[destroyedlife]

Hello,
I am starting to worry. Gradually I sleep more and more. I don't know how to call it. Hibernation? Vampire? First off, I feel better in dark places and at night time. Day and dawn especially frightens me! In the dawn if I have to wake up forcefully to go somewhere (very rarely) I feel very anxious and very scared. Dawn is really scary to me Why? I start to function best when night falls. I feel most energized at night. But this starts to scare me. I fell asleep 5:30 AM it was still dark, but I woke up at 5:15 PM!!! Basically 12 hours of sleep, and it was already sunset. I somehow don't like day. I am in mostly dark room and I very rarely go out of, mostly dark, house. In this year just 5 times I were out of house. I like winter because night is very long then and sunrise is very late, 7AM or even later. But I got scared at summer. I get panic attacks and extreme anxiety when I can't fall asleep and it's dawning and birds start to chirp. It makes me so anxious that I more often just stay awake the rest of the day and sleep at noon or afternoon. I am like vampire, I dislike day. I don't function at daytime. Luckily I am vegetarian hehe. But I seen so much of bad things that happen if you oversleep. Higher risk of death... Coronary diseases etc. It's common symptom of depression. Oversleeping... But, I don't feel depressed. I am on antidepressant, not too high dose, not too low. Often I use sleep aid, but it isn't the cause of oversleeping. I am sure. When I don't take it it is same result. My psychiatrist said it's in genetics (my father did have similar symptoms) and that they can't do anything to put me into rhythm. So I gave up also. I don't care of rhythm. I don't, luckily, have to work. But it frightens me that I am in bed from 1 AM till 5PM!!! I have effectively 8 hours of "not in bed" state per day. I can't actually do anything concrete with so little time. Me and mom are in horrible existential situation. And she started to greatly oversleep. But I am sure we aren't depressed. I passed through depression. Lack of interest, feel of sadness, feel of worthlessness, suicidal thoughts etc. I had that, but I don't have it anymore. In fact, I feel quite happy. So... What is going on? Will I really die much earlier if I continue sleeping for 12 hours or more? I know that some times, especially during longer periods of daytime, I sometimes tend to undersleep even! Sometimes I just, out of the blue, start waking at 10AM, or even 8AM!!!! Just like that! Nothing changes, but that period lasts usually from week to maybe 3 weeks. Than it's back to oversleeping. Than it changes again. And I really don't have and can't have consistent sleeping pattern. If I go to sleep at 10PM, I can't fall asleep until 3-4AM no chance. And I set up alarm and try to stay awake so I can fall asleep easier next night, but at 2PM I get so strong fatigue that I collapse to bed and just sleep what I didn't last night. I was thinking of using stimulans to stay awake... But I took about 10 grams of guarana (equals to some 30 cups of coffee) and I thought I will stay awake. I felt tired and I slept just fine even with so much caffeine in my bloodstream. How can I get it to at least 9 hours per day? Please help I am not obese, I am not diabetic, I don't feel depressed... I don't drink anything that may make me so sleepy... But I just sleep and sleep...

Thank you for any constructive comments!

[eeeyore]

Hello, I had a similar 'vampirization' and a similar sleeping cycle (from 4 AM to 4 PM) before getting psychiatric attention. Now every medication makes me sleepy before 4 AM.
I'm happy too, but I have depression, can you work/study and socialize?
The length of your sleep isn't necessarily a problem.

[eeeyore]

"An extreme sensitivity to noise, light, colours, textures" is also one of the symptoms of the prodromal stage of psychosis, you can read more about it here:
Early Psychosis Intervention - Canadian Mental Health Association, Toronto BranchCanadian Mental Health Association, Toronto Branch

I hope that we are just vampires

[Thunder Bow]

Work the night shift?

[destroyedlife]

Ohh hello! Sorry for the delay... No, I don't work, am disabled. I know, I have diagnosed psychosis but I don't feel any symptoms of it (I had OCD, but that's past now). Now it's just code on which basis I get social welfare money... Yeah, I reap the country lol

Anyway, I was with my psychiatrist some day ago... She said that either I will change or I will live this life indefinitely. Well, I found some answers that may be the explanation of my case. It's supposedly the brain reaction to "there is nothing worth waking up for" state. So, like in polar bears they go to hibernation. Well, in my country there is both strong winter and strong summer. So I find to be more hibernative and less interested in anything during the winter. But there is no exact pattern. Today I woke up just a bit after noon. Sometimes I go in hyperactive mode. It occurs in summer sometimes, but not so often, when I sleep 5 hours or even less even when taking strong medications. There just isn't and can't be any pattern to my sleep. I never go to sleep before 00:00, very rarely. My psych said I should try to wake up every morning before 11AM and don't go to sleep until my time and so on, day after day. It's not just impossible, because I succumb to fatigue at 5-6PM if I break up my sleep earlier. It's like narcolepsy. I could try stimulans as Modafinil, but there is second thing... It's needless... I will never work and I can have pattern from 11PM to 8AM for what? I just don't like mornings. And even if I establish pattern, there may come day I stay late until 2AM and all this I was getting used to goes to waste. So... I told my psych I don't need help (and she said immediately that she cannot help anymore) and I said I will live like this. The problems which I encounter with my sleep pattern is that I will never have girlfriend, it's impossible to maintain any relationship in this way. And they envy me sleeping and money dropping on my debit card. So... I lose here... I am virgin and have already started to praise my virginity more than to cry about it. There's lot of porn out there lol XD Anyway... My wish was to share my story, so I can see I am not only one. eeeyore thanks for being my friend in trouble hehe Anyway I feel quite good despite that I am living in incredible stressful and horrible conditions. That's what my psych didn't expect. Even without taking some meds that she thinks I am taking. I just... don't. And I feel really good. I don't encourage anyone to be their own doctor. I am unique example where I know how I feel under various chemicals and how I react and also I have support from my mother. To end this in good positive way; I was taking Geodon (Ziprasidone) as antipsychotic, I saw no positives from it and removed it by myself, gradually. Just as I went out from hospital. In first check up that came after rejecting meds my psych said I seem to be better than ever before! haha lol! Yeah, I do... Cause problems just make me stronger. Hope you will be inspired to fight against problem, with will first than with meds!

Cheers!

[eeeyore]

It's strange that no med can make you sleepy, I agree with you on that there is no point in treating it if you have bigger problems and YES, no girlfriend, we don't need more problems.

[Thunder Bow]

Yes, fighting and winning over problems do make you stronger. You have some acomplishments to be proud about.

[destroyedlife]

Thank you Thunder Bow I feel really good. I am turning to hermit. Yeah, I like it really. Soon I will go to even more secluded part of my country. So peaceful, nobody there... I love it there. My father was really solitary person. He did went to his library in house and rarely came out. So, genes I think XD I love my country and my continent and I fell happy

eeeyore, I would like to befriend you You are from old continent So I'll send you friend request on PM. We can talk in detail more over PM Are you from Germany or somewhere near? I am open to inviting you to seaside as friend one day... Heals the soul! So... Keep your chin up! Everyone... Happiness is in your mind, only you can make yourself happy I felt so bored few months ago... Than now I have so many interests... Listening to so much songs on youtube... And videos, documentaries, politics, army, history, everything... I can't do all in 10 lives XD

Cheers