[geez]

I'm feeling like crap right now. I'm doing things to try and make my life better but there's a part of me that needs to believe that I deserve to make things better. How do I actually believe this?

[El-ahrairah]

By believing. A stupid answer but it's true ;o

[Perna]

Originally Posted by geez

needs to believe that I deserve

Too convoluted. Laugh at/make fun of that part. Don't give it any power, energy, or credence. Tell it you don't care about it, what it needs and mock it. Who is it that thinks whether it believes or not is important to Me?

[MidnightStar2010]

Geez...I am in the same boat you are. I was told to try to say thank you when someone compliment me .. no matter if i believe it or not. I tried .. it did good for a while but then I stopped. I too didn't believe. I am not sure how anyone can just start believing in something that they don't feel in their heart to be true. but there has to be a way. We just haven't found it yet.

[Perna]

Do you know the story of The City Mouse and the Country Mouse?

http://www.storyit.com/Classics/Stor...untrymouse.htm

Think of your two deserve/don't deserve parts like that; feel sorry for the poor don't deserve portion of you but explore that world ("why" don't you deserve) and find it's not quite like you assume. In other words, get to know yourself better and you'll find good things you didn't realize and a couple bad things but it's all "you" and comfortable, who you want to be.

[geez]

Thank you all!

I'm feeling like it's one step forward two steps back with my life. Until I can conquer the root of self doubt then I will never truly be successful. I don't want to move forward to just move back again. Feeling a little stuck!

Thank you for listening.

[(JD)]

To change a bad habit (which would include negative self talk) takes 21 weeks... and that is if you replace it with a good habit (such as positive self talk.)

We have an advantage though when dealing with self talk and thoughts. It takes 30 seconds for a thought to become fixed in the brain. The brain can only think one thought at a time. That means if you say something negative (or think it) you have 30 seconds to make it into a positive thought ...which said positive thought would become fixed or stabilized after 30 seconds.

If you don't dwell upon the positive thought for 30 seconds, but move on to another thought, and maybe even a negative one (such as, I said that but I don't believe it) then you don't reap the benefit of the positive thought.

It's the right way to change thinking, but correcting and countering anything negative with a positive. It does work over time.

It does seem to take longer to remove a negative frame of mind over any one issue, than to embrace the negative....but that's because most of our negative thoughts are from habitual assault, whether by our own selves or from others.



I'm sorry you aren't feeling worthy today... but you are!

[geez]

Originally Posted by (JD)

To change a bad habit (which would include negative self talk) takes 21 weeks... and that is if you replace it with a good habit (such as positive self talk.)

We have an advantage though when dealing with self talk and thoughts. It takes 30 seconds for a thought to become fixed in the brain. The brain can only think one thought at a time. That means if you say something negative (or think it) you have 30 seconds to make it into a positive thought ...which said positive thought would become fixed or stabilized after 30 seconds.

If you don't dwell upon the positive thought for 30 seconds, but move on to another thought, and maybe even a negative one (such as, I said that but I don't believe it) then you don't reap the benefit of the positive thought.

Thank you JD. I'll be sure to try your suggestion.

[satisfieddone]

This was a nice thread. Thank you all!

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( geez ))))))))))))

[sisu]

If it were anyone else, you would foce them to earn your trust. Why should it be different with yourself?

You feel better about it by being reliable in your committment to better. Over time, that demonstrates to you a side of you that you can trust to listen to, who does what's good for you predictably and in ways you can count on. Until you are doing the things that make you better, you don't have any way to change your views.

So, do what you know will eventually work. Over time, you will see yourself doing it, and come to trust yourself in those moments, and slowly see that you are worth hearing when you say that you deserve it. After all, you're showing, not just saying.

I'm going through this, too. I'm not there yet, but i'm far more trustworthy than i used to be. the side effect is that I have safer, better circumstances, too, and that does its own good work on me.