I'm so happy.. I can finally see myself I finally know who I am..

I don't know what happened.. I got a message from someone I don't know very well asking me if I could look after her dogs. I told her I've been suffering from stomach trouble for a long time and she asked me if I knew what was wrong. It's been over a day since I received her message and I was struggling with my reply to her.

The thing is, I feel I can't be honest about the reason for my stomach problems.. I believe they're a stress reaction to growing up with a dad I was dead scared of.. But no one has believed me that my dad was so scary because his anger is 'invisible'.. Like, 'I'm so not going to give you what you need!' but still keeping a tight grip on me.. Officially, I've been diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and have been telling people this is what I have.. But now, suddenly, I didn't want to write those words down..

I sent my T a text asking her to validate my fear of my dad, and she did.. And now I suddenly feel like it doesn't matter if no one else believes me.. That I know the truth and can see myself, and my T has seen me, and that's enough! I finally know who I am.. that my emotions are my own

[sideblinded]

Kudos to you and I think a congrats is in order. It sounds like you have been validated and I hope you continue to grow.

[IrisBloom]

Good job! It's important to remember getting better is a very slow process. And be kind to yourself

Thank you! It's so great to have these moments where you can feel you've made progress, it gives you the strength and motivation to keep working and going even further

[BeYou]

How are you doing? You should be doing better now! And your emotion, and acknowledging them first - is BIG start to your better feeling you! When you look at something, the something changes...something like that! I heard the first step is to acknowledge something and them things change!!

Thank you for asking, BeYou! I sent my dog owner friend a message in the end explaining a little bit about my stomach issues, and threw in a vague 'it's probably to do with stress' like my therapist suggested - my friend hasn't got back me yet, but that's fine, I really don't know her so well so I'm not expecting her to say much about what I shared with her..

Other than that, I haven't been doing too good, my stomach's been bothering me so much the past week I feel like curling up in a ball and crying.. Really sucks having IBS.