Fear Fear Fear :(

I've changed careers many times. But I always wanted to be a performer, as in an actor... Now I'm actually pursueing my dreams after getting done with academics, got my bachelors and masters.. not in acting though.

But I always have this fear that stops me from moving forward... When the time comes to start pursueing something, I feel like I'll work super hard and it'll all go down the drain. Most of the time i'm weighing whether its worth to do it or not.

For example,

I need to lose weight. I constantly fear that I'll go for jogs, and eat right etc... and then I might lose weight, but then I'll gain it back, so then whats the point??

What is this? Is it a fear of success or failure?

I also feel that IF i do become a known actor, something I do or something will happen that will pull me down.. so then what do i do next?

Am I too obsessed with the future?

Idk why I'm just not able to give it my all to anything. I'm scared all the time.

I dunno. It seems like a fear of failure.

I would say that even in the end, if whatever good thing that happened to you ends up not lasting forever, you've got to be happier for having done it anyway.

Like, you took exercise for example. I used to work out avidly and be in good shape, and then I got depressed and gained a lot of the weight I lost back. But I am happier for having done it even if I can't see my efforts physically now because now I know I can accomplish that goal, having already done it. And when I was doing it, I derived a lot of happiness from it. And that was worth it.

It's like that saying "it's about the journey, not the destination."