[Purple Mist]

does anyone have any resources for someone with very little self esteem/confidence?
i grew up never having much self esteem and its now affecting me in more ways than one and i can't seem to pull myself out of the black hole that has kept me captive for the last 25 years. i need someone to be the flashlight in this situation and light the way for me to flee the black hole

[Mindinpieces]

Hi, I am sorry you have felt and feeling like this it's never nice, I hope you can feel at ease with yourself soon. I am not sure if this may help but someone once said to me that changing the use of words you use can make a big difference (sorry, don't think I am assuming you feed yourself with negative self talk) but I think we all do this from time to time to ourselves

example: I am no good at...
changes to: I could be better at... or an area I need to improve on...

believe it or not sometime just changing the comments you tell yourself by wording them in a more positive constructive way can help. There are many better examples but I can't think right now. Sorry I am a fine one to talk as I often fall back into bad thinking patterns. However again instead of being hard on yourself if things may not have turned out as you would have liked them to try to ease up because that happens to everyone and things have there up's and down's it's just part of being human. Sorry if this wasn't helpful for you and that I could not be of more help.

[numb61]

I am sorry that I don't have any specific resources for you. I really struggle with my self esteem too. I am really trying to focus on more positive things and have been using affirmations such as "I am a good person" "I am resourceful" At first I thought this was a stupid excercise, but am slowly starting to believe some of the things I tell myself.

[Perna]

Find something you like and follow it out. I did a lot of reading of young adult novels, especially fantasy, and used that.

[madisgram]

here's a great article that may help you. the first mentioned is for ppl with substance abuse but the others apply to help you.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/how...r-self-esteem/

I don't know if you have tried any of the following, but these are things I have done which have helped:

1.) Seeing a talk therapist, by far the most helpful thing for me. A professional with proper training who is able to stand outside of your situation and see the situation clearly.

2.) Reading a self help book advised by my therapist, I'm not sure if recommending titles is allowed on here (I'm new to this forum) but it's available on Amazon and involves cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). With low self-esteem I find thoughts tend to spiral out of control (in my case leading to depression/anxiety) and CBT techniques have helped me stop those thoughts in their tracks. It's a work in progress, but I feel I'm going in the right direction.

3.) Being good to yourself. This sounds corny but actually can help - give yourself treats, do things that you enjoy whatever they may be, with me it's art (I joined a class, added bonus the social contact is good too). You deserve good things, so whatever it is you enjoy then go for it.

4.) Talking to someone you trust - this actually I find hardest, but if there is someone (family/friend whatever) who you feel you can open up to then that too can be a huge help. I tend to feel guilty on this one, not uncommon with low self-esteem, thinking people don't want to know or they won't like me if I tell them what I really feel but having talked about it to a few select people I have been reassured.

No quick fixes I'm afraid, but I have found all the above helpful - hope some of it helps you too.

[Fuzzybear]

[Soliir]

You sound just like me two years ago. My cure was getting involved in charity.

That's another great thing to do Soliir, I do voluntary work for a charity and the skills I have learned/people I have met not to mention the good feeling from knowing I am making a difference have all been a huge plus.

When you have low self-esteem sometimes it's really hard to make that first step, but in my experience it's very rewarding. Not sure if you are still following this thread Purple Mist, or if you still feel as low as you did when you posted, but I hope the shared experiences will help you.