[jbug]

I feel so guilty because I told myself that as soon as the price of cigarettes went up due to the extra tax being added to them that I was going to quit. Well that lasted about a week. I found myself at my neighbor's bumming a cigarette off of him and the next day making a run to Missouri to get me a pack. I go to Missouri because they are cheaper up there. They don't tax them as much as we do here in Arkansas.

Now every time I go to my parents house I end up finding a reason to get money and get cigarettes. My parents live close the Missouri state line so I guess I figure well I'm up here anyway I might as well go to the line.

I don't smoke every day because I can't afford to buy a carton so I only buy 2-3 packs at a time. The real bad problem is that when I do get them I binge smoke them and end up smoking 2 packs in one day.

I need to just bite the proverbial bullet and quit once and for all but this addiction is so hard for me to quit. I would like to throttle the cigarette company for making them so addicting. Then I would like to go back in time and kick myself for buying that first pack.

Jan

[sunflower55]

Jan,
I hear you, and understand what you're going through.
Please know that your anger at the sickarette companies will only keep *you* stuck, though! There's a saying about resentments in AA. "Holding a resentement is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to die." In short, this resentment against the sickarette company is making *you* sick! Anger is one of the common triggers for which we reach for a sickarette to relieve ourselves of that feeling, yes? So, we remain stuck.

We cannot change what has already happened. All of us have on this forum have already fallen prey to nicotine addiction. And we did so willingly. None of us had a gun to our heads while we smoked! And we practiced that behavior over and over, even as it made us gag. Now each of us has a responsibility to ourselves to stop. It won't be easy, but then again, it wasnt' easy to start. Remember how we coughed when we began smoking?

That's why it's so great that DocJohn gave us this forum!!!
Now we can support each other, through our ups and downs. Share what works with each other.

Do you have a quit date set? For most people, that helps. But, some studies show that for some, a spur of the moment decision is the right thing. I suggest we set a date. If that "spur" hits you, well, go for it!

We will make it!

Peace!

[jbug]

I will set my quit date as Memorial Day May 25. I think that will give me time to get it through my thick skull that this is it. No more and I will throw my lighters away and my ashtray for good this time. I will have to think of reasons why I don't need to go to Missouri. Yes the gas is cheaper but not that much and I don't have my friend that works at the store up there anymore so I don't need to go that Walmart. So I can come up reasons not to go to the Missouri Walmart.

Jan

[sunflower55]

That's a great start, Jan!!!
Now, how about making a list of all the reasons why you want to quit smoking?
We can even start a thread right here if it helps. In fact, I think that's a great idea!!

If everyone adds to it, we'll see other reasons we may want ourselves that we hadn't thought of ourselves. And that will only add to our own!

Peace!