thought i'd share this email i got this morning.

very inspirational

15 Things To Give Up - To Be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make
your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many
things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering –
and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting
today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and
we will embrace change.
1. Give up your need to always be right
There are so many of us who can't stand the idea of being wrong
– wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great
relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and
for others. It's just not worth it. Whenever you feel the
`urgent' need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is
wrong, ask yourself this question: "Would I rather be right, or
would I rather be kind?" Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make?
Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that
happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc.
Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on
the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone
to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
"By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who
let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning."
Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don't
have, for what you feel or don't feel. Stop giving your powers away
and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their
negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don't
believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if
it's negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
"The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly,
however, it becomes very destructive." Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs
about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible.
>From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to
keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
"A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds
the mind" Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, many
things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and
depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad
or miserable unless you allow it to. It's not the situation that
triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are
different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We
all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want
to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us
all.
8. Give up your need to impress others
Stop trying so hard to be something that you're not just to make
others like you. It doesn't work this way. The moment you stop
trying so hard to be something that you're not, the moment you take
off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change
Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will
help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those
around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don't resist
it.
"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where
there were only walls" Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels
Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don't
understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind,
little by little. Minds only work when open. "The highest form of
ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything
about." Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn't exist – you created it.
It's all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall
into place.
"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself." Franklin D.
Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses
Send them packing and tell them they're fired. You no longer need
them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we
use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our
lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses
– excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past
I know, I know. It's hard. Especially when the past looks so much
better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you
have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past
that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you
when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything
you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination.
Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be
present in the now.
14. Give up attachment
This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have
to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it's not
something impossible. You get better and better at with time and
practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that
doesn't mean you give up your love for them – because love and
attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from
a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and
self less, where there is love there can't be fear, and because of
that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so
tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you
will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state
beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people's expectations
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their
lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think
is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people's expectations,
that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.
You have one life – this one right now – you must
live it, own it, and especially don't let other people's opinions distract you from your path.

[medkev13]

It seems some of these numbers naturally lead to others. Like "Give up your need to impress others" leads to "Give up living your life to other people's expectations", which then leads to "Give up your self-defeating talk". Similarly, "Give up needing to be in control" leads to "Give up needing to always be right", which leads to "Give up Criticism".

All of these sound like wonderful ideas....I just fear that if I tried them I wouldn't know where to begin.

Oh, and a good addition to this is reading the book "Peace Begins Here" by Thich Nhat Hanh

[katgalaxy8606]

Very good tips. I have been trying to implement a lot of these ideas in my life, not working so much yet...but I believe if I keep at it things will change. They have improved immensely so far but I know I have a long way to go.

I also recommend Thich Nhat Hanh as medkev13 said above. Another great author I like is Pema Chodron.