[Beholden]

I've just started to read a book about getting rid of all the clutter in your home and mind.

It is a group or self help and group empowering book written by someone who had a problem with no motivation. That is often me because of depression and other poop. No motivation is a real problem for a lot of us I think.


I'd love to have a group of 'encouragers' like the fly lady has.

This is a picture of the book, "Sink Reflexions" http://www.flylady.com/pages/FlyShop_BSD.asp I bought my copy at a used book store last week. I'm motivated to get started.

Would any of you be interested in getting the book and doing a group here at PC?

[lynn P.]

I remember hearing an organizing expert say once "if our minds have clutter chances are your house does too". I can completely relate. I'm not super bad or a hoarder but I have my messy areas and need help getting motivated/organized. Since I've had this impossible marriage problem I've let certain things slide. After me and the girls went to bed last night - my husband took all the kitchen drawers and dumped the mess on the counter. I admit they needed doing and had a lot of kids stuff but that's not the positive way to solve the problem.

I really would love to get motivated and be on top of the household duties. I'm having a bad day today but will look for the book when I feel better. A neat organized house definitely affects how a person feels in their home. Thank you for starting this thread - it came at the right time. I would be interested in a group like this but at this moment I'm down.

[Beholden]

Happy you are interested lynnP.

What a terrible thing your husband did with the drawers! That isn't the way to motivate someone at all.

I will wait for a bit before we get started with a new group. You are on the list though!

[unaluna]

I am interested. I have to be de-hoarded in a month (and keep it up and live happily ever after, right?). I have done some real work already.

[Yoda]

I joined flylady.net but the site did not really suit my needs. She says, the very first thing you should do is clean your kitchen sink. Well that didn't work for me because my sink didn't drain and was full of nasty water/drano combination and insects buzzing about. I had to hire a plumber before I could even think of cleaning my sink.

I signed up to receive email from her site and I was receiving several emails per day and then had email clutter and personally I didn't find them helpful. I know she helps some people but we just didn't click.

I did find another site that is actually helpful to me though. I have been there over a year and I like going to chat because the members are so motivating and supportive. People post interesting things in the forums too but chat is what inspires me. If anyone is interested in checking it out it is at ---> http://takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi

Let me know if we are going to set up some kind of support here at PC for hoarders/squalor.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Yoda

Let me know if we are going to set up some kind of support here at PC for hoarders/squalor.

??? I have never found a decent site, really. either they had technical issues, or were just old, or I dunno.

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by hankster

??? I have never found a decent site, really. either they had technical issues, or were just old, or I dunno.

There was another site before this one (squalorsurvivors.com) that apparently was popular. It closed and you can still access old posts. It was already closed and the new one that I linked was up and running when I found it.

There are also two (I think) sites for families of hoarders but I don't go there as I am the hoarder.

The one I go to requires Java for chat, I believe. You can download it free from java.com Sometimes chat gets busy and sometimes it is slow. Just depends on the day.

Flylady didn't meet my needs either. But Sandra Felton's Messies Anonymous did wonders for me! I first discovered her work through her first book, "The Messies Manual." It helped me discover why I was having trouble cleaning the house, and that it wasn't simply laziness. It didn't help that at the time, I was married to a hoarder who himself was very messy, but held me to impossible cleanliness standards. It wasn't entirely him. I did have some messy tendencies too, but even when I could GET the house clean, he made it impossible to KEEP it that way. He'd have it trashed within minutes of arriving home, and expect me to come along and pick up behind him because, in his words, "That's what a wife is for."

The book benefited me, though, once we were apart. Nowadays, if you look at my house and you look at his house, you can see which one of is still a Messie.

For my part of it, when a place is very full of things, I have trouble telling figure from background. I simply won't know where to start. I need a minimalist decor, and I need for things to stay organized, or I get overwhelmed easily and it all goes to blue blazes.

[Beholden]

Originally Posted by hankster

I am interested. I have to be de-hoarded in a month (and keep it up and live happily ever after, right?). I have done some real work already.

Thanks for your interest hankster! However, the concept of the Flylady isn't to do it all within a certain timeframe, say one month. It is to start little, keep going and add cleaning tasks as you go.

I hadn't thought of Marla Cilley's book as a book for "hoarders" but that may be just my concept of learning a strategy to get motivated and then "live happily ever after"...................

My idea of a support group or a social group here at PC would be for non-hoarder who want to do some accountability and have encouragers a few key strokes away.

Hoarding is a different issue. As I'm not a hoarder non do I have any OCD sort of issue, just sometimes depression keeps me in a less than 'company ready' home.

Her book is just a tool as would an accountability group. It does have a Biblical aspect to it, which I like. Using her book as our guide we would all be on the same page so to speak.

So you are certainly welcome to join up once we get more interest!

[Beholden]

Originally Posted by Yoda

I joined flylady.net but the site did not really suit my needs. She says, the very first thing you should do is clean your kitchen sink. Well that didn't work for me because my sink didn't drain and was full of nasty water/drano combination and insects buzzing about. I had to hire a plumber before I could even think of cleaning my sink.

I signed up to receive email from her site and I was receiving several emails per day and then had email clutter and personally I didn't find them helpful. I know she helps some people but we just didn't click.

I did find another site that is actually helpful to me though. I have been there over a year and I like going to chat because the members are so motivating and supportive. People post interesting things in the forums too but chat is what inspires me. If anyone is interested in checking it out it is at ---> http://takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi

Let me know if we are going to set up some kind of support here at PC for hoarders/squalor.

Yoda, thanks for the link for anyone interested in it, rather than The FLYlady idea.

One of the things I've read so far in the book "Sink Reflexion" is that you just start. There isn' a beginning date, you just jump in where you are.

Her using the sink cleaning as the first babystep is simply a "go" spot. For you I can see how that would be a big problem since you needed a plumber first. The idea behind starting with the sink, most of us can clean our sink even if it means taking the dirty dishes out of it and putting them on the counter top. To have a clean sink is the point. A sense of accomplishment.

You don't have to follow the book completely, especially as some of it won't apply to you personally. Her book is just a guide.

Also one of the things the book directs you to is to start forming routines. Like not going to your computer or tv or whatever else keeps you from having a nice clean clutter free space until you have do your routine. It isn't judgemental, it is just a book with ideas that worked for her. I like many need structure in my life rather than to be totally free spirited. To have a goal. I am happier when I actually get something finished!

I'm happy to know you found the other websites especially the chat part more helpful.

[Beholden]

Originally Posted by LovebirdsFlying

Flylady didn't meet my needs either. But Sandra Felton's Messies Anonymous did wonders for me! I first discovered her work through her first book, "The Messies Manual." It helped me discover why I was having trouble cleaning the house, and that it wasn't simply laziness. It didn't help that at the time, I was married to a hoarder who himself was very messy, but held me to impossible cleanliness standards. It wasn't entirely him. I did have some messy tendencies too, but even when I could GET the house clean, he made it impossible to KEEP it that way. He'd have it trashed within minutes of arriving home, and expect me to come along and pick up behind him because, in his words, "That's what a wife is for."

The book benefited me, though, once we were apart. Nowadays, if you look at my house and you look at his house, you can see which one of is still a Messie.

For my part of it, when a place is very full of things, I have trouble telling figure from background. I simply won't know where to start. I need a minimalist decor, and I need for things to stay organized, or I get overwhelmed easily and it all goes to blue blazes.

Lovebirdflying, So happy you found your 'tool'! Way to go with your messes

[littlebitlost]

Thumbs up for FlyLady!