[ADeepSandbox]

I have had horrific nightmares my entire life, ever since I was quite young. I have non-combat-related PTSD and have been given a med to help me sleep (clonidine), but I take it PRN and try not to take it often. I really should have taken it last night. I had a terrible nightmare last night and it's so bad I'm scared to even talk to anyone about it...so I'm here instead.




TRIGGER WARNING FOR UPSETTING ANIMAL DEATH IN A DREAM








I dreamed that I swallowed a live kitten whole. A tiny white kitten with a black spot on its left ear. It was so small and fragile and helpless, and I don't know how or why I swallowed it but in the dream I was horrified beyond belief. I was trying to make myself vomit to bring it back up but it wouldn't work. The poor thing was inside me dying and I wanted to take a knife and cut myself open to get it out.

I kept thinking about the poor thing suffocating or being dissolved alive by my stomach acid. Knowing it was so vulnerable and tiny and suffering, why did this happen?

I was then surrounded by the other kittens in the litter. They were all precious and adorable little kittens, barely with their eyes open. I kept looking for the one I swallowed, hoping to find it somehow among them, but it wasn't there.

I love cats, I have a much-beloved 16-year-old gray tabby who is my heart. I would never hurt a cat. I would never hurt any animal. I am beyond horrified at this dream. I want these images out of my head and these feelings of helpless horror out of my heart. It makes me hate myself. Even in the dream I was aware enough to be traumatized by it.

My nightmares are more typically about the violent accidental death of people I love, and the end of the world, and about being harmed by others. I don't know why this is happening. I've never had a nightmare like this before where I'm the one doing something unspeakable. I just started Prozac a week ago, maybe it's a reaction to/side effect of the drug?

I'm taking the clonidine tonight, I don't want to dream anymore. I don't want to dream ever again. My dreams are always nightmares. I hate this. What is wrong with me. Why have I always been like this.

(Not that I think anybody here can answer any of this or whether I even want you to try, I just really needed to vent my absolute horror over this. I keep feeling pressure in my stomach and nauseous today from the memory.)

[Gojamadar]

Hi;

I was trying to make myself vomit to bring it back up but it wouldn't work.

The dream happened because you were actually feeling sick during the sleep. It maybe that something you eat, drink or take as medicine makes you feel like vomitting.
The problem is urgent and you should see your doctor or therapist who prescribed your medication.

[ADeepSandbox]

Thank you but I don't think that's it and my next psychiatrist appointment isn't for another six weeks. I felt fine physically before and after bed and don't have any health problems. It's the dream that made me feel sick because of what I did in the dream and being unable to get that out of my head.

[Gojamadar]

Originally Posted by ADeepSandbox

Thank you but I don't think that's it and my next psychiatrist appointment isn't for another six weeks. I felt fine physically before and after bed and don't have any health problems. It's the dream that made me feel sick because of what I did in the dream and being unable to get that out of my head.

Hi,
The subconscious always creates the dream to respond to and remedy aproblem that happens during during sleep.
If you read the instructions on hour medication, I'm sure you'll find that some of them may cause the problems that your dreams indicate.
Dreams are dreamt to help you, they may indicate what is happening to you during sleep and what is causing the dreams.

[Thunder Bow]

Swallowing the kitten means you are swallowing a part of yourself. I think it relates to all the medications you are taking, and you feel they are killing that part of you. A part of you that is yet to open its eyes. See your doctor about getting off the meds. Prozac is to powerful and has unwanted side effects.

[ADeepSandbox]

??? Where are you guys getting this from? I am absolutely not "getting off the meds," I have been struggling with depression for over two years and anxiety all my life and finally have hope that I might actually be able to feel better thanks to medication. I have only been on medication for two weeks and other than possibly this nightmare have had no side effects. I am in good health and work out and have no health issues aside from being mentally ill.

Thank you for responding but I am not looking for medical advice. I guess I was just hoping for some sympathy from others who also suffer from nightmares. I am just going to stop responding now, I did not ask for medical advice. I have my doctor for that.

[Have Faith]

I dream in color, sound and smell. I dream of rotting bodies and of my children getting slaughtered in front of me. I hate it!

[shortandcute]

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Have Faith

I dream in color, sound and smell. I dream of rotting bodies and of my children getting slaughtered in front of me. I hate it!

[joacobanfield]

I'm so sorry for your experience. Were you agitated that night? I find that some music, or white noise (like a fan) help me relax before sleep and improve the quality of my dreams.
Perhaps you could try that? I know nothing about meds, so this is as far as my advice can go.

[June81280]

If been having nightmare for years. The last one I had was my baby falling in a canal and I can't see under the water to save her.... Two nights ago...... It's pdsd..... I sleep with the TV on and it kinda helps

[Thunder Bow]

Originally Posted by June81280

If been having nightmare for years. The last one I had was my baby falling in a canal and I can't see under the water to save her.... Two nights ago...... It's pdsd..... I sleep with the TV on and it kinda helps

The baby may represent you. The dream may mean you have a hard time seeing yourself. Or you you have a hard time seeing your self in a certain kind of real life situation. Or your baby in that situation.