[alcollins]

So my dreams recently have kept me from wanting to go to bed. When I was still in therapy, my counselor suggested they're from PTSD, but never explicitly explained what they meant, or what causes them to start.

Precursor: I left my immediate family Oct. 2018 on very bad terms. I had to take the most important things in a single storage bin. I lived with friends and now on my own ever since then.

General dream: I'm back home with my family. I'm being treated the way they always treated me-- like the bottom of the food chain. They gossip about people they say they love, and yell or punish me as if I wasn't gone for a year. I wonder why I'm back, as I believe my friends who helped wouldn't let me start over and stay with them again.

A more detailed scenario in a recent dream of this pattern:

Possible trigger:

I decided to go home. I had things I wanted back in my life that I couldn’t take originally. Mostly, I wanted to see my family. I knew I’d be manipulated for leaving. I knew my mom would tell me how I’ve destroyed my life and their relationship. But she told me if I ever betrayed her and came back, her arms would be open. I wanted that to be true. But, as I went to my room, I was greeted by my sister. She held a broom handle, and as I got closer, she beat me with it. The pain went on for a while as all her aggressions came out against me. I cried and asked why she was beating me. She made me swear to never come back, then walked away with me on the floor. I cried the rest of my dream. I got up, grabbed a coat I knew was still in my room and tried to leave quietly. My mom, however, was waiting at the front door. She told me to take the coat off, as it was my sister’s now. I took it off and walked to my current home, where everyone saw the blood and welts all over my body. Then I finally forced myself awake.

I don’t know if it is anything more than my brain processing things to an extreme, or if there is something more going on that I’m not catching. The other dream when it’s not so specific is the driving with no brakes. I’ve read what that means, but I don’t know if those are tied together or not. Has anyone else had recurring dreams similar to this? Were they told what it meant, more than just “past traumas”?

[Thunder Bow]

Memories From childhood abuse maybe. Also look at your real life situation. Also see if you are beating your self to much. Are you in an abusive work situation or relationship? Seems like you have left those situations behind now.

[Skeezyks]

Here are links to 4 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of dream interpretation. Perhaps they can be of some help:

Interpret Your Own Dreams - Some Guidelines | Healing Together for Couples

The Transformative Power of Dreams

How to Analyze Your Dreams (And Why It's Important)

9 Common Questions About Dreams Answered

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by alcollins

So my dreams recently have kept me from wanting to go to bed. When I was still in therapy, my counselor suggested they're from PTSD, but never explicitly explained what they meant, or what causes them to start.

Precursor: I left my immediate family Oct. 2018 on very bad terms. I had to take the most important things in a single storage bin. I lived with friends and now on my own ever since then.

General dream: I'm back home with my family. I'm being treated the way they always treated me-- like the bottom of the food chain. They gossip about people they say they love, and yell or punish me as if I wasn't gone for a year. I wonder why I'm back, as I believe my friends who helped wouldn't let me start over and stay with them again.

A more detailed scenario in a recent dream of this pattern:

Possible trigger:

I decided to go home. I had things I wanted back in my life that I couldn’t take originally. Mostly, I wanted to see my family. I knew I’d be manipulated for leaving. I knew my mom would tell me how I’ve destroyed my life and their relationship. But she told me if I ever betrayed her and came back, her arms would be open. I wanted that to be true. But, as I went to my room, I was greeted by my sister. She held a broom handle, and as I got closer, she beat me with it. The pain went on for a while as all her aggressions came out against me. I cried and asked why she was beating me. She made me swear to never come back, then walked away with me on the floor. I cried the rest of my dream. I got up, grabbed a coat I knew was still in my room and tried to leave quietly. My mom, however, was waiting at the front door. She told me to take the coat off, as it was my sister’s now. I took it off and walked to my current home, where everyone saw the blood and welts all over my body. Then I finally forced myself awake.

I don’t know if it is anything more than my brain processing things to an extreme, or if there is something more going on that I’m not catching. The other dream when it’s not so specific is the driving with no brakes. I’ve read what that means, but I don’t know if those are tied together or not. Has anyone else had recurring dreams similar to this? Were they told what it meant, more than just “past traumas”?

Yes! All the time! My are from bad memories!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Memories From childhood abuse maybe. Also look at your real life situation. Also see if you are beating your self to much. Are you in an abusive work situation or relationship? Seems like you have left those situations behind now.

That great advice!I wish that I had thought about that myself!

[alcollins]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Memories From childhood abuse maybe. Also look at your real life situation. Also see if you are beating your self to much. Are you in an abusive work situation or relationship? Seems like you have left those situations behind now.

I hadn't thought about it being me beating myself up. My therapist said it could be guilt. Your wording helped a lot. I do tend to punish myself a lot in this field.

[kreg]

You may find this incredibly naive, stupid, offensive but it's not. You can free yourself from the influence of these people by mentally sending love into that situation and to them. Rephrase-maybe not totally free yourself but go a long way in the direction of relief. You send love mentally by just saying it to yourself. You're not praying to God or Jesus or whomever. You just take a moment and say something like "I send love into this situation and the people involved" Name them. Do this maybe three times a day for some days. You Will see results. Stay away from them even if for the rest of your life if it works out that way. Go your own way. The love you send will work on them and on your own mind. It's only common sense that if you entertain hate and stress that is negative energy you put into your personality and you reap the results.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Here are links to 4 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of dream interpretation. Perhaps they can be of some help:

Interpret Your Own Dreams - Some Guidelines | Healing Together for Couples

The Transformative Power of Dreams

How to Analyze Your Dreams (And Why It's Important)

9 Common Questions About Dreams Answered

Great advice!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by alcollins

I hadn't thought about it being me beating myself up. My therapist said it could be guilt. Your wording helped a lot. I do tend to punish myself a lot in this field.

That is great advice!

[LeeeLeee]

Great advice in this thread. One thing I'd like to point out is that you have every right to want a life that is free from abuse. Our abusers will argue with us about that. It's all very confusing when our abusers are family members and we have this underlying sense of obligation to do whatever they think we should do. What matters most is the peaceful life you envision for yourself and how you're going to go about creating that and cultivating that. Don't listen to people who are violent. They have their own problems. Keep boundaries. It is very important for someone in your situation to see a counselor and visit the forum regularly.

Our dreams have a unique way of guiding us. Not every dream means something but the ones with powerful emotions are the dreams we need to review. The best interpreter of our dreams is the dreamer themselves because only YOU know your archetypes. Try using a dream journal and a simple highlighter. Highlight all the parts YOU believe are significant and then carefully write out all the emotions and, if possible, the specific situation it might be tied to. I think you will find lots of information in that exercise.

Hope you are able to have more restful sleep very soon, collins.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you've had to put up with this, alcollins I agree with all the others. It's probably bad memories from your childhood that are coming back. Perhaps you still need some more time to move on completely. These scars are not easy to deal with. Just try to move on and do your best at life, like you're alredy doing. Avoid contacting them ever again if you can. You don't need more toxic people in your life. Stay away from them as much as you can. Don't feel guilty about it. You need to take care of yourself after all. It's just self-preservation. I hope you'll feel better soon. We're here for you if you need it. We'll listen to what you have to say and won't judge you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you