[seaecho]

I posted about this before, in the past, but my problems are getting worse. I have awful nightmares and (I believe) night terrors. Also, the thing where you are "paralyzed" and half asleep and half awake.

I dream of my ex of over 40 years ago, and they are very bad nightmares where he's being mean to me, chasing me and/or trying to kill me. He was abusive when we were married, but I've not even seen him for 44 years. Why do I keep dreaming of him? I have no thoughts of him when awake. I did stand up to him a few times in my dreams, but lately he is again winning the struggles.

I used to be able to wake myself out of bad dreams almost all of the time. The last two really bad nightmares, I found I had lost this ability. Not good. I was forced to continue on with the nightmare. I put tremendous effort into screaming, and after what seems like a very long time, I finally succeed in yelling for help.

Can anyone tell me how to wake myself up, or change the course of these nightmares? I know people have suggested moving just one finger, etc., but most of the time my eyes are closed and I can't see my fingers, or any part of my body, so that doesn't work. Any suggestions would be so appreciated! I am to the point to where I dread going to sleep at night, whereas I do love to go to sleep (if it's peaceful) and I hate that I have to be haunted like this. Thank you!

[yugh]

Hi,
Based on my own past experiences I would say you are sitting on the edge of a great spiritual voyage if you want to face yourself. I will tell you briefly about myself and then, if you're willing, I will ask you to reply with two nightmares for me to assist you on.

For years, I kept waking up most nights with my heart pounding with people trying to kill me. Today, several years later...they are completely gone. What did I do? I learnt to listen to myself.

The trigger for me to do this was a near death experience where 93% of the people that had what I had are dead instantly. Over 3 years afterwards I began to realize I was carrying a lot of anger in me towards people that had hurt me. I then slowly forgave them.

Then I learnt to meditate. I had stopped and started meditation all my live, in effect going nowhere in a hurry! This time, I had the intent to stick with it. I joined meditation and spiritual circles and kept at it each and every day.

I had started and stopped meditation many times for the first 50 years of my life, in effect going nowhere in a hurry. I had read that when one can touch one's higher self, one definitely "knows" it BUT I had never experienced it. I was now determined to do it. So I joined some meditation and spiritual circles and kept at it.

At first, nothing happened. And then one day, I did connect. It was a glorious "feeling" and then poof! It was gone as my conscious mind took over. I now "knew' why people meditated.

Meanwhile, in parallel, I was keeping a dream journal. In my dreams I realized I was always fleeing others who were trying to kill me.

I then had 3 lucid dreams with my father who died nearly 30 years ago. When one has out of body experiences, it changes one's sense of what they think of "reality".

Then my meditations deepened. I then had a meditation that changed my life. I saw myself as 3 Russian dolls, the types that fit into each other. I saw 3 lives, which I knew where "me" but they weren't me. I came out of that meditation and then the following days went into deep meditations for 2 of them. What I learnt was that I had been killed in violent circumstances, one in the Middle East and the other in central Asia. These meditations really "shook me up". I realized they were what I though of as "past lives".

Now, these "experiences" for one who's not been through them, could easily discount as an overactive imagination, or whatever. But, for myself, I now "knew" more about who I was.

Then I had an experience that is still resonating with me today several years late. I was in a mediation circle. At the end of it, I "felt" a presence. It showed itself to me as a premature young boy. I "knew" it was for the woman sitting beside me. At the time, I only knew she was a schoolteacher and had 2 late teen kids. So I turned to her and asked if I could give her a message. She said yes.

I asked her if she had miscarried a baby boy? She said yes. Then the most wonderful thing I've ever experienced occurred...

The baby boy turned into a man and sent pure unconditional love to me. It was something words can't describe. It went to the very heart of who I am. It only lasted a fraction of a second but it has lasted with me ever since. I broke down and began to cry. The lady began to cry. I then told her, her son was telling me that he was always with her. She then replied a medium had brought him through before but she was so glad to know it once again.

He was a teacher for me. He showed me what all of us are at our soul level.

It wasn't long afterwards, one day while I was trying to interpret my dreams that the idea came to me to use my higher self, which I could now access through meditation to assist me in interpreting my dreams. This was when my dream gates swung wide open.

I then decided to forgive those who had killed me in some of my other lives. This was another stage in my healing journey.

I then discovered I had guides, some in the form of animal, bird, fish and insect totems who were guiding me.

I have learnt much about myself. Now, whenever possible, I assist others.

Okay, that's a high level fly over of my own journey. You are the captain of your own ship and your journey and path is unique to you.

You, reading this, might be saying something like "Well that's good for you Guy, BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?"

Here are some of my initial thoughts and suggestions.

Nightmares are one of the most powerful teaching tools we have. Why? I have learnt that we effectively have what I call a "belief suit" around us that limits our connections to the greater us, to our higher self or over soul or whatever one wants to call it. The 'greater us' is trying to get through to us to tell us to listen to ourselves but our current beliefs restrict this.

So, one of the ways to do this, is to use strong emotional events in our dreams such that we not only recall them but learn to listen to them and not simply discard it as a "weird dream'. I think your ex and people trying to kill you are likely symbols of yourself, other lives and what could be called "belief baggage" you are carrying around with you.

The way to deal with this is to first of all understand what the messages are that you are scaring yourself with. So, if you're willing, I suggest you take two samples of recurring dreams that stick out in your mind and tell me about them. At the end of this posting are questions to answer in telling me about your dreams. If you reply, I will happily give you an interpretation of your dream as if it was mine.

Now, you are very scared of your sleep paralysis and, from your perspective, rightfully so. I, on the other hand, view it as you at the edge of a great spiritual adventure. You are on the edge of out of body experiences.

The first thing to do is to learn about this. A year and a half ago, I felt compelled to document what I have learnt and to create a free website. I did. It's called "learningfrommydreams" dot com. If you go there, click on the resources. There, you;ll find many, many different ways to learn about yourself. I suggest you do the following, if you're interested.

Read Robert Monroe's three books in order. He is a man, now dead, who coined the term out of body experiences or OBE. He was a very successful businessman who had a problem...he kept leaving his body. So he went to doctors who told him he was sane and well. In the end he decided to go with it.

He bought some property in Virginia, created the Monroe Institute, and began tostudy our of body experiences. You can find the link to the Monroe Institute on the resources section as well.

From me to you, you need to be able to spiritually "tune into yourself". This is the way to learn to face yourself. One of the best ways is to learn to meditate.

There are many, many different ways to do this. On "learningfrommydreams" dot com, there is a whole page devoted to different ways to learn to meditate. I suggest you scan them. If one resonates with you then do it.

I suggest to people that they do it for 10-15 minutes each day. When you start, try to do it at the same time to get in the habit of doing it. Before each session, don't have any expectations. Simply ask your guides for guidance.

At first, nothing will happen. Keep it up, day after day, week after week, month after month. The first thing I think you'll learn is how to "centre yourself". Whenever you get into a stressful situation, you can learn to quickly go to your core and realize you are a wonderful person. This helps then put in perspective the stressful situation you are in.

Next, you will likely take yourself on wonderful spiritual journeys. Some will not always be pleasant. All will be teachers to yourself.

There are other ways of approaching your problems...

You could find a psychologist who uses Michael Newton's Newton Institute practices to hypnotize you and take you to live between live and past life regression. He is a psychologist who about 30 years ago used some words on a patient under hypnosis that took her to a place she called a life between lives. He then used the same words on subsequent patients and they too went to a similar place and had similar stories.

On my website, under resources, are links to books he's written as well as the Newton Institute. He's trained several hundred people to use his techniques. I have never gone because I don't need to. However, I have sent a few people I know to psychologists using his techniques and it was life changing for them.

Okay, well there is enough here for you to "chew on". If you're still interested in me assisting you with your two nightmares you're going to select then here's what I'd like you to do...

What I've learnt from my own dreams is that there is nothing in a dream by chance. Therefore, if you answer the following questions, to the best of your recall ability, I will happily give you an interpretation of your dream as if it was mine.

First tell me the number of scenes in your dream. THEN FOR EACH SCENE I want you to tell me the following:

Location:
I want you to look in your mind, as the observer, in the following directions and tell me what you see:
1. To your left.
2. To your right.
3. In front of you.
4. Behind you.
5. Above you.
6. Below you.

It’s all right if you can’t recall much. Simply tell me what you see and make sure I know what direction it is from you the dreamer. In my interpretation, you’ll see how this is a symbol itself.

When you are describing what you see, tell me in as much detail as you can recall about it. So things I am very interested in is what are walls, doors, windows, stairs, tables, etc. made of, age/style, colour, etc. The same goes for anything outside. You’ll see in my interpretations how all of this tells us lots about ourselves.

Lighting:
1. Tell me what the lighting was like, i.e. bright, dull, black, cloudy etc.
2. Then tell me where the light was coming from.
3. Can you tell the time of day or season?
Lighting is important in a dream because it’s a symbol of vibrational state. I’ll explain this during my interpretation for you.

Objects:
If there are any objects in a dream scene, then tell me about them as follows:
1. Shape, size, colour and what they were made of.
2. Where the object is in the dream relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc.

I’ve found objects in dreams are usually symbols of things we first need to concentrate on spiritually. I’ll explain this in the interpretation if you had any objects in any of the scenes.

People:
For each person in a dream scene I want you to do the following:
1. Describe them to me in as much detail as you can recall. This includes age, gender, clothes, colour of the clothes, what the clothes were made of.
2. Tell me where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, below, etc.
3. Tell me if they were lying down, sitting, standing, walking, etc.
4. Tell me what they did with you. Don’t skip the details. Simply tell me exactly what happened.
5. If there are any conversations or thoughts between you and the person or others, then tell me EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID. This is important.
6. If there were others you couldn’t see but felt, then let me know where you felt they were in a scene relative to you the dreamer, i.e. left, right, etc.

Animals. Etc.:
If there were any animals, insects, birds, reptiles, fish or whatever in any of the scenes, then tell me. Describe them in as great as detail as you can recall. Also let me know where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc. Then let me know of any thoughts that passed between you and them.

Thoughts/Feelings:
This is a very important part of every dream scene. Take your time, go back and tell me the following for each scene:
1. What was your first thought/feeling as the dream scene began.
2. Tell me of any thoughts/feeling changes as the dream scene progressed and let me know where in the scene this occurred.
3. Tell me your last thought/feeling as the dream ended.

I realize this is a lot of work. HOWEVER, I think you might be surprised by how much you can learn about yourself from a single scene.

With kind regards,
Guy

[Thunder Bow]

Look at how you are feeling in real life. Are you in a situation that reminds you of him? Are you trying to get out of this situation?

[seaecho]

Guy, I really appreciate the time you took to ask the questions and tell me your story. However, unless I have just awakened from the dream, I can't remember details. All I can remember now is that he was chasing me. Nothing else. I will try to write my next one down when it's fresh in my mind.

Thunder Bow, no. I'm not in a situation that reminds me of him. No situation I'm trying to get out of either. I have a huge phobia of medical settings and hospitals. That is the only thing I am truly afraid of, and it's huge.

[Perna]

Hi, seaecho. In my experience the dream is trying to tell me something so if I acknowledge that and that I'm "listening" to what it might have to say, it won't work so hard to get me to pay attention? Accept with yourself that it is just a dream and be curious about it?

I know I had lots of difficult dreams when I was in therapy but learned they were trying to help me/tell me something and it was "okay" that they were difficult because that meant I was strong enough to work with them and face whatever they were showing me? It could be it has just taken you 44 years to be in a place where you can face what went on with your husband and now you behaved, etc. You said you have your eyes closed in the dream, can't see your fingers? I would try to open my eyes and "see" for a first step. When being chased in a dream, turning around and confronting what is chasing you often helps. As long as you run you will still be chased, nothing can change that way?

[Thunder Bow]

Dreams can be mirrors. Thus your ex could be mirroring a part of yourself, and inner conflict. Anxiety often causes bad dreams. Try talking to him inside yourself, and see what he is trying to tell you. This part of yourself.

[yugh]

These are wise words from Perna.

Originally Posted by Perna

Hi, seaecho. In my experience the dream is trying to tell me something so if I acknowledge that and that I'm "listening" to what it might have to say, it won't work so hard to get me to pay attention? Accept with yourself that it is just a dream and be curious about it?

I know I had lots of difficult dreams when I was in therapy but learned they were trying to help me/tell me something and it was "okay" that they were difficult because that meant I was strong enough to work with them and face whatever they were showing me? It could be it has just taken you 44 years to be in a place where you can face what went on with your husband and now you behaved, etc. You said you have your eyes closed in the dream, can't see your fingers? I would try to open my eyes and "see" for a first step. When being chased in a dream, turning around and confronting what is chasing you often helps. As long as you run you will still be chased, nothing can change that way?

[seaecho]

Thanks all. I have tried to "control" my dreams, but have rarely had luck. I have faced people who were chasing me, but most of the time I don't have success in getting them to leave me alone. I have had bad dreams for at least 20 years now. I am on Propanolol. I have heard it can cause bad dreams. Anyone had this experience with it?

[Inthetrees]

Try attcking the situation backwards.
When going to sleep tell yourself, "I give myself permisson to sleep peacefully tonight." Repeat it a couple times until you feel confident when saying it. See what happens.

[Aardwolf]

I'll let you know what worked for me.

I always wear a watch. It's a bright red casio brick, that you would probably brain someone with - but i digress. I learnt to become "self aware" in my dreams by conducting a "time check" literaly constantly while awake. Naturally in my dreams I eventually did the same. When I checked the time in my dream the "switch" flicked and I became lucid and self aware than i was dreaming.
You then have control over your dream. I often immediatley changed where I was, to somewhere that calmed me and allowed myself to slip out of being concious.
The above is called a "reality test" - The display on my watch would NEVER show a time, it would be some pattern of "stuff" - Whenever I looked away and then back the pattern would change, or it would be showing as the year 2045 or something.. This allowed my concious to go "hey, hang on a minute" and take hold of the reins so to speak.

Your mileage may vary. I wish you the best of luck !

This link may help you - http://www.lucidity.com/LucidDreamin...ml#realitytest

[seaecho]

Intheteees, I am going to try your suggestion. I've never done that before, and it's worth a try! ACQPL, how interesting! I've had very few few times where I had any control over my dreams, but this sounds awesome! And how strange that your watch in your dreams never shows a time. I must say you're inventive! And thank you for the link. I'm going to read it right now.

[seaecho]

Just read your link, ACQPL. I am going to follow the instructions and see what happens! Again, thank you.

[Brasucasulu]

I've been struggling with nightmares for many years.
My trick to be able to control the are these two:

I keep repeating "Wake up! Wake up!" Until I'm sure I'm 100% awake.
I also drink a lot of water before bed time. So that I have to wake up a couple of times to go to toilet, which it many time is in the middle of a nightmare.

[seaecho]

I'll try telling myself to wake up. Thank you-- I had forgotten about this thread.