[lifelesstraveled]

((((everyone))))

I am so glad this board was created

I have been having some of the most insane dreams these past couple of weeks. I don't remember all of the specifics about them in two of them, I am screaming at my mother for not taking care of me the way she should have and for being so wrapped up in her own world and her relationship with God, which I don't have a problem with, but she cared more about that than she did her children. she didn't see how miserable I was. I told her I heard the conversation she had with my father and twin about how she really didn't like me (long story, but I heard them talking about me when I was 16 and i found out--curiosity killed that cat-- that no one in my family liked me). I was screaming at her and telling her she thinks she knows who I am, but she really doesnt. She thinks we have this OK relationship, when I really do not like her very much, I am just good at faking it.

I had another one last night where I was screaming at my sister who is 12 years older than me for torturing me when I was 6 (or younger). She used to pin me to the floor and trap me and/or tickle me and I hated it. In the dream I told her she was a horrible person for picking on someone too small to defend herself and that she is probably one of the reasons why I have so much anxiety now. And in the dream I yelled at my mom for not making her stop.

It's so weird, because in these dreams I could literally feel the anger and almost hear the screaming as if it were happening right in the room I was presently sleeping in. I am assuming that these are things I probably need to get off my chest in real life, but I can't.

I don't know. I just wanted to share these two dreams. I don't really want a reply. Thanks for reading

[sleeplessgirl]

I know that you said that you didn't really want any replies, but your story is so touching and my question to you is, "have you ever talked to someone besides you family about these issues?" It sounds as if you have alot of emotions that have been repressed and now they are starting to manifest themselves in your dreams.
I hope that you can come to terms with your family issues and good luck Lifelesstraveled!!!!!

Thanks for sharing

It's weird when you called what so many people thing is just teasing as taking advantage of someone to weak to defend themselves, like "Wow I never thought it it that way."

[lifelesstraveled]

Originally Posted by sleeplessgirl

I know that you said that you didn't really want any replies, but your story is so touching and my question to you is, "have you ever talked to someone besides you family about these issues?" It sounds as if you have alot of emotions that have been repressed and now they are starting to manifest themselves in your dreams.
I hope that you can come to terms with your family issues and good luck Lifelesstraveled!!!!!

Hi Sleeplessgirl,
Thank you for reading my thread. Yes, I am in therapy, but I haven't really told my T any of this in depth. I kind of skimmed over the issues- she says I minimize them. She is very much aware that I have a TON of repressed emotions/feelings and thoughts that weren't "OK" to express growing up and she is working on that (among other things) with me.

Thanks again.

[wickedwings]

Lifelesstraveled, I am glad that you were able to share with us. I do wish the best for you.

I've had anger in real life manifest in my dreams. Once in a great while, someone would say something to me and I didn't understand what the person said. I'm profoundly deaf and can lip-read up to a point. I would ask them to repeat what they said and they would just say, "Never mind." It's just so insulting to me. I also deal with people who don't realize my needs, don't care to make the effort, or talk too fast.

In my dream, I would scream, "I'm deaf! You idiots!" or something similar. I would be on a tirade and hurling cuss words at whoever I had an issue in reality. Even though, I'm quite upfront about what I needed from them in terms of communication, my feelings end up in my dreams for me to vent. It's like a release valve, you know?

Take care

[sleeplessgirl]

Good to hear that you are seeing someone. You say that you minimize things so maybe next time when you see your therapist why don't you try to confront things head on and really open up the next time and see how you feel after that. Sometimes just hearing yourself say something out loud really helps and it also gets you to thinking less about the issue and even moving you to help resolving said issues. Just a thought!!! Thanks for the info.