Start all over

there are a few areas that i need to work on in my life. They are:
to stop being so self-centered and thinking that the world revolves around me
to stop thinking that people are out to get me.
to stop thinking that laughs are meant to be malicious.
to stop fearing what has already passed.
to not be ashamed of who i am and to live each day with a smile on my face
to drown out the sound of people's voices
to just start with a blank slate.
I want to do all over again.
I want to get rid of toxic energy from my body. I want to be positive.
I don't consider being sexual a bad thing because we are all sexual creatures. In science we would have been considered primates.

I realize that from the cognitive perspective, that human beings engage in behaviors based on their ideas and thoughts. Because I constantly think I'm ignored and lonely, I would cry. I would torture myself for several minutes crying and hoping that someone could come to my aid when all it is is that i've been alone and bored and when my mind is idle, there's a lot to consider, be they dreams, aspirations, or unrealistic longings.

In general, I've found that people are usually so wrapped up in themselves to notice someone else is hurting and needs/wants support. However, if you reach out to them, they would gladly give you what support they can give at the moment. It may not be much or it may be enough. Unless they're a close friend, people generally don't know you're hurting unless you tell them.

I used to do the same thing you do: cry until someone notices and asks me what's wrong. I'd tell them; they would sympathize and offer advice. Then I would shoot them down. After awhile people stopped asking me what was wrong.