[ShootingStars]

So there's this girl in my class, which is a part of my circle of friends in school (we just hang out with the same people) but she doesn't really like me.
Maybe I'm just paranoid but it's just the feeling that I get from her.
When we go out she takes a lot of pictures, not that many from me, in classes she doesn't talk to me that much, ... just stuff like that.

I'm the type of person who wants everybody to like her, though I know that's not possible. I have very low self esteem, I think I'm boring, ugly, no fun, blah, ...

I know that not everybody likes me. Sometimes I don't like someone and I don't know why, they're just not my type of person. But from some people I "crave" acceptance and liking, while from other people I don't really care.

It makes me really self concious which results in me not being myself. I used to be a really talkative person, fun, funny, bubbly, active, ... but lately I'm feeling really bad, which has to do with self esteem so if I posted this in the wrong place, I'm sorry.

I just wanna be confident again, and by googling: how to be confident, doesn't really work for me. I just wanna hear stories from people who got out of their "low confidence zone" and went back to their confidence self
Cuz I don't really know where to start, and I don't feel like looking into the mirror or writing a list of my good qualities, because I won't find that many.

[Ds_Mommy]

Hi shootingstars- What a good question :-) I think most people with low self-esteem do not even value themselves enough to ask this kind of question; I am glad you did. I can't claim to be "someone who got out of their low confidence zone and went back to their confidence self," because I definitely have spurts of each..however, what is helpful for me, is to identify the inner qualities that I want to have, or that I value in others--and strive to have those myself.

For instance, I often struggle with not "gossiping" at work..or just sharing info that doesn't need to be shared, even if it's not really something bad. One of my co-workers is really good at only sharing information that others need to know--and I really respect that in her. So, that is a quality that I strive for--and when I am able to do it, I am able to tell myself that I did well. The more I can tell myself I did "well" in certain things, and the more I become the person I want to be--the more I like myself.

So..can you come up with a list of qualities you would like to have? Or qualities that you appreciate when you see them in others? Maybe we can help you figure out how to apply them, then :-)

[ShootingStars]

Hi, thank you for answering

Yea, the people I want "acceptance" of are mostly outgoing, extraverted, fun, confident, they don't care what other people think of them and they say what's on their mind.
Which I don't am or do...

[Ds_Mommy]

I like that you are able to see that you aren't those things..I wonder then, what makes you want to be them? Do you think they will only accept people who are the same as them?

[ShootingStars]

Because the approval I want from people is always from people that are like that. And I don't know why I "crave" their approval, I just want them to like me so I'll feel like accepted...
Maybe it's because I feel I don't have many friends that I want to be liked by a lot of people..