[KylaMem]

When I started attending school my classmate caught my attention. I always noticed him the most out of all of my classmates and wanted his recognition the most. However I don't think it was a crush or that I've had feelings for him, but it was rather me seeing him as an intellectual equal and only recognizing him. I didn't see him again from when I turned 15 years old, but often heard of him. I didn't have any strong feelings about him leaving, but he always remained a somewhat more memorable person from my school-years. I didn't feel true jealously when he started dating and expressing romantic interest in other girls. I toyed with thoughts of wanting him to be interested in me slightly, but didn't have a real desire for him to pursue me or to get close to him. I don't think I have supressed romantic feelings for him or had at any point of my life, or that I am in denial of it.
However he is the only person I dreamed about having romantic or perhaps more like affectionate interactions with. Never to the point of a kiss, but often about him initiating physical contact towards me, I was never the one to initiate it ,though. In my dreams I also often notice his presence strongly when he is present among other people I know and my attention is on him in these cases. I can see those as the things I wanted from him in real life. I wanted his attention and interest, but I believe in a friendly way. What's interesting is that these kind of dreams persisted through the 6 years after I never saw him again, appearing in the time periods when I'm not concerned with some issue in my life, albeit I am quite sure I lost the interest I used to have in him. I did see him from afar a few times and had no reaction. I suspect that it may be related to the insolved self-esteem and image issues I was conscious of in school-as in the environment he was around in too.
Now I have fallen in love with a woman with whom I am separated by a great distance with. Today I dreamed that we hung out - the first time I have such a dream or a dream about her really, though I have had strong feelings for her for awhile. She was wearing dark reddish brown clothes - something she would wear. Then after awhile of roaming around, the scene changed. She was wearing a pale pink sweater (warmer than the weather would require her to and also uncharacteristic clothes for her)and brought me a basket of oranges. I took one orange from the basket, pressed it to my mouth or cheek area-it was too soft, probably rotten. I hugged her, not sure whether overwhelmed by her gesture or just waiting for the chance to do it, since I often fantasize about being able to hug her. She didn't mind it, though wasn't too into it as well.

Is there more meaning and significance to the difference in how I initiate physical contact with her in my dreams, while with the boy it's him that initiates ( and I'm unresponsive. I appreciate the warmth or human affection, but don't find it more desirable with him than anyone else)

[yugh]

Hi Kyla,
I've learnt from my own dreams that we often use people we know in our dreams for various reasons. Sometimes they are themselves in our "real life". In others they can be symbols of my masculine or feminine. In still others they might be what I call an aspect of myself.

So how's a person to know who's who in what I call the "Dream zoo"? By learning to listen to themselves. If you want to check me out, go this free website I created to assist others by telling them what I've learnt from my dreams Learning From My Dreams | Dream Interpretation ? Learning.

If after reading through the site, you'd still like my assistance, then here's what I'd like you to do. Select two dreams that affect you the most. Then for each of them, I'd like you to do the following...

What I've learnt from my own dreams is that there is nothing in a dream by chance. Therefore, if you answer the following questions, to the best of your recall ability, I will happily give you an interpretation of your dream as if it was mine.

First tell me the number of scenes in your dream. THEN FOR EACH SCENE I want you to tell me the following:

Location:
I want you to look in your mind, as the observer, in the following directions and tell me what you see:
1. To your left.
2. To your right.
3. In front of you.
4. Behind you.
5. Above you.
6. Below you.

It’s all right if you can’t recall much. Simply tell me what you see and make sure I know what direction it is from you the dreamer. In my interpretation, you’ll see how this is a symbol itself.

When you are describing what you see, tell me in as much detail as you can recall about it. So things I am very interested in is what are walls, doors, windows, stairs, tables, etc. made of, age/style, colour, etc. The same goes for anything outside. You’ll see in my interpretations how all of this tells us lots about ourselves.

Lighting:
1. Tell me what the lighting was like, i.e. bright, dull, black, cloudy etc.
2. Then tell me where the light was coming from.
3. Can you tell the time of day or season?
Lighting is important in a dream because it’s a symbol of vibrational state. I’ll explain this during my interpretation for you.

Objects:
If there are any objects in a dream scene, then tell me about them as follows:
1. Shape, size, colour and what they were made of.
2. Where the object is in the dream relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc.

I’ve found objects in dreams are usually symbols of things we first need to concentrate on spiritually. I’ll explain this in the interpretation if you had any objects in any of the scenes.

People:
For each person in a dream scene I want you to do the following:
1. Describe them to me in as much detail as you can recall. This includes age, gender, clothes, colour of the clothes, what the clothes were made of.
2. Tell me where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, below, etc.
3. Tell me if they were lying down, sitting, standing, walking, etc.
4. Tell me what they did with you. Don’t skip the details. Simply tell me exactly what happened.
5. If there are any conversations or thoughts between you and the person or others, then tell me EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID. This is important.
6. If there were others you couldn’t see but felt, then let me know where you felt they were in a scene relative to you the dreamer, i.e. left, right, etc.
7. For people who you know in real life, tell me anything that's different about them in the dream versus the real life version.

Animals. Etc.:
If there were any animals, insects, birds, reptiles, fish or whatever in any of the scenes, then tell me. Describe them in as great as detail as you can recall. Also let me know where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc. Then let me know of any thoughts that passed between you and them.

Thoughts/Feelings:
This is a very important part of every dream scene. Take your time, go back and tell me the following for each scene:
1. What was your first thought/feeling as the dream scene began.
2. Tell me of any thoughts/feeling changes as the dream scene progressed and let me know where in the scene this occurred.
3. Tell me your last thought/feeling as the dream ended.

I realize this is a lot of work. HOWEVER, I think you might be surprised by how much you can learn about yourself from a single scene.

With kind regards,
Guy

[Skeezyks]

Hello KylaMem: I cannot comment with regard to your concerns. However I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!