Using the phone

For as long as I can remember, making and taking phone calls sets off my fight/flight response. I get huge anticipation anxiety, then I forget things during calls and regret not saying X or Y at the end of a call. It stresses me out when there's silence while I try to think of a reply. Being unable to gauge the person's response (body language) is frightening. I resent the fact that there are many tasks (e.g. booking appointments) that require phones.

I'm a grown adult and I feel shame about this. Does anyone else have this problem?

Yes! I struggle with what you do. I don't have any wise words of wisdom to tell you but just wanted to reply

Yes can relate to phone anxiety, mine is worse when making a call for work and co-worker can hear what I’m saying and it causes anxiety sometimes, not always.

Definitely! I barely speak on the phone or hang on any call. If I have to do any chore, my partner is the one who gives his phone number to receive any call.
I find hard to talk to people face to face but speaking on the phone is even more threatening. I guess it’s because of the monitoring thing. You miss lots information when you can’t see the person and it makes you feel sort of naked.

Yes,I even procrastinate making the call.When procrastinating is not an option,I shake intensely while placing the call .By the time the receiving person answers I try to compose myself,still physically shaking.But no body can see me,that's a bonus.I am able to get back to normal by the time the conversation ends.But if it goes to voicemail my anxiety remains.

I understand I procrastinate to the last minute about calls in my personal life it’s not as bad but because I’m in sales professionally it is exhausting and truthfully I’m not as good as I could be. I can’t seem to find any true coping mechanisms or anything that seems to work for me. I can’t stand talking on the phone in public and sometimes I’ll just sit and stare at the phone knowing I have a call I need to make but can’t seem to bring myself to pick up that phone.

I’ll send an email in seconds flat and as long as I’m not exhausted or in a terrible mood will answer the phone and handle business but outbound calls for anything is like my nemesis I don’t think I haven’t anxiety symptoms on the calls I just can’t seem to do it.

And the weird part is I have normal self esteem and don’t seem to be concerned with what people think of me so I have no clue what I could be anxious about

I have phone anxiety. Sometimes I get so anxious I forget why I'm even calling. Sometimes I don't ask the right questions (if it's like an insurance company call or something like that). I'd be a terrible businessperson. I never get what I am "supposed" to get out of a phone call. Oh well. I don't find it such a big deal for myself. I would prefer instead to email than to use the phone, but I still have trouble being confrontational even in emails.

When I have to make a phone call because all strengths in the universe force me, my pitch, my tone and voice are very submissive. I didn’t even realised but I was said about it by a second person. I’m trying to work on it.

In your case, still when you have a normal self-esteem, your fear could be due to the missing parts in a phone communication. Maybe, your need to have a better knowledge about what’s going on is bigger in those occasions. Maybe, the instantaneity plays a big role because you are very concern to make a mistake or you are under a hard pressure at work.
I don’t know. It’s what comes to my mind at these moments.

I think writing a tiny plan, some key points of what you want to tell during the conversation before a phone call would be a nice idea. In this case, you would have all that you want to say in front of you and it would make yourself even a little bit more confident. At least, you wouldn't forget anything.

As for myself, I have this phone fear too. Well, I tend to avoid at any costs. I often forget things (therefore, I like making plans beforehand). I sound submissive. I am afraid. Etc. To overcome this, I got myself a job at the call centre. I'd been working there for half a year. Well, I didn't fully overcome this fear. I'm slightly better at this, I admit. However, when I need to make a call now and I'm afraid as I used to, I tell myself "come on, dudette, you've been working at the call centre. You're good. You can do it" And sometimes that helps

I used to have the same, especially when making calls.


Learn to tolerate your thoughts & feelings when receiving, making calls. Even if you stumble on your words, its fine - sit with that anxiety provoking feeling.

ERP techniques are used in therapy to overcome anxiety - take a look

I feel the same. Infact if i cant text you then i will avoid any communication unless im feeling very comfortable. But i hate the phone above all even if its my family who is calling.