, once I realized it was just a dream and meant nothing about what I should/would actually do, it was easier. I know that it's far from easy handling the flood of emotions afterwards, but it is possible. You aren't alone ❤

[amandalouise]

I have had this kind off dream before, never wrote the suicide note before going to sleep though. I woke up frightened and my wife put it all in perspective for me.. the events of the dream (people fighting because they were not invited) would not happen. in my location when someone dies regardless of the reason their obituary and a death notice are pubic knowledge by way of the local news papers. whether I want someone to be excluded or not wont be an issue because I will be to put it my wifes words ...dead and gone and cant prevent anyone from attending. things like births and deaths are just a matter of public records here in america. add to that anyone can google anyones name and receive information on that person, not to mention theres social media. I couldnt help but laugh at what for me was the absurdity of my dream after that. it no longer bothers me to have this nightmare any more.

[hadleyrae]

Just an update: I was hospitalized after seeing my therapist later that day. I was released yesterday and while I'm definitely more in a more uncomfortable place for me, I think it's a good uncomfortable.

[Thunder Bow]

The process of healing will always put you in an uncomfortable place.

[JosephRico.]

Pray! God will set you free from those dreams

[Douglas MacNeill]

Originally Posted by hadleyrae

I had something extremely triggering happen last night and took 20-30mg of melatonin so I'd pass out and not be able to hurt myself (and just to avoid being conscious). I vaguely remember writing a suicide note before I fell asleep and telling whoever found me not to let a few people know I'd died (I knew I wasn't going to die; I'm not entirely sure why I wrote it). Then I only remember a little bit of my dream, but I killed myself and saw my ex talking to someone about how he felt about not being invited to my funeral.

How can I help?

[avlady]

I hate nightmares. One of my close friends told me my reality life must be like living in a nightmare because i've had it so bad. am i being punished for doing something wrong?